Sessions with Lafayette (Serious Discussions Only) - Venting Thread

Sorry I know it’s late but I just thought I would check in on this thread.

The height thing is one of those things that people at school will make fun of you for. I had a bit of a rough time in my school days and especially when I was 14 I learned to be self-aware and expect that people have their own issues going on and they feel that their issues are deflected by taking the piss out of you. I know that isn’t very helpful but what I would suggest is coming to terms with the fact that not everyone is gonna like who you are and that’s completely fine, if everyone likes you you are doing something wrong. I wouldn’t meddle too much with the diet either, as long as you have a tight group of friends who you can have a good time with you don’t need to worry about the bullies who are likely more anxious than you are about stuff.

Regarding this girl I get what you mean. I had a couple of crushes in school who I knew i couldn’t get with but I couldn’t stop thinking about them. As long as you don’t put the girl on a pedestal and make them out to be some queen then it’s all good. There are plenty of people out there and there is no point forcing yourself into trying to get with people because you will never truly like them anyway. Relationships in my eyes should be an effortless and joyful experience and I wouldn’t worry too much. As long as you show you are there for her then you are firstly being a nice person and secondly showing that she always has you to fall back on but don’t actively try and force anything.

I hope this helps I don’t know your situation well but you just gotta try not to worry about stuff. The universe will always correct itself :slight_smile:

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I for one can speak about the height thing.
I can say that it could always make me uncomfortable in certain situations but i learned to adapt.

Portray your inner confidence and be proud of yourself. Always have a firm back and carry yourself showing that you love yourself. Then you’ll never be uncomfortable again.

Don’t worry about small comments here and there, bullies are everywhere and will always make comments to impress their surroundings are to press you down.

I could go on and write 10 pages about my encounters with bullies in school, and these were people were 4-6 years older than me. It was only because I didn’t have confidence and I let them press me down more.
I’d say 8/10 if you show them a firm back with your confidence they’ll leave you alone.

Just love yourself, realise that we all are different and that we all go through individuall struggles.
Hope everything works out.

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Hiya. Not easy, is it?! It passes, though, it gets easier.

I got bullied horribly at school, I really feel for you, I did some of the stuff you wrote like hanging around with girls! I can’t offer a magic wand, children can be utterly horrible but it’s mostly that they all have insecurities. Find those who are good to you and be good to them. Height is not a problem. Really it isn’t. In the Grand Scheme of Things it’s not an issue. You are what you are and that is fine, anyone thinks it isn’t then they’re not worth the effort it takes to get upset. Remember school is a bit artificial; lots of people forced into proximity results in friction - but for a limited time.

Firm advice already given on the internet morons. They’re morons. This is what the internet does - humanity can be most unpleasant and online is where some of the worst things come out. Seriously - it’s THEM not you. Think of the way you wrote what you wrote just there and compare it to abusive messages. Which of those do you want to be? Which do you think others want? Obvious, isn’t it? Be cool with that - your writing shows what you are and it’s thumbs-up all the way. Keep a distance, though, decide what to post with a bit of care, you might be excited or passionate and write something about whatever-it-is but if someone rains on your parade that can hurt so don’t post everything you think or feel. It’s still THEM, though, always bear that in mind.

As for crushes . . . they can be quie hard. Who did I get fixated over? My physics teacher, Miss Bellhouse, is the one I remember most. Found it a struggle to concentrate! Then there was Jackie, Catherine, Karen, Sandra . . . changed over the years. Jackie and Catherine were quite good friends and as I look back now that was what was important. Just try and be good to them if you can.

It’s all normal, what you wrote. That is not to demean it, emotions are very strong things, especially when they’re developing. When you’re a cynical middle-aged man like me it takes quite a lot more to get worked up. Point here is it changes and passes.

I find this forum pretty good compared with others. Most seem fairly willing to act honourably. The main social media sites? Forget it, it’s just other people trying to extract money from you and/or tell you how you’re supposed to live.

All the best to you.

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Iwe been constantly anxious, scared and afraid for absolutely no reason for the past few evenings. I have nothing to be afraid of, but i still am. This paired with my insomnia and problems with eating, really makes sleeping hard

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Yeah, just the evenings. The only way for me to get rid of the fear is to be on my phone and watch youtube or something to get my mind out of the “Freeroam”

So an update on this. Talked to the police, they have managed to catch the guy who did this. It turns out that the guy would actually go on and rob and assault another delivery driver just 2 days after he robbed me. I don’t know the details but apparently that robbery was far more violent, so it seems I might of got of lucky.

Basically, if this goes to court, I might have to attend as a witness. But there is a good chance it won’t go to court, ironically they might give him a plea deal, meaning they drop the charges of his assault against me if he pleads guilty against the assault of the other driver. I guess we’ll see.

