🗣 Sessions with Lafayette - Serious Issues Thread

It’s not totally uncommon for standardised tests and even normal tests to have a guessing penalty. The SAT stateside has a guessing penalty and every multiple choice test I took in high school had a guessing penalty except for one teacher who was trying to be everyone’s favourite.

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Well I think it’s actually common for multiple choices, the point is the question itself which was cruel.

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Not really, it’s a common law test for all of India but there’s a section of general knowledge which can also include international news. It can be literally anything, like once they asked World Water day’s date out of all things.

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Check the edits if you’re desperate for context. Gosh, I overexplain.

Essentially a friend has been teasing and ribbing me a lot in our friendship, and it’s bothered me a ton since we first met.
Felt very uncomforable as she was doing so last night

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I dont know you or Fran in real life, but basically all of my true friendships are exactly like that, we swear and cuss all the time, thats just the way we are :joy:

We run a Youth/Culture Center in our free time, we are a official licensed club and organize workshops, concerts, a queer meeting, a repair café, help other organizations out when they need Staff for Stands and so on…it happened more than once that people asked me or my friends something like “errm…are you mad at each other or do you guys even like each other?” and we all start laughing, like hell yeah, those fucking Bastards are the greatest people I’ve ever met :sweat_smile:

What I’m trying to say is that Fran is probably just a person like me and my friends, we call this “Hart aber herzlich” in germany “hard but heartfelt”.

Maybe she’s just a Bitch tho :thinking::joy:

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If you’re really hurt by her words then tell her you don’t like it. Like actually make it clear you do no longer accept being humiliated for fun. If she doenst take you seriously she’s no longer a friend. Real friends respect boundaries.

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I agree with @Danger_dog_guy_7. But I wish to had a bit.

If she is genuine, and I hope so. It means that the way she talks about you is part of the way she sees your friendship.
So if you present a categoric negative, it would be a negative to the way you friendship currently realizes itself. And that would be the way the conversation, and it consequences will go, negative, diminishing.

I would advise you to be positive in your friendship. ie to add something to it.

Maybe, don’t ask her to scale back on your dynamic. Ask her to enhance it. Ribbing between friends is fine, but so much more is to do. Tell her that maybe sometimes it would be good to have another tone to explore. Because your friendship is dear.

If it happens, and since time is in the habit of being rigid in its amount, proportion of the current dynamic will diminish. Scaling from near toxic, to the kind of acidity that makes a great friend.

I think.

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it sounds like your friend Fran likes to participate in playful jest with you. and yes, “playful jest” exists indeed–up until a point. when it starts getting to you, or becoming too frequent or one sided, that’s when it stops being playful and just plain mean.

it sounds like you guys have had fun together, though. if you want to keep making good moments together, and Fran is a real friend, then it wouldn’t hurt to bring this up to her, right? she’d understand. if she makes a joke at your confession and you feel even more hurt, then perhaps distance yourself for a bit and consider things. is she stressed about things and you’re an easy target? why does she actually do it? is she worth keeping as a friend in the end? these are important things to ponder.

speaking your mind is always worth a try. i hope this situation improves for you, Chicken. :blue_heart:

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Okay, so, maybe writing all that at 2am in bed and sad wasn’t the best idea :grimacing:, it’s not entirely as bad as I made it sound, I think. But still, it kinda got me down today, and I’ve thought about it a lot today. I’m glad to read some of your insightful responses here after also discussing this with my sister too (she felt a bit awkward being deluged with all the school gossip on people she doesn’t even know).

Right, Ochoa for the debriefing. I get it. People often rib and tease each other in friendships, and that is what she’s doing here. Mostly teasing I guess. But I think my thing is that I’m not that kind of person, or I’m not used to it (not that I have to get used to it though).
Thanks @Danger_dog_guy_7 and @LandirtHome. If she does value our friendship, I should probably just say it straight out and hope she understands to respect that.
And thanks mysterious assassin in the rain @v1deost. Like, we did spend 6 months together in an apartment, and as of now, her new place has a roommate she doesn’t really like, and she’s extended an offer to me to move in when they move out next April…
We have a good relationship, yeah, I think I’ve just followed my anxiety too much in terms ot taking the hits, even if it’s bothered me. gotta learn to put my foot down.

I’ll try to bring it up with her. I don’t know if this might be better as a face-to-face issue or not, like invite her for a lunch out or something.

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Always better face to face if possible. Body language and facial expression is lost on the phone and even more is lost in text.

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First I want to apologize because this may come off a little harsh, but sometimes that’s better then suger coating things. It sucks when if feels like you’ve invested in someone or something and don’t see it recipocated, but you shouldn’t rely on other people to try and make you feel better because you’ll set yourself up for disappointment eventually. No one but you has control of your feelings.

