Hitman Moments IRL

#82

The smell from your massive shit probably subdued him and allowed you to escape.

1 Like

#83

today i was in a room alone with my close friend, and he was facing away from me. i actually had a measuring tape in my pocket at the time, so i took it out and STRANGLED him with the tape, completely crushing and DESTROYING his windpipe until he suffocated and died. i dragged his body to a closet and put his corpse inside. the police still haven’t found him

EPIC Hitman IRL moment!! :sunglasses:

7 Likes

#84

Damn cake, you seemed nicer than that. Nice SA rating though.

3 Likes

#85

Okay, this is epic.

1 Like

#86

Once they’re in the closet they can never be found, woks in Hitman anyway. I’d hate to know what you do to people you don’t like :neutral_face:.

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#87

Very morbid and off-taste. But I couldn’t help but think about HITMAN…

1 Like

#88

Yeah, I thought of the exploding pen from the undying…

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#89

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHWOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPP…

DANNNNN!

She’s lucky this wasn’t one of those Insta-Combat things…
:rofl:

4 Likes

#90

Looks like my neighborhood is turning into Whittleton Creek lol

47… is that you? :joy:

(Sorry for the quality. This was out my window and pretty far away, had to zoom in)

4 Likes

#91

If I told you my real life hitman moment I would lose my SA rating bc then you will know that it wasnt an accident :smile:

Jk

3 Likes

#92

I was fed to a hippopotamus in Colombia too

1 Like

#93

Anytime I see a chandelier or comparable hanging heavy object, before I can catch myself, I immediately imagine shooting the chain or rope keeping it suspended and dropping it on someone standing beneath it. My wife actually recognizes the look I apparently get on my face when I do, and she can tell when I’ve just pictured it.

3 Likes

#94

I image it like this :smile: :

Soldier =chandelier/hanging heavy object.

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#95

Whatever you do stay far away from the house where that nice old lady makes those muffins…

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#96

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#99

I’ll offer up my recent pseudo-Hitman experience

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#100

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away but an apple in your face will kill you.”
Jacksepticeye, Totally Accurate Battle Simulator #5.

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#101

Someone locked my in a morgue cabinet and attempted to harvest my organs until a bald man let me out. I could only pay him back with some non descript key card. I hope it helped him

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#102

I work in software support and everytime the code for the remote software contains 47 I giggle internally.
And smile.
And think that I need help.
:neutral_face:

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#103

Every time I see the number 47 in real life I hear Benjamin Travis’s voice in my mind saying “47…I’ll be damned…”

Litterly no joke

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