Diana falls over Vidal: Diana ! Are you alright? Diana : Is that you, God? Vidal: What? Diana : It’s just, you sound a lot more like Vidal than I expected.
Diana : How would you like your coffee? Vidal: As dark and as bitter as my soul. Diana , shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!
Edwards: So I have made the decision to trust you. Diana: A horrible decision, really.
Marcus: Carl won’t wake up, what do I do? Alexa : Did you try kicking him? Marcus: Yes. Alexa : I’m out of ideas.
Carl: What are you writing? Alexa : The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I’m letting them know it’s private information. Marcus, looking over Alexa 's shoulder: This just says ‘fuck around and find out’ in calligraphy.
Philo: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it. Phoebe: Just rip the bandage off. Philo: It’s Michelle. Phoebe: Put the bandage back on.
Philo: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited Phoebe: If? Michelle: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.
Philo: Hey, Phoebe? Can I get some dating advice? Phoebe: Just because I’m with Michelle doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
Philo: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Phoebe: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Philo: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Michelle: Edible.
Phoebe: Why are you on the floor? Philo: I’m depressed. Philo: Also I was stabbed, can you get Michelle, please?
Your prompt: Jack: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut… Robert: You would eat yourself? Jack: I wouldn’t even question it.
Your prompt: Jack: You’re right. Robert: That’s… That’s an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Your prompt: Jack: Robert and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s- Robert: Sentences. Jack: Don’t interrupt me.
Your prompt: Jack: I’m incredibly fast at math. Robert: Alright, what’s 30x17? Jack: 47 Robert: That’s not even close. Jack: But it was fast.
Diana: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Grey: Certainly, I’m as sure as I am honest!
47: In that case, we’re definitely lost.
Diana: WHY. why did you give 47 a KNIFE?!
Grey: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.
Diana: Now I feel unsafe!
Grey: I’m sorry.
Grey: … would you like a knife?
loved this thread to pieces, so i decided to generate some quotes between, what i like to call them, the chaotic four . please enjoy
47: You know those things will kill you, right?
Lucas, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Diana, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Olivia: Nods while eating raw cookie dough
Olivia, 47, and Diana are sitting on a bench
Lucas: Why do you guys look so sad?
Olivia: Sit down with us so we can tell you. Lucas sits down
47: The bench is freshly painted.
Olivia, banging on the door: 47! Open up!
47: Well, it all started when I was a kid…
Diana: No, they meant-
Lucas: Let them finish.
47: Screams
Lucas: Screams louder to assert dominance
Olivia: Should we do something?!
Diana, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
47: Dammit, Lucas!
Lucas: What?! It wasn’t me!
47: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Olivia!
Olivia: Not me either.
47: Oh…Then who set the house on fire?
Diana: whistles
47: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Lucas: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Olivia: I got distracted about halfway through.
Diana: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
47: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Lucas: Not if they consent to it.
Olivia: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Diana: YES?!?
and finally i wanted to do one between the partners and the constant . again enjoy these chaotic old bastards
Marcus: Gently taps table
Carl: Taps back
Alexa: What are they doing?
Arthur: Morse code.
Marcus: Aggressively taps table
Carl: Slams hands down YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
Marcus: Why is Carl so sad?
Alexa: They took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes
Marcus: And…?
Carl: They got Arthur.
Marcus: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Carl: That’s the most hopeful thing I’ve ever heard.
Alexa: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Arthur: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Marcus: Shit.
Carl: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Alexa: OH MY GOD ARTHUR FELL OFF!!!
Marcus: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Carl: Plane tickets?
Arthur: Concert tickets?
Alexa: Prostitution?
Marcus, holding their broken frames: Glasses.
Marcus: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Carl: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Marcus: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ARTHUR WITH ME
Alexa, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Blue Lotus Emissary: We need to distract these guys
Red Dragon Negotiator: Leave it to me
Red Dragon Negotiator: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Chief of Police, Blue Lotus Member, and Lee Hong: Immediately begin arguing
Zhun, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.