For surface level problems we can only do so much but the deeper rooted problems require people who know what they are doing like maybe a theraispt. However if you’ve been feeling this way for weeks, maybe a better option is to vent physically in a controlled environment, like say a boxing gym. Get a punching bag and unload on it until you’re exhausted. Sometime it works.

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Sorry, I’ll steer clear of it. :ok_hand:

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I’m sorry your friends aren’t there for you when you’ve needed them most. you’re genuinely one of the nicest people here (for example, you always post everyone’s birthdays in the birthday thread with a cute bear pun). it’s clear you put yourself out there a lot and it sucks that you haven’t been getting it back from those closest to you. maybe step back and do less with them, see if they say something about it. if they do, just say you’re giving them the treatment that they gave you? it’s a lame situation though, ursam, I hope you may feel better soon.

and I know it’s been a few hours, but if you’re still wound up you could try jogging to get your anger out. breaking a sweat is said to help boost good feelings

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Thanks. I’ll deal with this the only way I know I’ll get results.

And honestly, this was shitty timing more than anything. They arrived when I was on my high point of rage and well, now they are the focus of it. Unfortunate but has already been 3 weeks. We’ll see what happens. Meanwhile, I will focus on other people and myself of course.

In the end, everything can be corrected and new habits formed. Sometimes you just gotta apply some pressure.

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Aw man that sounds like a really tough situation. I’m sorry your friends arent giving you enough support you need, or that they seemed to ignore you on your birthday.

I don’t know any of your friends, so that’s probably why I’d give them the benefit of the doubt here, (maybe they were tired, maybe they were stressed, any number of reasons why they may have forgot or didn’t offer much help in the moment) but you know them better than me so I trust you on that.

On this note though I think the first person was being genuine with “honestly don’t know what to say other than…” and they just didn’t know what to offer up to help.
But that second one feels flat, yeah,
However again, I don’t know the context of who these people are, so maybe that first one felt disingenuous based on what you know of them. :frowning:

I agree with Nazareth’s advice of trying to find something “controlled”/legal to take your anger out on if you can, or see if you can get in touch with a therapist.
Take it from me, having someone experienced in listening to you and offer solutions or work through things that normally are piled up in your head is liberating. But that’s just my take on it.

(While on the subject, I know I may have teased art for people in the Birthday Thread some 2 and a half weeks ago, yes, I’m still working on some of it. Art has been slow for me lately. It’s on and off, again and again. I do hope to dump about 8 or 10 of them at once when they’re done though… then i can play catch-up again :smile:)

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Whelp…it’s happening. The two absolutely important law entrance exams, both for two colleges in Delhi, are about to happen tomorrow and the day after that. It would’ve helped if one didn’t set its exam center 36kms from here and at 10am to 11:30am, which is typically the time I wake up but oh well.

I’ve discovered a trick which helps in alleviating the stress a bit, it’s to think of the questions in the exam as side quests from a game and that game is the exam. I absolutely love side quests from games like The Witcherino tres and the recent Dying Light 2, and somehow, thinking about it like this makes me excited to give the exam, as opposed to a few moments before my discovery of this trick, when I was dreading how big the exam is with 150 questions in 90 minutes and was feeling lethargic because of it. But now I’m, for the lack of a better word, hyped.

Funny talk aside…There’s one big reason I want to stay in Delhi, that someone close to me lives here, and I don’t want to be away from her. If I get into the college we’ll be just 20 minutes away from each other. She tells me not to worry and that an exam does not set anyone’s worth, but there’s just so much pressure. One thing I’m scared about is brain fog, that sometimes happens during the exam and I don’t want to mess it up because of that. I’ve prepared a lot harder this time round, at least two times than that of last year and dad says he knows I’ll get in, that it was just a margin of 3.5 marks last year and the better preparation and the experience of giving the exam two times already will help and I’ll make it. Oh, I so,so wish I would get in this time. This song expresses the feeling perfectly:

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Good luck then, Mr. Rangan! Don’t stay too late because of the hype though. I hope your body and your mind will be fully ready for the exams! :+1:

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I wish you extreme good luck, you deserve to get what ye want

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Best of Luck for your Exam bhai and hope you get selected in good college in Delhi, Gurgaon or Noida area. Delhi is one of my favourite place, my aunt and another uncle stays in CR Park and Vasant Kunj area :smiley:
Tension mat lena, sahi jayega exam. :+1:
Delhi ke logo ka dil bada hota hai (People of Delhi has a big heart).

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best of luck! :four_leaf_clover: :four_leaf_clover: :four_leaf_clover:
20202020

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