I do feel mostly fine after the encounter. It happened so quickly, it is barely a memory anymore. In actuality, the pizza chain I work for is opening another store in a nearby town, and because of that, the address the assault happened will actually be transferred to the new store, meaning I will never have to deliver to that street or anywhere in the town again.

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Glad to hear they caught him. Even more glad to hear that you seem to be doing well with it. Stay strong friend. :sunglasses::+1:

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By the looks of it, I’m probably failing my mid year exams. My folks are holidaying in Malaysia right now, so I probably have until Thursday until my electronics are taken away. I’ll hang about until then.

On another note, I just quit Reddit, deleted the app on my phone. Had a hell of a time there, but I’ve got urgent fish to fry.

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I don’t like talking about this, but I need to get this off my chest: I’ve reached the point where I’ve lost all motivation in life. There’s basically nothing that interests me anymore. It’s been years since I truly felt happy. My social life is non existant, I’ve never had a love interest. All I do is sit in my bedroom, browse the internet, play video games and watch movies. That’s it. Two years ago, I thought everything was going to change because I decided to study game development. I thought I was going to make friends and have a more social life because everybody has the same interest (games), but in reality, nothing has changed because I’m too socially awkward.
Everyday when I wake up, I wonder why I should get out of bed anymore because my life is shit anyway. My biggest fear is that I’ll never have the courage to change anything about it, and that my life will remain the same forever. I’m scared that I’ll never have a girlfriend and that I’ll have to spend my entire life alone.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I think I need help, but I don’t see how anyone can help me change.

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I am not a counsellor or therapist. I am, though, autistic. First, I’d suggest there is probably no reason for you to change. I’d also suggest there are people out there who are going to “get” it - although I am not going to write some long thing about how it’s all ice cream and lollipops. Life - all too often - isn’t and being autistic is often very difficult.

However, that does not define everything in the world. Maybe you’re not autistic but the autistic community is, at least, a community where social awkwardness is normal. Such places exist and can offer something. Microsoft have programmes aimed at hiring autistic people, the world is starting to catch on to the fact that some people don’t conform to “normal”, whatever the fuck “normal” means.

Most people feel like you do from time to time, some try and cover it but it’s normal - and okay in an odd but very true sense - to have the feelings you describe. It’s okay to feel down, to have issues. Well, it’s not okay but it’s certainly something that’s part of life and does not mark you out as abnormal.

The one thing that is worth trying is exploring who you can talk to, someone who’ll actually listen.

Best wishes.

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Right, I better warm up the counselling training I did a few years back.

It seems to me that you have trapped yourself in a sentry loop which seems eternal and inescapable. You feel constrained to step out of your comfort zone by an invisible barrier of fear of social rejection but hate this “comfort zone” as it is. You seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. In order to break free from this loop you need to get over a certain threshold of caring what other people think which (I of all people know) is a hard obstacle to leap. Basically what I am saying is that you can’t passively let the world go by as that will result in you falling further down this rabbit hole of unhappy. Gentle steps need to be made by you to try and either look for people experiencing the same issues as you and find comfort in the relatability or step out and find a hobby and meet people with similar interests. There is bound to be at least one person in these two fields that you can bond with and find comfort in talking with. Sorry if this doesn’t help but I wanted to give my 2 cents as I am concerned for you. Best Wishes

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I am writing just to speak out. The mood is terrible, I can not even play normally.
Yesterday I accidentally hurt my parrot. It happened so quickly and unexpectedly, he has been with me for many years, he moves freely around the apartment and I have never had any problems keeping track of him. But yesterday I did not notice him on the couch and a bit pressed him by leg. He quickly break away and fortunately I didn’t seem to have inflicted any serious damage. In general, he moves normally and behaves more or less normally, but I’m still worried about him.
Yesterday he was a little under stress, today he looks better. The thing that worries me is that his voice has changed a bit, as if it is difficult for him to speak. Today he speaks better, but still not perfect. I really hope that it’s just the effects of stress, rather than physical injury.
The worst part is that in my city there are no veterinarians involved in birds. The best thing I can do now is an online consultation, it is possible to do some tests and follow the recommendations. And hope that everything will be fine.
I haven’t felt so bad for a long time, I can’t imagine my life without my parrot .

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Let’s hope he’ll pull through and be fine soon :heart:
It wasn’t intentional so don’t be too mad at yourself. It’s like you said, mistakes never happened in years but sometimes these things happen, even when you’re reminding yourself constantly to be careful. Hopefully, all will be better soon :slight_smile:

Hope you’re also feeling better now after sharing this. We got you.

