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Ever want to be hitman in real life?


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#41 OverGrad47

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Posted 24 July 2006 - 10:07 AM

i would definnatley do it. you would have an adventure every fuckin day of your life if you were to be as good as 47, thats every mans dream. it would be a hella messy job though. :cheers:
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#42 French Cat

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Posted 24 July 2006 - 08:59 PM

me='Da*man' date='Jul 23 2006, 03:48 AM' post='785331']
Come to think of it, you could become an assassin for your country, go work for the NSA, like Sam Fisher, or join Her Majesty's Secret Service, like James Bond, or apparently Agent 47.


basically, NSA is just a bunch of people, men and women, full of diplomas (mostly about language and data processing), sitting behind a desk and spending their days using a PC... far from the Sam Fisher delirium :P :P
(actually, for that kind of mission, the CIA has some troops -not "secret agents" like James Bond, think about a "large squad of good elements coming from special forces unit -Seals, Rangers, etc." in Vietnam, the one zero team MAC SOG was under CIA command IIRC)

now, about James Bond, is at the same time a secret agent (understand, "a spy", collecting informations), a "Romeo agent" (Romeo agents were agents having received courses about how to seduce/make love/collect information via "social engineering", that basically spend their time in 4 stars hotels, seducing their targets so as to have "pillow talks"), and a clandestine military unit (like "one zero team MAC SOG") by itself :D

-James Bond's creator, Ian Fleming, was a former secret agent (MI5 or MI6, I don't remember), and, knowing that people would be more passionned by exotic adventures rather than by real life, that's why James Bond is a kind of "one man army"

ahem, end of digression, back on subject:

I've noticed it's common for teenagers to think about becoming a hitman or a mercenary, without knowing what is the life of the said professional -for what it's worth, I had the same thoughts when I was 15... a step in a male teenager's constuction, I guess *shrugs*
anyway, one thing to consider is that being a hitman means working for a criminal group, generally a mafia.
now, a little problem appears:

this means that before becoming a hitman, you'll have to prove your "loyalty" or "valor" to the criminal group... which means, acting like a criminal, living like a criminal, and to belong to a group. and that's where it becomes funny, criminals are self-predators: f*ck your trusted friend amongst the criminal world, or be f*cked (sometimes... literally.) by him. this applys anytime, to any criminal. much of us have already seen that kind of scene in a movie: the drug dealers come with the drug, and the buyers kills them so as to have the drug AND the money. well this is a tacit rule for the criminals: so-called "honor codes" are just a means to get a "good image" via the medias, that's all.

so... becoming a hitman is definitively great idea: if the boss has a greater interest in betraying you by giving informations on you to the rival mafia, he'll do it... :)

but, it is true that some hitmen have "succeeded": Richard Kuklinski, the most renowned hitman, with "at least" 100 contracts executed, is now... in jail, for 20 years.


to be honest, what surprises me the most is that many teenagers who would like to be a hitman are generally fond of video games; the higher degree of violence ever exerced by them being clicking on a mouse so as to kill virtually a virtual adversary. that's not a judgement of valor, just an observation -how many of the would-be hitmen have already really disembowelled a real rabbit with a real knife, spilling real blood and real organs and smelling real smell ?
or, closer from the human being, have already touched a real corpse and smelled its wonderfull smell ? (ah, the smell of a body drowned since two weeks... just great :D)

just an observation... :(

Edited by French Cat, 24 July 2006 - 09:00 PM.

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#43 Vladimir Lem

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Posted 25 July 2006 - 01:12 AM

Yeah, touching dead bodies defintely isn't kosher.
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#44 Xaero

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Posted 25 July 2006 - 05:13 AM

here is a test for all you hitman wanna bes. take a knife or some other wep. go to some one random and kill him in cold blood. if you get busted for it you aint gonna have the chance to be one cuz you'll be in jail geting in touch whit your feminine side. and if you get away whit it then you'll have to deal whit the guilt you have if you'll have some. but then there is the problem of geting a job. you'd need some one to get you jobs and stuff. but that is realy hard some what imposible. if i had a choise becoming a hitman i would say yes in the begining but then on my first job i would chinken and so would you.
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#45 Lucimal

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Posted 25 July 2006 - 07:19 AM

http://pz2000.netfir...nline-edit.html

Nuff said

Luci
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#46 Shaokin_3233

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Posted 25 July 2006 - 11:04 AM

Come on, if you really wanted to be a hitman, would you actually talk about it?
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#47 HomestarRunner

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Posted 25 July 2006 - 11:34 AM

I've taken the libritey of calling the FBI on all of you. Toodles.
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#48 Mr. Clean

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Posted 25 July 2006 - 01:44 PM

