Sessions with Lafayette (Serious Discussions Only) - Venting Thread


#235

I don’t have anyone in real life to talk to about this, and I need to vent.

A month ago, I found out that a friend had been to court and plead guilty for commiting a couple of crimes. Basically crimes he did when he got very depressed one night and got drunk, one of them being driving under the influence, and the other I’d rather not state pubically. He immedietly plead guilty when charged and was given some kind of community sentence rather than a jail sentence.

I know that he had suffered from depression for most, if not his entire life. I also know that he had issues regarding his sexuality. And I know that while he had a supporting family and many friends who he could count on, I think he still felt an extreme amount of shame and guilt over what he had done.

I found out during my work shift today from one of his friends that he had been found dead in bed. They’ve called the police and they are currently looking into his death. I think it is probably suicide, and to be honest, I’ve no idea how to process this. I tried to be there for him, and so did many others, but I find it difficult not to wonder if I could of done or said anything more. I wasn’t a close friend, but I had known for over 3 years now and seen him on a regular basis and talked to him about many things.

I feel even worse because after having that conversation in my shop about it, I asked my manager about whether or not I would be able to attend his funeral. She said it depends on when it is held, and that I can “probably” go. I actually had a flash of extreme rage when she said that, that apparently me being able to go to a funeral for someone she knows I had just found out had died was only a “probable” thing?

If she seriously wants me to work on the day I need to go to the funeral, I will refuse. She can fire me if she wants, it would go against my very morality to not go to this funeral. The next 3 hours of my shift I felt my chest feel so tight. I find it difficult to cry or show much sadness. It’s like my mind can’t process it but my chest and my literal heart feel it.

I’ve been playing Hitman 2 to try and take my mind off it, and wound up buying a large amount of KFC as my dinner. I have no idea what to think to be honest.


#236

I don’t think you could have done anything. From my very little knowledge those who are really doing suicide don’t really announce that broadly. If you had noticed he is falling into a psychosis, like he completly snapped, that would have been a signaland a moment to call the ambulance.

Maybe his defending lawyer could have done something as his job was it to give him the best defense in his process. And as far I see it, a medical opinion would have been good there. But I imagine this is much to expect from someone who don’t knew him really.


#237

I only saw him once a fortnight. By the time he had told me about the legal situation, he had already plead guilty and was just awaiting the verdict. He seemed fine to me, but then I find it extremely difficult to read people. I knew over a phone call that he felt extremely ashamed of the whole deal, and that his financial situation wasn’t great either. I’m guessing he wouldn’t of been able to work with the groups he worked for.


#238

That’s sad. I get the impression you two had not much contact at all? Don’t expect to be one of those who could have foreseen it. Even if you were good at reading people.

Visit the funeral and say good bye to him. I mean what is the worst that could happen if you don’t show up at work? It might be better to tell your work so, then they can deal with it at that day.


#239

Well like I said, we were friends but wern’t close friends. I was getting lessons from him for over 3 years on something every week, but I thought we were friends aside from that. I know he told me some very personal stuff, and he held me with some personal issues I was going through 3 years back after my mum had died.


#240

There is nothing you can do if a person decides to end his own life, no matter how much you are trying to help them, I would turn this around and say “I tried to help him as much as I could” and find some comfort in that and in my opinion, sounds like he have finally found peace, living with a major depressions over many years can break anybody, it’s a awful life to live.

True, people who have finally decided to take his/her own life can even show happiness and be very relaxed, because they have finally found a way out and have finally the courage to see it through, people say suicide is a act cowardness, but in my opinion, suicide is one of the hardest thing a person can do and I think you must have courage to see it through.


#241

One of the unfortunate things is that even people who come clean about it tend to not be believed, due to that line of thinking. The amount of people who have announced they were going to kill themselves on social media and then got told to stop faking and then committed suicide is pretty depressing. I’d argue that that’s part of why so many people would rather not ask for help, being told you’re lying or attention seeking is often a worse fate then killing yourself, for them.

At any rate, I am sorry for your loss, Silvereyes. I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much about it, it seems like you cared a lot. Hopefully he is at peace, now. You’re a good person.


#242

It is depressing for sure, but I would encourage people with suicide thoughts to go to the doctor, rather than announce it on social media, social media is not the right place because of what you are saying here and if the doctor think you are lying then the doctor should not be a doctor.


#243

Social media is accessible very easily. Doctor is not.
Also advising suicidal person not to share his/her feelings in any form they want is not mature.


#244

No it’s not, for a person with suicide thoughts it’s very easy to push them over the edge, one negative reply can be enough.
So I would say it opposite, not all on social media is mature enough to deal with a person with suicide thoughts.

They sure is if you say you have suicide thoughts, if not, then the doctor office is not doing it’s job correctly.


#245

I can verify that getting an appointment here, even while being suicidal is pretty difficult, but I do live in a place notorious for not having the best ever healthcare.

There are some places that will give you one or two free appointments but you have to find them, and suicidal people aren’t always the best at doing research immediately. Plus, for a lot of people, they just trust their friends more than some random doctor.
I’m not saying that everyone should definitely always take one course or the other, but I think it’s understandable why people would be desperate enough to tell their friends what’s going on in their [near] final moments.

There’s also hotlines and such, but I know a great many people who have been told to kill themselves by those volunteers, and thus I don’t recommend them either. It’s a very difficult situation that I don’t think has any good answer.


#246

I had another sleep paralysis, now the fourth in total. Before that I had dreamed of a polar cut, on which my bedroom can be seen. Shot from the perspective I was looking into the room, although my eyes were closed in this moment - because I was still dreaming? Suddenly the photo flash appeared in the already taken picture and a shadow ran through the room. I was frightened but calmed down because it was only a photo. Then the paralysis began. I opened my eyes and suddenly heard someone running up the stairs to my bedroom, the fast steps became louder and louder. When they were all the way up I woke up. I was so shocked, but on the other side also happy that I just heard the “encounter” and didn’t had to see him. (yet?)


#247

I had this a lot in the recent days because of the stress of not knowing if my research could continue, plus not having the most healthy eating habits before sleeping. Once I started taking things more calmly and didn’t eat too much before going to bed, these encounters stopped.


#248

Right now, I’m stressed almost every day too and I’ve been eating very late for ages. Thank you for the advice. On the other side do these dreams also fascinate me, but my opinion always changes while experiencing them.


#249

I got a birthday party coming up this evening. But from the person who’s been making my life hell for about a year now. I’m already drinking, it can only end badly today. It’s time to go, hopefully I’m not one of the first ones who arrive.


#250

why you go there, when that Person is so terrible?


#251

I’m assuming that person is related to Pete’s family or friends, or he’s trying to be nice.


#252

Go late leave early.


#253

It went better than I thought, it was okay considering the circumstances. Going back now.

We have been very close for a long time, unfortunately it turned into the other direction. And now the person and I share most of our friends, which I all introduced to her. A typical situation.


#254

Does anyone else fucking hate platform exclusives? Especially as an Xbox One player. The amount of PS4 exclusives is just disgusting, and I’m sorry if I don’t want to buy a 300 dollar console just so I can play a game when I should be able to play it on whatever platform I want.