If 47 was assigned to kill you, what would be the ideal way he does it?


#62

Ah ok, the thread starter did not write this? @PedroRBarreraG why did you change almost everything in the title?

it’s not ok to do that just because you can.

I’m changing it back to the original.


#63

And this is why I edit just spelling and Categories :stuck_out_tongue:


#64

Rough sex…REALLY rough sex


#65

Why?

Not okay.

You changed it for your own liking.

I’m pretty sure everybody here knows with hitman he means agent 47.

Sorry, i’m not trying to be a ah* , i don’t want us regulars to abuse our badge :smiley:.


#66

With 47? Sign me up.


#67

While I’m in the tub with my rubber ducky and tin foil hat. 47 would be there with the toaster. Shocking.


#68

Dude, I hate that image you posted. It’s in comic sans :angry:

Also, it did say use capital letters for the first word and all key words in a title, not use capital letters for every word in a title.


#69

Car explosion that simultaneously drops a chandelier on my head.


#70

A speedrunner’s wet dream.


#71

Off topic post follows: [spoiler]

You are almost entirely excused. I indeed find it a bit of a dick move to bring up evidence regarding the possibility of a title having multiple capital letters, to then change it back because (the following I actually find it to be poetical justice) a misunderstanding caused by the fact that you jumped into conclusions for a sentence I wrote which was never ment for you or JJ or anyone else except Spoderman. And yes, he two of you seem to be pretty square headed about the fact that I wrote “because I can” which FYI was a direct trolling/messing with good Spoderman for the fact that by now he should be a regular and thus able to do that, but due to flags (that I do not entirely agree were in place because the spam was low) he does not have the right; and this was neve ment to be a justification. In fact, last I checked, adding emojis to a sentence somehow made it felt less serious. Seems it didn’t work.

Final thing that makes me laugh. If “you” think that everyone here understands Agent 47 when they read the word Hitman, then you are basically saying that the title shouldn’t have been edited because of your taste/mood/interest. How is this different for the capitalizing I did for aesthetical purposes then? And please, don’t come with some “I was fair” and “you were disrespectful”. I get how I much likely disrespected the OP (to everyone’s eyes here anyhow) because I edited aesthetics (the form, not the content) which I thought was correct, and this I say because previous posts of mine and of others HAVE BEEN edited to capitalize all letters with zero complaints from anyone… So in the end of it; it was all due to past experience here… which means we should blame the system and not ourselves. :scream:

I encourage for the 3-4 of us to follow the discussion on PM unless you feel it necessary for the public to read something that will follow. This debate is getting big enough already for one topic not corresponding with it. [/spoiler].


#72

Don’t, stop.

Bites apple


#73

I didn’t flag anybody. I barely do.


#74

Spoderman was flagged by the fact he spammed a “triggered” gif on several threads, which may have been interpreted as spam (but I disagree with the fact that it may have been considered an intentional offense to those suffering from seizures). Without that flag he would be a regular. And the least I care for is who flagged him. Whoever did had good reasons.


#75

I didn’t spam it…

I use memes/gifs if they’re relevant, and that triggered one was.


#76

I should start a petition to become regular :stuck_out_tongue:


#77

Instead of abuse your regular status, you could ask the thread starter if he/she could change Hitman to Agent 47.

This doesn’t mean you have to do the same to others, not many threads have capital letters in every word on this forum.

If you don’t like a title, ask or recommend changes to the thread starter.

I don’t flag people unless they are very abusive or very inappropriate, like the guy who said he liked to torture animals.


#78

Thread should be moved to “Now I know my abcs”


#79

im working at mcdonalds part-time so he could easily throw me in the fryer or make the fryer explode in my face, mcdonalds is an accident ridden place, he could also poison anything that I have for break as you can have mcdonalds meals for break :joy:


#80

Why would you prefer a painful death as that? :stuck_out_tongue:

My death would be in Paris, agent 47 trigger the fireworks, i’m on the balcony to watch the beautiful fireworks and agent 47 shoots me in the head with the silenced sniper rifle :smiley:.


#81

I wake at 7:00am. Stumble to the bathroom to relieve the previous nights bountiful consumption of alcohol, 47 cleverly hidden in the hamper behind me. I look down through blurry and crusted eyes into the toilet noticing it is empty and dry. Damn, the water is off again. Just as 47 emerges from the hamper with my 3 day old underwear clinging to his left shoulder intent on drowning me in the toilet, I slide to my right and empty my bladder into the sink. Fate was on my side.

I dress for work and prepare my lunch, placing it carefully in my briefcase so as not to smoosh my crab salad sandwich. Luckily for me, 47 does not have a briefcase he can boobytrap and switch out with mine.