Yep, let's please lock this nonsense before overexcited children get the forum owners subpoenaed to turn over everybody's IP addresses. I have enough gov't paperwork to deal with without some kids on a forum talking about becoming murderers messing with my background checks.
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#49 Enrique3929

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Posted 25 July 2006 - 01:49 PM

well about the CIA, we spoke with an ex-agent at NYLF and he said that if you put all of the field officers the CIA has had, EVER, then you would find just about all the things james bond has done, excluding the women and invisible cars and swinging around and driving tanks around major cities. however i'm sure he did over exaggerate a little bit :wtf:
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#50 Mizkif

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 04:07 AM

http://pz2000.netfir...nline-edit.html

Nuff said

Luci


That book is a load of crap written by a middle-aged housewife from Florida. It's hard to believe, but somebody actually tried to use it as a guide. He's in prison now, of course.

84% of homicides in the US are eventually solved and I'm sure you can figure out why that is.
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#51 .matty

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 08:02 AM

"Ever want to be hitman in real life?"

:hmm:... Yes
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#52 t047

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 08:27 AM

An assassins life span isnt usually long
U'd waste ur life and even if u did try 2 become 1 its no 'walk into ICA HQ' and say "erm... i wanna be a hitman" and u'll get a laptop- THATS A VIDEO GAME. REAL LIFE IS DIFFERENT. THATS WHY VIDEOGAMES ARE CREATED. YOU CAN DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
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#53 JCFast

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 08:42 AM

An assassins life span isnt usually long
U'd waste ur life and even if u did try 2 become 1 its no 'walk into ICA HQ' and say "erm... i wanna be a hitman" and u'll get a laptop- THATS A VIDEO GAME. REAL LIFE IS DIFFERENT. THATS WHY VIDEOGAMES ARE CREATED. YOU CAN DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.


WHAT!? Thanks for clearing that out for me man! I was just gonna buy a sniper and take some contracts... Phew... Luckily you managed to post your reply before I wasted my life. Thanks!
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#54 VLK

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 01:35 PM

French Kat said:

how many of the would-be hitmen have already really disembowelled a real rabbit with a real knife, spilling real blood and real organs and smelling real smell ?
or, closer from the human being, have already touched a real corpse and smelled its wonderfull smell ? (ah, the smell of a body drowned since two weeks... just great )

Well said:

Ok my friends, the VLK is here.......

So you want to be a "hit-man". You wish to make lots of money, live your life in the shadows, never know a "real life " with love and warmth, also looking around you, never knowing whom to trust, sleep is a premium, but to know the breath taking, knee-knocking, adrenalin rush of pushing the edge.......

Ahhhhh........

Follow French Kats advice, shoot a legally hunted animal and skin it. You don't have to go nuts and jump around naked in the guts, just get use to blood.

Oh, and by the way, there is a group within the NSA that has diploma's but we've also get a little "hammer-time" in.


I am short on time so I'll be back on this topic, just keep in mind, there are better ways to make money. Get good grades, choose a moneyed profession, go to a good college, and work hard at your job.

I will be back....

Regards
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#55 Kupo

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 01:46 PM

Mossad does more assassinating then NSA. mainly because Isreals solution is violence, while the us of a's solution used to be diplomacy until Bush Jr. becaem president. but we really dont assassinate people.
Simply, if Bush played hitman, he would go rambo as opposed to sneaking around. Just shows his mindset, he dissapproves of "Dat sneakin' round little feller !"
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#56 VLK

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 02:00 PM

French Kat said:

how many of the would-be hitmen have already really disembowelled a real rabbit with a real knife, spilling real blood and real organs and smelling real smell ?
or, closer from the human being, have already touched a real corpse and smelled its wonderfull smell ? (ah, the smell of a body drowned since two weeks... just great )

Well said:

Ok my friends, the VLK is here.......

So you want to be a "hit-man". You wish to make lots of money, live your life in the shadows, never know a "real life " with love and warmth, also looking around you, never knowing whom to trust, sleep is a premium, but to know the breath taking, knee-knocking, adrenalin rush of pushing the edge.......

Ahhhhh........

Follow French Kats advice, shoot a legally hunted animal and skin it. You don't have to go nuts and jump around naked in the guts, just get use to blood.

Oh, and by the way, there is a group within the NSA that has diploma's but we've also get a little "hammer-time" in.


I am short on time so I'll be back on this topic, just keep in mind, there are better ways to make money. Get good grades, choose a moneyed profession, go to a good college, and work hard at your job.

I will be back....

Regards
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#57 Mr. Clean

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 02:02 PM

Speaking of big brother, I bet those buzz words Kupo strung together in combination with the name of a security conscious, highly placed individual just won you some flags with those intelligence agency web crawlers. Congrads! :cheers:

Edited by Mr. Clean, 26 July 2006 - 02:03 PM.

