I’ve been divorced for 15 years. And yeah, I know it’s more than a little crazy to think anything comes of this. But as I said in other posts, I’m likely done with my sessions after this anyway. Also, this isn’t the cliche of developing feelings over time. It was day one - “Holy shit, this girl is incredible!” So basically, why the hell not give it a shot. Nothing to lose except maybe a little dignity. I’m good with that.
Then go for it Me personally I’m always prepared for the worst. Then if good happens I’m all super happy. But the question remains, how are you going to say it?
Directly? Or step by step?
I might have an idea, try asking her out first and see what she says. If you receive the answer “Sorry, but I can’t go to dinner with patient” then add "so that mean you won’t even date one like me?"
Or at least this is how I would do it.
But if you feel lonely and want to find some just to I don’t know, hang out or… you know, try some chats for singles. I heard lots of persons who met their soulmate online.
If all else fails, you could just
Sorry, I had to.
LOL, no, I do fine on my own. Nothing wrong with looking online. Did that a couple times some years ago but not my thing. This girl just really stands out to me. Not just another pretty face. I’m sure a lot of it is just built up all in my head but I just get a vibe from her that she would really be something special. And like I said, it was a day one thing that hasn’t changed a bit.
So how are you going to approach this? Got a plan to tell her?
Holy this is one of the best memes I’ve seen in a while.
is this the first therapist you’ve seen since you’re depression and divorce?
And in case I’ve missed it, was the depression a case from the divorce or was there long before?
Still trying to work that out. All I know is I want to avoid saying anything that expresses a romantic interest, keep it simple and just that she seems like exactly the type of person I like to surround myself with. You know how probably most people have that inner circle of people, usually made up of family, a romantic partner if they have one and their closest of friends? That’s how I see her, a perfect fit.
No, saw a couple others briefly then I moved and by crazy luck got referred to her. And yes, I can trace the depresion back to my divorce as the trigger. LOTS of details I could throw out there but would be agonizing for all of us. I will say it was a very slow, gradual spiral over a 15 year period. I didn’t recognize it until about 7 years ago but even when I knew I was suffering from it, I didn’t do anything about it. Always felt like “It will pass.” Of course it never did and it just continued to very slowly get worse. Thankfully I’m now in a much better place. Mentally I feel like I did 20 years ago when all was right with the world.
My school is complete shit. I didn’t even go to school for one whole month.
I lied to my parents that children beat me, but actual reason was this:
Back in the first day of 6th grade, I was just looking around, viewing my new classmates. There was a girl who was doing the same thing as me(I was completely unaware of that) I was looking around, and at some point our eyes met and completely lost in thoughts, I just kept looking there for some seconds. After some time when I was out of my imaginary world, I noticed that she was looking straight at me with a frowning face. She thought I was staring at her(it is pretty common here for people to stare at other people, making awkward scenes, I have no idea why. I never do that and even if someone stares at me, I simply ignore them and enjoy or continue with my day), and of course, she thought I liked her, like most girls here assume. I quickly removed my eye contact and went over to some of my friends to get involved in some random discussion(discussions are mostly like this: ‘Dude, I just received 69 likes on my new Facebook photo! Haha, you get like 8 lolz’) and completely remove the eye contact thing from my mind.
You won’t believe what happened after some days. I was roaming around the corridor, and I noticed some girls were staring angrily at me and one of them was whispering something in someone’s ear while looking at me too. I thought they were one of those groups who discuss about anyone that passes by, so I ignored them and went to my class. It was only a month later that I realized that that girl at the beginning of this story, holy crap how do I even say this. She told every freaking friend of hers that I was creep who stares at girls. That is the reason why wherever I go I always see some girl frowning at me. It became a nuisance, but I somehow just ignored everything. In the 7th grade she went to some other section, so it wasn’t so bad for me(a lot of girls still stared angrily at me). Then in the eight grade, that biach, for no goddamn reason, told the girls who were my good friends in my class that I was a creep and all that bullshit. I’m not sure of this, but a lot of my male classmates(who were her good friends) treated me very badly and would always look at me frowning.
Then, finally in 9th(I’m going to 10th grade in 2 months from now ) There was this girl who was always looking at me for some reason. I soon realized that she liked me(my friends told me that) but because of all the stuff that had been happening for the last two years, I was too shy and scared to talk to girls. She would come to my desk everyday, finding some excuse, but I would always respond dumbly.
Now look, this is the cringiest and the worst part of everything. One day I was returning to my class after recess and I saw her doing some waste recycling job(my school is so shit, they would assign stuff like this to students, and for some reason those students would accept happily I have no idea why) I gathered up some courage and went over to her and said hi. She looked at me shocked, and said(You really won’t believe it)- 'Aditya, are you spreading rumours that I LIKE you?!'
