Best NPC quotes


#103

“Don’t do it. You have a reason to live.” (Spotting a hanging 47)
“No, man. Not a contender for the next Olypmics.” (Spotting an accidental death body)
“Target suffering from Stormtrooper Syndrome.” (Missing too many shots)


#104

Heard a great one in Sapienza recently. It was a bit of conversation between man and woman near the flower shop:

“Have you ever heard about this game? The one about bald barcoded master assassin?”

And I was just passing through all bald and in a suit.

Sadly, I didn’t record it.


#105

Many happy returns! @Chef-assassin

@Serious_Pony - There’s one in Sapienza where a guy on his phone is playing a Hitman game. It’s a bit eerie considering the current circumstances but another one to watch out for. I’ll try and record it next time I’m in Sapi.


#106

“Is that Pit Bull?” Hahahahaha


#107

Remember mc hammer?


#108

Just 2 NPCs discussing that David Bateson should play The Icon instead of Bosco


#109

Apparently 47 doesn’t brush his toofs. Lol


#110


:joy:


#111

“i’m gonna boycott the movie until they cast bateson”

omfg the ai writers are brilliant, because this was essentially absolution in a nutshell. it would have been even funnier if the guy said he was gonna start an online petition to bring back david bateson

i love how self aware this game is. “it’s only a computer game! it’s only a computer game!” “act your age man! what are you, 46? 48?”


#112

Some guy on the forum got really offended by the Bateson dialogue lololol


#113

“COCK!”

I just randomly shout this out at work 2 or 3 times a day… my colleagues keep looking at me like I’m wierd… dunno why :grin:


#114

6:20 the priest says

“I’m on parole, oh shit!”


#115

#116

He must of had an iPhone.


#118

That quote seriously makes me want this one to happen when you’re caught trespassing:


#119

That would be awesome!

I love “Back To The Future” haha Biff is such a dumbass :joy:


#120

Speaking of quotes…

I don’t know if you ever seen the film “The Warriors” but I always thought it would be cool if guards would say “Come out and playyy-aayy!!” If/when 47 would be hiding as guards are looking for you.

(Minus the “Warriors” part.)
But just the guards saying “come out to play” like this…


#121

Encountered this recently but don’t remember which map it was exactly… I set up some explosions, and detonated them without killing anybody.

When listening to NPC reactions, one of them started chanting, “It’s just a game. It’s just a game. It’s just a game.” as if trying to calm himself. It was pretty funny. :slight_smile:


#122

I poisoned a guy with rat poison in Hokkaido and the chef at the counter said something really peculiar that I can’t remember anymore, but I’ve never laughed that much to any NPC quote. I wish I can recreate that, NPC quotes never stop being funny. :heart:


#123

I have not heard this line before, took me by complete surprise. WTF Io. It’s hilarious to think that a real person was paid to say this haha.