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#58 Enrique3929

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Posted 26 July 2006 - 04:58 PM

don't see why the NSA would ever assassinate anyone, their a signals intelligence organization. If anyone would do it it would be the CIA who has human assets and a paramilitary branch.
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#59 VLK

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Posted 27 July 2006 - 07:25 PM

The NSA is not into assasinations, as stated already, they are an electronic intelligence gathering/sending organization as well as decoding gathered electronic (and other) intelligence. Again, French Kat was correct when he stated that it is an organization full of PC geeks and diploma's.

However........

A number of positions are filled by memebers of the military. They work for the military. These people are "drafted" from various branches of the American Armed Forces, usually those that show a high apptitude for communications and languages. They serve out their military time, get an honorable discharge, wait six months and get "invited" back as a civilian employee. First stint is over sea's and it goes on from there.

Now..... Section Five, it looks better when you type : Section V, something about the V, I guess. "The Hammer". Section V is responsible for security. The guard at the gate, the plain clothes protecting the director, the "shooters" protecting the "field intelligence gatheres" out in the badlands.

Anyone of you is aware that there are "dead" spots in the ionsphere, its why your car radio works great
here, but not so good there. So, its the same in electronic intercept. Evesdropping stealth air craft is preferred, but sometimes stealthcraft (over Paris) is not practical or the man wants the goodies over such a long period of time that a ground crew is sent in. We prefer five star hotels.... just kidding.

We live in shit.

We are not seen, we are not caught. To see us is to die. Your death is made to look like an accident
if there time. We make the time. If revelation/detection becomes a certainty, the whole area goes boom.
Everyone on the team signs on thinking that it will not happen to them.I'm reminded of an apartment in Vienna that went up from a gas leak back in the mid eighties. Drift?

Section V...security, "hammer time". We do not do missions of assasinations, that's for other branches of our Government. We do damage control.


So....you want to be a "hitman".....

Anybody killed and gutted a rabbit yet? I gave you a day...

Governments, even the bad ones, do not "hit" people as a regular basis. Denote the word regular.

So... the French in Algiers in the late 50's, the French in Vietnam in the mid-50's, the Greeks in Turkey in the late 50's and mid 60's, the Turks in Greece and Kurdistan in the early 60's, the Americans in Vietnam in the late 60's to early 70"s, the Spainard's in Basque in the late 60's, mid 70's, and early 80's. The Isralei's just got a movie made about themselves (heh-heh). The Red Chinese in Taiwan, doing about fifty people a year since 1948 until present. Dui Phouc in Indonesia, early 70's to present, Alman-Da-Sakur in Sudan (spelling)late 90's to present, the English doing the IRA ( and vice versa) late 60's, early 70's . late 70's, early 80's, late 80's, and early 90's (nasty lot of buggers, eh?), and my most favorite and under the radar, Canada vs. the Quebec seperatists. They actually used snipers and called it a heart attack. You just have to love socialism.



So, I mention a few obscure times when Goverments have used "hitmen" but as you can see, it's not done on a regular basis.

?

So, I believe there may be employment opportunities.

And I may have a few fellow travellers ot there that could point to more.

So...you want to be a "hitman".

Tell me..do you want to kill? Do you want money? Do you want to just use "cool" weapons, watch the grey spray, have a pint "o" stout and call it a day. Want women? Want to be "bad-boy" in front of the dudes and dudettes?

Then you should become a bad neuro -surgeon. Wanted people have no life.

Governments draw their assassins from within their ranks, it's about control. Ok, their was a year or two that Bulgarians where so popular but that passed real quick, because no one could figure out who was hiring them, and the entire intelligence community was going nuts.
Can you spell Pope?

Sociopaths (which may from time to time be mentioned, but not fully coverd here) need not apply. The best you can hope for is an early capture and a "cap" in the ear. I hope it's not in a KIA, I hear the windows blow out all over the road from the report. LMAO. Seoul? Imagine that.

OK, I say too much....

Governments and Control.

Killing in cold blood is not something most people can do... The nomal person needs a reason and 4 things make a good employee. Hate, revenge, self-defense, and belief in a greater cause (this will cover duty and orders). Money as a motive is fine up until the great "Gonad" starts to put the hedge shears on your thumb and then all of the sudden you decide you would like to be a "Gonad", too.
A couple of bottles of ale, a few "Gonad" tales and heck, we are all friends here.

So...Governments draw from within their own ranks, because of control.
but yet Governments do not use "hitmen". Thus it doesn't pay alot.

I'm out of time.....