I told that bitch I had no idea what she was talking about. She looked away angrily and I went to my class and when I entered, everyone suddenly turned and looked at me like I was some sort of a criminal. I sat to my desk and some of my friends came to me and said 'Why did you do this bro?'
Because of all of this, every goddamn girl student in the entire school laughs, eases and disturbs me. Even my friends became my sort of enemies.
I didn’t even go to school for one entire month. Everyday I would find some excuse to go, and at one point I just told them that children beat me(this is actually true. Children bullied me everytime and in front of everybody, but I would at least fight back) soon I lied that I suffered from depression. They booked my sessions with a therapist who simply told me I was thinking way too much.
I eventually told my family everything, they were all amused by the amount of stuff that had been happening with me. And the result was they took me to the same old therapist
I swear to god, wherever I go, if there’s an eye contact by mistake, they would start frowning at me and tell their family about it. We visited a resteraunt yesterday, and some women thought I was staring at them, one of them started giggling, one started looking at me as if she would kill me, and the third one simply shook her head. I whispered my dad about what was happening, he got so frustated he hit his head real hard. There is a whole story about how my dad does something like this in public places, but I’m too tired now(its 2 am here and I have my English test tomorrow)
I love everyone here at HMF you have been my greatest friends
Btw I made a sketch of 47 in an Indian Suit, and for that I need a phone or a camera, and that is in my parent’s bedroom. I have lost my phone 2 times, and that’s one of the reasons why my dad kinda hates me, and theres a whole another story
i spend the last 4 years without a clear Emotion. i just felt empty and lonly, even when i spend time with my (now ex-)girlfriend. i havent cried in the last ten years, not even when my friend died or a girl broke my heart. but then one day in summer '16 my cat ran away and i couldnt find him anywhere and thought hes dead (he stays at home, he never was outside before) and i layed in my bed with my girl and cried the whole night like a baby. that was the strongest Emotion ive ever had.
Very sorry to hear about your troubles @IndianAgent47 . I can’t imagine how hard it must be to deal with these things when you’re young and have little or no control over how it’s dealt with. Is there any chance you can politely ask your parents about switching to a new therapist? Also, is there a counselor at your school that you would feel comfortable talking to? Or maybe even a teacher you feel particularly close to?
I wish you well.
And @MrOchoa, I take it by the pic you posted in V3 that your cat returned safe and sound. Pets are truly amazing comfort to many people. I don’t think it’s probably all that unusual for some people to feel stronger bonds with their pets than people. They are ALWAYS there for you and love you no matter what.
@IndianAgent47 Switch Schools if you can. Thats the best option. Start Fresh, make a new impression.
I can’t handle my life as it is now. My sister destroys the life of me and my parents. She is evil, a whore and a devil. She allways wants to do something if she thinks about it and if she can’t do it because my parents won’t let her do it, she swears and destroys. My parents get angry and she laughs in their face. She is 13 years old and she thinks of sex the whole time. She hangs around with the wrong people acting like a bunch of fucks. She kissed some fuck and wants everyone to know it. She is the definition of a problem. Me, I don’t have many friends, I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t go out and most of the time I sit in my room gaming. She has everything I don’t have and she really enjoys that. My dad gives her everything and my mom, like me, thinks it is wrong. You can say do therapie or put her in a boarding school, but if I tell that to my parents they think I’m stupid. Biggest problem of all, I don’t have anyone to talk with about this demon. I’m 17 years old and my life is ruined by a 13 year old girl.
Sounds like she could use a good old fashion passionate ass-whooping or two, but I’m guessing your parents don’t believe in doing that.
If you do that she strikes back even harder. Like I said, she destroys lives.
So sorry to hear you are still struggling with that. But you are 17 and perhaps you will have an opportunity to move out in a year or two. If that is a possibility, just bide your time knowing the day will come before long. Then you will be able to start working toward living the life YOU want to live. And you can still see your family, but it will be on your terms since you can just leave whenever you like and return again when you’re ready. Or meet your mom for lunch, etc, if you don’t feel like seeing your sister or dad. Hang in there bud.
I want to move out, so bad. But I can’t. I don’t have the money for it, I don’t want to live alone and I don’t have the responsibility. My life is a mess. The only time my parents ask whats going she sits on the table with us and if I tell whats the problem, which she is, she swears to me and says I’m the problem. Then my dad says we are both the problem. I’m turning into an emo because of this shit.
The whole setting you keep describing suggest that social services should have been called by now. Does anyone else from outside your family knows about this situation?
Yes everyone I know knows about it. But they are all too scared to tell because they don’t want to hurt my parents feelings. Or they don’t care. It’s frustrating.
But she is basically destroying you all. At this point I don’t think there’s place to doubt that action must be taken before this finishes badly.