Best NPC quotes


The best part is that you’re disguised as a priest! :rofl:


I got into combat with a cop close to me and another a little farther back. The one close to me runs into me and we get into that auto fist fight. The far cop yells out “you get him, Steve.” Then I dodge the punch and punch him first. Then the far cop yells out again “maybe next time, Steve.”


Edit: found the video


when the himmapan hotel guards are fighting me “i can do this, I CAN DO THIS!”


“Whats cooking, good Looking?“ Random Woman in Sapienza


This quote from Novikov, worthy of a microphone that is for sure:

EDIT: While I’m at it, the “I wonder what’s on TV tonight?” quote from that same video kills me.


I’m not sure if it was in Paris or Sapienza but a guard in combat mode said “I can’t handle this stress”


I remember when I watched this vid, that one came totally from the bushes. :smiley: Best one ever.


How about when you have someone in a submission hold and you don’t either break his neck or knock him out.
I think he says “can we get this over with, I have somewhere to be” or something along those lines.


In the first Hope mission in Hitman: Absolution, if you stand next to any woman for more than 5 seconds after she stops to look at you, she’ll have a panic attack and run away to a police officer (which in turn makes you “hunted”). One of the most common lines are:



Like with Trevor in GTA V?


I was playing the bahadur dexterity and I heard a couple of gems. The first one made me laugh aloud and is the reason I play this game.

soilder: any idea who the perp is
vendor: He is in some sort of costume I dont know what the hell is going on, i mean nobody is what they appear to be anymore.

also because of the combat change I get to hear alot more of the chatter I had one of the soilders say that I was shooting like a woman. But then after a couple folks went down someone else said I was proficient.

“that son of a bitch is shooting like a woman.”


They should tell that to Lilly Dukes!

Which reminds me, I heard something similar - I was disguised as a bodyguard in Landslide having killed Abiatti, and the receptionist/PA in the Town Hall discovered the body and came to tell me about it. I’m paraphrasing here but it went something like this:

“Oh my god, oh my god… I found a guy lying over there, I think he’s dead. What should I do? Help!”

After a few moments of silence…

“…Why aren’t you listening to me? Is it because I am a woman? PIG!”.


Was in consulate in the bathroom and the guard said he’s in the bathroom pull up your pants. I swear. Lol


Always catches me off guard when I get called some form of retarded… In the game also :wink:


The way the guards pronounce retard in this game is so fucking stupid. “Duhhhhh, are you some sort of reh-tard?”


Awesome movie - when it came out. Kind of dated now though.
The lines are corny now.
But fight choreography is still damn good.


That’s done on purpose. There was a movie that had said it like that and it’s being used from that movie. It’s somewhat an Easter egg.


Haha yeah it is…
But I don’t care, I still watch it even today from time to time. Classic!


I just got another funny one that I never heard before.

I kill someone and a guard sees me. But I’m able to hide the body in a bin and then hide in there too before he makes it to the kill location. When he arrives he yells out

“Where’d that guy go? Command, there’s a guy killing people. He’s wearing a black suit and red tie. Looked like a real lady’s man. Or a man’s man, if that’s your cup of tea”.

I’ll see if I can salvage the video because I paused it in the middle of it. I’ll try to edit it together.

Edit: got it. lol


The humour does seem over the top at times, given the situation.