Advice #1:

Immediately tonight, run. Run every moment you can. Enroll in judo, karate, yoga, and dancing (yes)
either ballet, waltz, or hip-hop. Your goal will be to develop stamina, strength, conviction, and fluid movement. This does not come over night. You will exercise. You will lift weights and exercise until you are ill. You will not become a muscle bound lizard! Your objective will be to be strong, but yet non-descrept. At this point nothing you do must make you stand out. Below the radar. You are training to be a "hitman".

But run, run until it hurts, run until you fall over and when you don't fall over anymore, place weights in a back-pack and run until you fall over. Finally, take up boxing after you have about a year of the four arts listed above under your belt. You'll need this to round you out and if you run up against the Shin-Beth. Aye lads the hardest of the lot and if you be a "hitman" you will meet them.

Seeing as BM is for 17+ I can only assume my next message comes too late. Obviously no one in here is younger than 17+. Correct?

Studies:

You will need schooling in Mechanical Engineering, Electrical Engineering/Electronics , and a minor in Chemistry. You will volunteer as an EMT. You will do charity work amongst the poor, you will work soup kitchens. You will observe and learn how to move about the street as a member of the humble masses.
You will work as a mechanic in an automotive garage. You will seek work in the three facets of industrial/natural gas supply. You will work for a courier company. Ideally all of this part-time as your going to school. Last but not least you will work for a small "ammonia" based printing company, for free if you have to. All of this will develop skills in moving amongst people besides other things.

A word about math and chemistry:

Do not be afraid of math and chemistry. Both of these items are a "switch" issue. 2500 years ago
a Greek bi-sexual said that the sum of all four angles of a square = 360 degree's. Whoa.

Math/Chemistry escapes alot of people in their younger years. The thing is at some point at the age of 12, 15, 18, 21, 35, 60, etc. it's like a switch gets thrown and this stuff is so obvious that you feel like a clutz. All you need is help in throwing the switch. Ask mums and pops for a tutor, the tutor gets 15 days, if you don't click, get another tutor. It's a switch and you just need someone to turn it. It's like "click" and all of the sudden you can reason it all out for yourself.

Ok you've been most patient, now for some fun....

Ask mums and pops for three good copies of your birth certificate, you'll need them. Put them in three seperate locations known only to you.

Ask pops to take you out for some skeet shooting on a regular basis. Be safe, obey the rules, and learn to track the target.

And enroll in the classes suggested. Run and exercise.

Later
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#60 VLK

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Posted 28 July 2006 - 12:49 PM

Rabbit? Anyone.. a rabbit?

I'm at the shops today, a grey-haired male, a geezer gets out of his car. Bodies a perfect V, he's hard, arms as thick in the biceps, maybe 8-9 cm. . I wonder what he did to get his arms so big, steroids? Time? I make sure I take a good look at his face. I'm curious.... what's this guy look like?

How are you doing with the running? Remember this will take years.

Ok, so now you have your degree in mechanical engineering, electrical/electonics, and you know some chemistry. You've walked and worked admidst the huddle masses. You know alot of "odd" things. You can handle yourself in unarmed combat, your rugged and lithe. You've stayed under the radar. You have no distinguishing marks, tatoo's, scars or body peircings. You have good grades, you go to Church, your every parents dream child.

Time to go to the edge. Enroll in military service. Try for one of the elite branches. Your one up on everybody, you got education. They'll all want you if you can handle the physical, but we talked about this. remember? It is here where you will receive your training on how to kill. Where at this point in time are you going to go to learn how to use a grenade, a mine, tamp expolsives, or use an RPG?

You will need to experience combat. The problem is with your education they will want to make you an officer. I suggest you take it although it will shorten your length of time in your real career goal. Somebody asked,"How do I adveritse?" Your "networking" will start here as an officer in an elite team.

As an officer you will need to fight your superiors to lead from the front. You will need to lead from the front because you will need the combat experience. You will need to learn how to function and think when you are so afraid that your bowels are loose and jelly like. You will need to learn how to control your breathing, your trembling hands and knees, and yes, even your perspiration and your eyes. You are not a sociopath so you need to learn how to kill.

And all this "paid for training is legal". And you will have the warm fuzzy feeling of serving your country.
Your pops will buy you a drink (just have one), virgins will swoon in your arms, and the local magistrate will parade you about the factory. Your mums will make you the best dinners of your life.


Advice #2

Never own a vehicle in your own name. It has to do with the insurance and registration.

Believe it or not I actually had a small paragraph going here and my soliciter advised that I was encouraging insurance fraud.

Ahem, do not buy a car. Walk, run everywhere. There's too much pollution. The rain forest die.

However, it seems I can tell you to never own a vehicle. Borrow. Then again, it's not against the law for you to make sure your best mate has a second vehicle to drive his poor "bed ridden" mums to the chemist and back.
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