Best NPC quotes


‘Thank of something clever… what can I say that’s clever… YOU’RE TRESSPASSING ASSHOLE’


I dunno, for some reason I just find it funny when 47 plays the drums with this deadpan expression and Jordan Cross says “Yea man, that was cool! You’re like some kind of machine aren’t you?” That whole opportunity is insane and I love it.



“Uuugh agh… I have a family!”

Edit: Please tell me people have heard this one? XD


This thread makes me miss the serious tone from Hitman: Contracts. This game is supposed to be a “spy thriller”, but sometimes it feels more like a comedy.


„It’s just a video game… It’s just a video game. “

Said by a panicking civilian during a killing spree.


During Landslide I knocked out the priest and took his clothes. I then dragged him down the stairs and put him right behind the church worker who looks at the picture on the wall and I go hide. The church worker then does the sign of the cross, and turns around to say, “Holy f***! Put your clothes on! This isn’t a f*****’ orgy!” (Paraphrased since this happened about a week ago.)


“This man is possessed by the devil! I have seen it before! Get him an exorcist!” Or something like that.

Love this thread btw the dialogue keeps me going in moments of darkness during this game :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


That is so awesome I wish you had video!


Lol yeah, it definitely works for that suit too.




My all-time favorite: “Gary Busey just hugged me and said ‘see you at home’. How does he know where I live?”


In Bangkok, placing napoleon and picking him up multiple times in front of the two guards outside 47’s room I heard something along the lines of: “That kind of behaviour would be okay if you were a sexy nun dressed in skin tight leather… but you’re not. So stop.”


Can anyone recall a line with “commie, hippie, pinko, queer” being thrown at 47 when entering combat or being spotted subduing? Caught me off guard haha, another one where a guard says, “you’re going down you BALD ASSHOLE!” The conviction in this npcs voice is what gets me, not the line itself.


I heard a great new one on Sapienza the other day. A civilian NPC stumbled on some bodies I had sloppily killed and left in the open and described it as something like Colonel Kurtz’s summer camp.


I started the elusive last night dressed as Santa and the guard outside 47 suite said “Hey can I sit in your lap”

I’ve mentioned this on another thread but when subduing Novikov bodyguard but just letting him struggle he said “Come on or hurry up I’ve got to do a number 2” or something close to that.


Better safe than sorry. Get it? Because you are security.


The ice cream parlor in Sapienza is full of gold.

“Ooh, I like the pink. Whenever I see pink I have to say it four times. Pink, pink, pink, pink. Like that. I’ll get the pink because it reminds me of cotton candy, and this little skirt I wore when I was a little girl. I’ll get the pink pink pink pink. The pink pink pink pink.”

“Can we hurry up already? We don’t have all day!”


when in combat “agh, you bitch! i’m gonna get you for this!”