The Comedy Club 🃏


#22

And you might have noticed something else: the sanctity of life doesn’t seem to apply to cancer cells, does it? You rarely see a bumper sticker that says Save the Tumors, or I Brake For Advanced Melanoma. Nah, viruses, mold, mildew, maggots, fungus, weeds, E. coli, bacteria, the crabs; nothing sacred about those things. So at best, the sanctity of life is kind of a selective thing. We get to choose which forms of life we feel are sacred, and we get to kill the rest. Pretty neat deal, huh? You know how we got it? We made the whole fucking thing up! - George Carlin, Back In Town


#23

#24

Oh my god, I’m fuckin done!! :joy::joy::joy:


#25

#26

Holy shit I love this guy! My brother in law sent me this video a while back. He is HILARIOUS!!


#27

This is pretty old, but it still makes me laugh :joy:
Dave is the man!


#28

Yo he is the GOAT alive right now


#29

“there’s white people in Kent watching”

I’m ded


#30

Watch it and learn to talk better more fastly.


#31

I was watching a Lion King video on YouTube (the Scar scene) and this came up… I can’t… :joy::joy::rofl:


#32

Well in that case,


#33

HAHA these types of videos are awesome! The dedication it must take to make these… I wouldn’t have the patients.


#34

Here’s one that is not approapriate in any way.

Little Jennifer goes to Catholic Shool. She’s about 14 and has the pigtails and the plaid skirt. She comes home from school one day and she has 20 dollars in her hand. Her mom says “little Jennifer where did you that 20 dollars?” She replies “I walked home by the high school playground and some boys said they’d give me 20 dollars if I could do the monkey bars.” Her mom says “oh little Jennifer, those high schoolers are jerks, they just wanted to see your underwear. Don’t ever do that again.”
“Ok mommy I won’t.”
About 1 week later little Jennifer comes home and she had 20 dollars in her hand. Her mom says “Little Jennifer I thought we talked about this?”
Little Jennifer replies “mom I tricked those high school jerks this time… I didn’t wear any underwear!


#35

I was bracing myself for a…different kind of joke with this info


#36

It explains the plaid skirt everyday and help portray both her innocence (which is what is actually funny, not the boys luck, but the innocence of the girl) and help portray the mom horror at the punchline.


#37

I felt dirty giving that a like, but had to do it :joy:

Those boys didn’t sleep a wink that night :joy:


#38

Gotta go with Mr O’Neal for this one:


#39