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Your Sexual Experiences/Wank Thread v2


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#1 Steaming Bowel Movement(s)

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 01:32 AM

...well, not like that.

This is personal shit; post whatever the hell you want - nothing is forbidden. We ARE open-minded of course.

Ok, so I'll start it off.

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I ended up running into these girls who I had sort of known, but had never really talked to a whole lot (one of them was my next-door neighbor). They pulled up in my driveway, just as my dad was dropping me off.

They asked me to come and party with them, so naturally all I had to do was make up a fake story (to my mom) about my friend going away to Juvie for a month, and this would be my last time to see him. It worked out, and no I do not feel proud about that, but what was I supposed to say?

"Hey, mom I ran into these hot girls who really want to party and get drunk with me! Can I go, please?" No, that's something I'd say to my dad.

It's probable pussy, dammit.

Anyway, I hop into the car. One of them was really flirtatious, so I just said "fuck it" and made the move while we were driving. She enjoyed it, but said that my tongue tasted nasty. When I told her I smoked, she realized why.

So, we decide to drop two of them (one of them being the girl I kissed) off at the homecoming dance. Next thing we know, were looking for a place to party, just me and these two other gals.

We decide to go to one girl's house, kind of outside of the city. It was nice, and I mean NICE.

After many MySpace checking, plenty of drinking, taking pictures, and looking through past yearbooks, it was time to go to bed.

The one who I was going for was awake, while her best friend was passed out in the same bed we were in.

One thing led to another, and I got laid. It lasted a total of 30 seconds, I think. She was hot, fun, and was someone who didn't get too caught up in relationships (actually, I think she was/is still currently dating someone). She had dark, dark brown hair, blue eyes, the cutest face, and a nice ass. Spanish/Mexican too.

And, the girl next door...

life is a trip.

Edited by Steaming Bowel Movement(s), 28 October 2008 - 10:19 PM.

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#2 Chief Grizzly

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 01:45 AM

If I wanted to have a hand shandy on the internet, there's much better places I could go than Hitmanforum. Feel free to share more of your intimate moments with us, but I get the feeling I'm somehow breaking the law by reading about a sixteen year old's sexual experiences.
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#3 Foofighter

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 01:51 AM

Ok, ok, so you think just because I'm a little more drunk and emotionally torn up that I'm gonna like fucking open up about how me and Samantha use to fuck? Is that it? Huh!?
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#4 Mr.Reaper

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 02:08 AM

^LOL

wouldnt mind reading some tips on one night stand here :P
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absolution [ˌæbsəˈluːʃən]
n
1. the act of absolving or the state of being absolved; release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

#5 platinum baller

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 02:17 AM

One thing led to another, and I got laid. It lasted a total of 30 seconds, I think.


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Edited by platinum baller, 24 October 2008 - 02:18 AM.

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#6 Mr.Reaper

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 02:19 AM

hahaha i wank longer than that
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absolution [ˌæbsəˈluːʃən]
n
1. the act of absolving or the state of being absolved; release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

#7 Henrick

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 02:41 AM

Can you teach me how?
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#8 Mr.Reaper

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 04:27 AM

yeah ill drop round your house tomorrow :S lol
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absolution [ˌæbsəˈluːʃən]
n
1. the act of absolving or the state of being absolved; release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

#9 Jesus Christ Cheese Cake

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 04:43 AM

I once masturbated for over 30 minutes.


No fucking joke.
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#10 Mr.Reaper

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 04:47 AM

same but gets boring lol, i try to be quick :good:

i shouldnt laugh at this guy cuz at least his not a virgin, i am and HATING it
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absolution [ˌæbsəˈluːʃən]
n
1. the act of absolving or the state of being absolved; release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

#11 mantoro

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 07:02 AM

this thread is epic lulz
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#12 wH!zKey

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 07:11 AM

No, its really pubertal.
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#13 Tearacall

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 07:12 AM

same but gets boring lol, i try to be quick :good:

i shouldnt laugh at this guy cuz at least his not a virgin, i am and HATING it


Wanking gets boring!? i think there is something wrong with you mate.

I don't bother wanking unless i can get at least 20 mins in, you gotta enjoy it.

All i can say is; don't neglect the balls.
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#14 Captain Steve

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 08:51 AM

Masturbation is great; no one to upset and make you feel bad about crying afterwards.
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Hey guys, here are some screenshots of my lvl 31 Imperial character masturbating in a forest
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Captain Steve: Voted Biggest e-Penis 1 yrs. running. At least I'm endowed somehow.

#15 Dr. Mowinckel

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 09:06 AM

Well. I always miss something though. It's like drinking a pepsi, while knowing you could have a vodka.

Edited by Dr. Mowinckel, 24 October 2008 - 09:06 AM.

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#16 Heliophobic

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 10:34 AM

It lasted a total of 30 seconds

:laugh:

Do you think she even enjoyed it?
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#17 The Lawyer

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 10:49 AM

First time I was ever naked with a girl, I went down on her for a few seconds and got a hair in my mouth.
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#18 Bosola

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 11:59 AM

One thing led to another, and I got laid. It lasted a total of 30 seconds, I think

:laugh:


I might have to sig that...
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#19 HenryHill

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 12:11 PM

I had a nympho of a girlfriend this past. She's annoying now that she's my ex.
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#20 Average Joe

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Posted 24 October 2008 - 02:25 PM

One thing led to another, and I got laid. It lasted a total of 30 seconds, I think.

"Laid In 30 Seconds" :laugh:
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Posted Image - can't let go.
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WARNING: User exhibits addiction to post (re-)editing. Please wait 5 minutes while the above post is being type-raped to perfection.