241 replies to this topic

[English]

Lo and behold, the off-topic remake of '1,000 Things I Learned From Hitman'. In this case, we'll be making a list of 1,000 unwritten rules of society, friendship, dating, romance, and marriage that you learned about the hard way.

Enjoy.

1. Letting your underwear show by having your pants down lower looks a lot less cool and threatening when you're wearing plaid boxers.

meh. I used to like this thread, just remembered about it, it's real dead, but lets revive.

[Captain Steve]

1. Eyes forward and up at the urinal
2. Never assume the cop has a sense of humor
3. Never ask for more fingers in the cavity search

[Surgical Scar]

4. When taking a leak outdoors, urinate downhill and/or with the wind.
5. Never, ever, agree to settle a dispute with Ro-Sham-Bo. Not even if they let you go first.
6. Cooking oil isn't a substitue for olive oil when dressing salad.

[Profess]

7. McDonald's fries don't need more salt, especially when your blind enough to pick up sugar.
8. Baggy long-sleeved jumper is not appropriate cooking attire.
9. Glue is not a desirable stand-in for string when wearing a mask.

[Agent 17]

10. Man up and get her digits before she walks out of your life.

--Agent 17

[Bosola]

11. Don't fall too hard for ambition. You'll only render yourself misery at best, sabotage your very purpose at worst.

[Logan]

12. Nothing lasts forever.

[Bosola]

13. Fuck 'seeing the positive'. Fight back and change unfair, evil, or absurd situations, for others as much for yourself.

Edited by Bosola, 02 July 2008 - 07:06 PM.

[Ace]

Holy shit, I got V2'd.

14. If you know the guy who wears the mascot suit, he will single you out.

Edited by Ace, 02 July 2008 - 07:47 PM.

[HenryHill]

15. Do not sleep with girls you don't like, but hang out with on a daily basis.

Edited by HenryHill, 02 July 2008 - 07:59 PM.

[Zeron]

16. Do not run while you're only wearing a towel.

[Itrade]

17. The more pleasureable it is, the more guilty you'll feel when you've finished.

[Surgical Scar]

18. Never go to the gym if you're having trouble with gas.

[Henrick]

19. She's related to you.

[Armitage]

20. Petrol, fire and alcohol are not a safe combination.
21. It's ok to get nappy rash as a teenager, it happens to the best of us.
22. Sniffing your sisters underwear will not get you arrested.

[Tearacall]

19. She's related to you.

LMAO!

[mr_17]

23. every silver lining has a cloud.

24. just because the girl smiles at you does not mean you can have sex with her. (important)

25. if it looks like a cow, smells like a cow,, and sounds like a cow, its probably your girlfriends mother in law, act accordingly.

[Fonzie]

25. if it looks like a cow, smells like a cow,, and sounds like a cow, its probably your girlfriends mother in law, act accordingly.

You mean start milking her?

[Ace]

25. if it looks like a cow, smells like a cow,, and sounds like a cow, its probably your girlfriends mother in law, act accordingly.

uh, isn't that my mother?

???

[яedяum]

26. It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. The pressing issue is that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.