Agent 47 is coming to kill you! How do you stay alive?


Well couple of things…

  1. 47 could just leave you and you would die. Yes you have years of food in your panic room, but it’s not finite, and you’d stink and be generally really unhealthy after a month unless you want to let a water supply in, in which case he poisons it.

  2. the hundreds of lighters and candles… I can see an opening there.


Well we would have a ton of food to last YEARS and water. If there would somehow be a fire (we’re in a panic room and came prepared. We have fire extinguishers and tons of water.) we can use some of the water to bathe too.

Plus if the ICA put a contract out, we would be in the panic room that day. I don’t think the ICA would have a contract out for a year once we became sanctioned targets. Not only is that unprofessional but once the contract is out, 47 is known for getting the job done swiftly and efficiently. Waiting a year or more is not “swift” lol and with all the precautions I took, 47 could NOT get the job done this time.

MISSION FAILED and his reputation, crushed


Phone failure


Plus, I did say we were in a panic room. It should go without saying that we have everything we would need to survive for a couple years. Food, water, soap, toilet paper, medical supplies, emergency kits, etc.


I’m Big Boss, the greatest soldier in history. 47 should fear me.

And if he out-manourves me, I’ll get him talking about cloning. We both have some experience with that.

“So, you’re a clone? My sons are clones, too! Clones really do suck, don’t they?”

(OK, that back-up plan needs work.)

Plan C. Surprise CQC, motherfrackaaaa! :smile:

I just need a semi-naked picture of Andrea Martinez or Layla Stockton for the front of my box.


Didn’t you say you respected Solid Snake at the end of MGS4? :thinking:


And I do respect that little jerk who tried to kill me on multiple occasions. I respected him enough to school his ass in the fine art of close-quarters-combat one last time. lol

Actually, Solid Snake is my favourite MGS character, but that doesn’t fit my narrative right now, so sssh. :yum:


You’re evading 47 and you brought fire extinguishers!!! :grin:


Lol well it’s not like he can get inside anyway

  1. I’d make sure all my bodyguards are scowling, bald men in black suits with red ties.
  2. I would make sure to purchase an industrial meat grinder designed to shred cows into hamburger meat. (You know, in case I get hungry.)
  3. I’d pay my aforementioned bodyguards to make constant reference to said meat grinder at all times.
  4. Spend my time waiting for 47 by leaning into and gazing lovingly at the enormous, functioning meat grinder I purchased, with no bodyguards in sight.

In the insanely unlikely event that 47 somehow manages to sneak past my many guards, I’d ask if I could scan his barcode to see what comes up as a last wish.


Don’t get lured by coins. Life is more precious than pennies.


I’d hide in my panic room if I had :rofl:


distract him with contracts - lol


I think someone worked out that the barcode is a bag for dildos at (I’m not joking, something to do with a barcode that appears at the end of a trailer for Absolution).


I can only think of cheap solutions such as being Darth Vader or Master Chief or a xenomorph or something. My first thought was decidedly odd, that being Jar Jar Binks might confuse him so much he gives up but actually, of course, it would simply annoy him so much that he doesn’t bother with SA and shoots me in the face.


Your panic room hasn’t windows or vents. That means oxygen sooner or later will end. And if you have some kind of vent, imo 47 will find a way to poison it (like in Nightcall).


Oh, we have a ten year supply of oxygen tanks as well lmao


Blend in with the crowd, like dressing to fit with a group of tourists or a band of musicians. Maybe even try to compromise his disguise by telling security/police he has a gun, or yelling it out to the crowd. And even if he frisked and doesn’t have one, I’d be long gone.


Oh well for me my tactic comes form Arthurian legend



47 coming for you? Here are some important steps to take.

1 - Take a nice long relaxing bath.

2 -Drink some of your favorite wine. Hell, might as well get drunk.

3 - Smoke the most expensive weed you can find to calm your nerves.

4 - Stand up or sit down, whatever is easier. Then put your head between…and kiss your ass goodbye!