I have some experience about addicts and I agree with you Alek,addiction does not necessary make a bad person.
My stepfather is still drinking and my father used to drink when I was little..my father did do his job,but went usually straight to bar.Came home every night with different woman..We had moments together at that time when we were both warming our hands at front of fireplace because that house was so old that windows froze inside..
My mothers house was warm..But my stepfather being alcoholic and my mother short tempered if she drinked six beers fast..So there was family violence which went so bad that sometimes my mother took a knife..
So ti was moving back and forth..My fathers place I was alone,cold and there was not even a shower,,
My mother place I had to flee that situation night time and slept my backpack as my pillow,and my jacket at my blanket at the top of the stairway..right beside the elevator engine room..
I went to school from those places and I was not even a teenager..it just went on since I was little.
As an only child..i was no angel either..Pick pocketing etc..
Which was no wonder since no new friends adults let me play with them.
Because how my family were..so I had other kinds of friends..
My father tried to keep me discipline as he was taugth..whit belt..my stepfather by talking.
I got permission because of my stepfather to smoke when I was Twelve and to drink when I was 14..
"better here in front of us then behind the barn"..he said..And he apologized it in later years.
I think I was 15 when I moved to my grandmothers..
Friends came from same kind of circles..Broken homes..Then it went to trying smoke aspirin to alcohol,pills,sniffing glue etc.I dropped out of school because I was bullied at detention class.I was the only one who wanted to learn something..others took their pillows in school.i was an easy target because I was quiet...When I got my first unemployment money at 17 years old it went to booze debts.
I got kicked out of army when I started to hear awakening calls all night long,,
Lost my girlfriend (With who I had been from age of 14)at age of 21 to surgigal error that have been on her heart from the day she had been operated at birth..
I was mad to the world,god,government and myself for not being there..
The last thing she said was to my mother to look after me..
I let everything slide..Drank my driver license.let my apartment become a real drinking house(small 30m2 filled with 14 people passed who knows from what)and eventually lost it too..Did not pay bills..
Nothing else seemed to matter besides messing my own head..
I took two mental hospital visits..One rehab where it ended when the therapist started by asking"are you satisfied your life?"looking really down on me like I was not human at all..I said"Yes and sign me out"
Then they started descrrptng me Diazepams..That is the worst error they did..I have been hooked onto those as long as I remember..I don´t use them wrong..But it´s still something I just can´t throw to the garbage..
My new apartment was like some of you can imagine of the man who has burn every single bridge.
On the same building was addicts,alcoholics and people released from jail or going to jail..
I had more friends..When the years passed by I learned that even they had moral standards,someone who they loved and family who they loved..I learned a lot about people..And it was not just negative..
I drank almost everything,tried everything and was involved some really stupid things..
I managed to stop my alcoholism when one young lady started crying..It was one of the times things heated up and I took entire table and smashed it to dust..
I felt so ashamed..I thought I had done enough bad things..I closed my phone for two weeks..
I decided to get sober and with my own name..I did not need AA or clinic..
It was finally"that decision"..I crossed over the calendar days..After 8 months I felt that I had forgot something?
I had not automatically walked where the beers are..I did not leave my friends..It was opposite..But few of them stayed..But on sobering I was on my own..After a year i did not need calendar anymore..
I stayed sober seven years..I have been taking few on during the last year..But i don´t have the urge to get it..
I never judged my friends if they were drunk,I did not push them"get sober already"or anything like that.
If my friends called me then I said"Have fun"and I had water when they were drinking..
I feel sad that I threw away most of my life..
So many passed away heart failures,drinking,drugs even got killed..
Path might have been set,but it was me who made the decisions.
Not my parents,not my friends and not the enviroment..
I feel sad because there´s over 20 years of sorrow about lost family members,girlfriend and many other friends..
Now I have to deal with those things..Like I should at the beginning..
No drug or whatever can keep feelings locked forever,neither it solves problems..So don´t follow the path I chose..