When I was a kid I felt like my ears were invicible. Now, I know I was just a stupid kid. Instead of enjoying my life I destroyed my ears on purpose. There is an known sentence in french which is "If the old could, if the young knew"
Yeah, but I feel sort of sorry because this awkwardness never disappear. I mean I know someone who doesn't look directly to me when I speak to him, but it not like me.
Sometimes I just stare at a table and talk to someone next to me like if I was on the phone. And a psychologist told me I was sick and an other guy asked me if I was depressed.
For example, at the university, there is a printer and when someone makes copy of a book I leave and I wait until he is gone, because I want to be a shadow and I can't ask to unknown people when they are done with their work. Add the fact that the printer is near the exit and I have to bump in almost every student leaving the library. It might be a detail but I also can't do proper copies of the book, so I have to print the book again and monopolize the printer during longer period.
I think I would have been happier if I knew more people and I wouldn't stop on so tiny details like that.
And university if kind of anonymous. You can have a few friends but everything changes everytime, so you can also never see them again because the next year they won't follow the same lesson. It's like the weather.