I take the elevator down to the ground floor of my high end apartment building and traverse the brightly lit lobby. My head down, I hear a “CRACK!” from above. In the reflective marble floors I see the grand chandelier plummeting from the ceiling. I leap back just in time to avoid being killed by accident, not noticing 47 on the 2nd floor balcony slipping a smoking Silverballer back under his jacket.

I gather myself and continue to exit the building. It’s only 5 blocks to the office so I typically walk every day. I stop for my morning coffee at the comer cafe every day. The coffee’s not great but the people are wonderful so I feel a sense of loyalty to the place. As I approach the counter to place my order I notice a strange bald man looking back at me expressionless. “How may I help you?” he says in a deep, mono tone voice. I glacé quickly at his nametag. “Tobias huh? You must be new here.” I say. “I’ll have a coffee, 3 cream and 3 sugars please.” As he prepares my drink I notice they must have changed the brand of creamer as the container had an unfamiliar label. “Good day, Tobias. See you tomorrow.” “I look forward to it.” he replies.

As I exit the cafe and step onto the sidewalk, I hear the screeching of tires. I turn to see a Sapienza Flower truck swerving to avoid a bicyclist in the road. The truck crashes into the light pole right I front of me. Startled, my briefcase and coffe fall to the ground. Damn. No coffee for me today.

As I approach my office building I stop to greet my friend Ted at the scooter shop next door. Suddenly, the display scooter out front inexplicably burst into flames. Ted dives and pushes me to safety just as the scooter explodes into a giant fireball. Whew! That was close.

Completely rattled and looking more than a bit disheveled, I enter the office building almost in a trance like state, totally unaware of the puddle on the carpet in front of me. Suddenly a coworker shouts “STOP!” I freeze in place looking puzzled. A live electrical wire lay sparking in the puddle. I glance to my left and see maintenance worker with his back to me. I angrily slap him on his bald head just above his strange tatoo. “What the hell man! You trying to kill somebody?” I shout. Then he picks up his screwdriver and silently heads for the door. As he exits, he turns to look at me. Strange, I thought. He looks just like Tobias from the cafe. If they’re not twins, I’d swear he was a clone.

I finally make it to my office and sit down at my desk. After a few deep breaths and a moment of motionless silence, I switch on my computer. Odd. It’s not working properly. And what’s this strange dongle plugged into the side? Has someone been in my office?

Frustrated, I open the glass doors that lead to my private balcony, needing to have a cigarette. I light up and gaze across the cityscape. I notice a glint coming from the rooftop across the way. Suddenly pain. Excruciating pain in my chest. I collapse to the ground. A bullet from a silenced Jäger rifle has pierced my heart. I somehow scramble to my feet, seemingly experiencing no affects of being shot. I hear our building security yelling over the radios. They somehow were able to see through the walls of our building and knew exactly where the shot came from. The rushed toward the sniper, firing pistols from street level, hitting him multiple times from 8 stories below. Not only is our security team able to use X-ray vision and sense the origin point of silenced sniper fire but they are also able to fire their pistols at supersonic speeds and with pin point accuracy.

ZIP! I’m shot again and fall to the ground. I quickly get up a second time. What kind of nerf gun is that guy using? He’s certainly no elite assassin using equipment like that. Perhaps he’s just not able to customize his weapons the way he’d like.

Finally, a third shot, this time to the head. I’m finally down for good. All goes black. A moment later, a bright, warm light appears in the sky. I’m floating gently toward it. I look down and see my lifeless body lying on the balcony. Peculiar, I thought to myself. There’s almost no blood.

My path toward the light is bringing me near the point of the sniper fire. I see the bald man again. As I drift closer I begin to hear a woman’s voice speaking to him seemingly from no where. He calmly says to her in that deep monotone voice, “Diana, the job is done. Wire the money to my account.” The woman’s voice responds, “I’m sorry 47, will points be okay instead?” “POINTS!!!” he shouts. "POINTS? What the fuck am I going to do with points? Is this a game to you, Diana? You’re all up in my head talking to me when I’m trying to listen to important conversations, distracting me from trying to do my job, you won’t give me a simple briefcase to transport my gear, which by the way is mostly crap and can’t be upgraded. And now you’re telling me there’s no cash? Your gonna pay me in fucking POINTS?!?! What the hell am I gonna do with points???

I’m almost to the light now. The man’s voice grows fainter and fainter but I can still hear the angry tone of his epic ranting. I smile wryly as the warm light envelops me"That" I recall to myself, “reminds me of my time on Hotman Forum.”

Fade to white.