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Thank you friend, I appreciate your support. I definitely should have been more attentive…

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It’s hard not to worry, but I try to think about the good. Today, his voice sounds better (but still a bit different than usual) and I did not notice deviations from his usual behavior. I hope all will be ok. Thanks for the support.

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I’m going to share a…pretty complicated story.
So I was visiting my family and old/childhood friends. Since life has happened, some of those friends are married, some of them have kid(s) even; but not my best friend.
We haven’t spoke in almost 7 years (the reason of why is not important), but had some intel about each other’s life. I’ve decided to go check on him, to see if he’s interested to hanging out or just to close a chapter in our lives.
Turns out, he was really happy to see me but as always, he was just too proud to contact me. (He was always like this, but in general he is the type of guy, who’s going to save your ass, whatever trouble you got into.No questions asked.) We spent two days to somewhat catching up, so we decided, while I’m in the country, let’s go on a boys trip, just like when we were teens.
We packed our bags, I screwed up the room reservation (I’ve reserved a room with a king sized bed, instead of a room with two beds.), but whatevs.
Everything was fine until second day’s night. We were drinking. A lot. We ended up discussing our sex lives. This was a little new, since back then, we really did not talked about these kind of stuff. I mean we had a talk about masturbating habits; our junks , we even compared them at one drunken night.
But this time, we really went into it. I shared some photos of my latest ex; he did the same and we told our stories with them. Then drank even more, because ‘you can’t live with or without them’.
Later on, somehow we managed to crawl back to the hotel, and I went to take a shower to sober up a bit, if possible. When I finished, I laid on the bed and waited for him to finish too; then go to get some sleep.
He came out, got in the bed and we continued to talk. Ever since I know him and when we had a sleepover, after light out we always had a ‘deep’ talk in the dark. I guess it was easier to open up or whatever. So it happened again. Mostly why I stopped to seeing him in the last 7 years; he understood it and apologized (for the first time, since I know him) and my problem has started:
He told me, he missed me as much as I did, but he does not has his ways with words, like I do. Then proceeded to telling me, he still cares about me. He finished all this with a kiss on my cheek.
I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the ‘untold’ emotions but in response I hugged him…as a lying drunk dude can hug someone. He hugged me back…and hell gotten loose.
To avoid getting moderated: we …did what men can do to each other in a sexual way. Then we fell asleep.
The next day we packed and while we were driving back home, he tried to bring it up, but I knocked it off with lame jokes. The thing is: I enjoyed it, but it should not have happened. It’s like something you don’t do to your best friend. I don’t think I am gay, nor is he. Maybe we are bisexual. (considering what happened) when we said goodbye to each other, we exchanged contacts to stay in touch. Then I traveled back home.
We talked since that several times,and he knows, that I have a problem with what happened on that night; and tries to talk about it…but usually when he starts to talk about it, I cut it and with find an excuse to stop the whole conversation.
My problem is:
*I/we did something… not normal
*because of the reason above, I’m scared to lose him -yet again
*not to mention, I think it was good…as in a one night stand can be, but nothing more
*I think at the age of 27 I’m sure about my sexuality, yet I started to question it.
*I just don’t know, how to handle this situation. (Believe me, in general and under pressure I can keep a very clear head in difficult situation, but this is something else.)
*I think, I’m feeling guilty about this.
*still asking myself: why?
In the meantime he left me a message, where he said he had enough of me, to being a pussy and not face the deed that had been done. He had written about his thoughts and whatnot; he cleared if anything changed, that he kinda feels me closer to him (is that even make sense? -as in grammar?). Also mentioned, he does not feel guilty about it and nor should I. We just -according to him- became closer friends.

I really don’t know how to handle this situation. I keep trying to think clear;and when that happens, I agree with him, then I think maybe I am overthinking it. Then, when I should speak with him (on camera) I just can’t. I feel like I have to avoid it…or avoid him.

I’m just…confused and don’t know how to sort it out.
Any advice?

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When I was 11 years old, I was in this kind of dilemma. I did it with a close friend back then (lets call him V). After we finished I was really scared because I liked it and went as far as to make him promise we’ll never do something like that again. Nowdays, he has a girlfriend and I’m into guys.

I think you should take this as a learning experience. A self discover of your being. Neither of you did anything wrong, but it’s better to be direct about your feelings. That the physical pleasure was nice for the time, but that you don’t see him as someone you want to have a sexual relationship.

At the end, I think you two just showed each other the level of trust you mutually have, because the way you put it, I doubt you’ll have done this with any other buddy. That was my general feeling towards my own experience with V.

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This guy?

Nah. Maybe a bit edgy like him, but we had a complex friendship relation.

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Oh fuck it is the guy who hacked my Club Penguin account. Fuck that guy.

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