Today is a sad day, I have to say goodbye to the Hitman series one of my favorite Franchises


#1

I don’t know why exactly I am making this post, I guess it just feels good to get it off my chest. Hitman has always been one of my favorite game series, perhaps even my favorite. I would go as far to say I am a fanboy. It’s a series I have played for years all the way back to the original Codename 47. There is just no other games like it, it is very standout and unique. Unfortunately for me, despite how hard it is. Today I had to make a commitment to myself to give up the Franchise. The reason is rather crazy most people probably won’t understand and it is embarrassing for me, but if you clicked and you’re reading this I guess I owe it to you.

Earlier this year I came across something strange on Marrakech. In the basement/garage area of the Swedish embassy, in the back room with the stairwell leading up to the ground level of the embassy (where the wrench and crowbar are located)

eeeeeeee

I saw a peculiar placed coin under the shelf next to the crowbar. I haven’t any idea how it got there. I thought it was strange because I never seen it there before, and it was a bit out of reach. I didn’t put it there intentionally myself so I just assumed that I have either missed it in the past, or perhaps the game was updated. I decided to ignore it and just move on, it did stick in my head though. For some reason months later, in late july I decided to see if the coin was still there, and it wasn’t. So you are probably asking, so what? Well I have Schizophrenia and when I come across weird happenings like that, I get shot into an existential crisis. Am I real, is the world real, is my wife, are my kids… am I in a dream world the Matrix maybe? If I can’t explain something reationally enough my head runs crazy with other ideas that can explain it.

Since then I have thought up other possibilities, Since I often have gotten into gun fights on that map the main idea I have now is perhaps I killed a guard in that room that did have a coin and because of wonky physics or perhaps the explosive gas canister in the room, it ended up tucked away in that corner.

Because at the time I wasn’t worried about it. I never made a mental note of what else had happened, just that I saw a coin there, thought that it was weird, and didn’t put it there myself. So I am missing a lot of the context that prevents me from making a clear picture. And there really is nothing concrete or simple enough that can explain it for me.

Anyway, in early august I basically moved on and it didn’t bother me as much as originally. One day I decided to play hitman again because an elusive target I never got, and well it got stuck in my head again and it’s all I can think about. Because of this and because of my personal responsibilities to my work and family. I had to sadly make the commitment to myself to stop playing Hitman. I don’t think I will ever be able to touch anything Hitman related without that memory overtaking me. It is very sad for me as I mentioned it’s one of my favorite franchises and Hitman 2 is right around the corner , and I was very much looking forward to it (and my collectors addition duck). Sadly i’ll have to pass that up.

Hitman is a great series and one I enjoyed very much. I will miss my globe trotting assassin adventures with 47. Today I hang up my shiny red tie and garrote for good. I will miss you Hitman.

I hope you all have a great time playing this series hopefully for many more years to come.


#2

i’m sorry to hear about that, man. but it’s the best for your mental health, and hopefully you won’t have to deal with things like that in the future.

wish you luck


#4

Schizophrenia

20 characters


#5

:heart::heart::heavy_heart_exclamation:

I hope you are able to feel better, even if you can’t return to the game.


#6

Sorry to hear about your struggles. Stay strong - I know you’ll miss Hitman but life is full of other beautiful things.

Thanks for posting.


#7

Many people will think this post is crazy unless you understand this disease and what it means, I truly feel for you man, mental health is so so important and I bet it took guts to make the post!

Wish you all the best in the future and hope you can still keep the love for the franchise :+1:t2:


#8

continue playing in old parts!


#9

Hey, that’s a shame, but mental health is no joke. Hopefully you can get better. Thanks for sharing this with us, I wish you the best.


#10

Hope you are seeking professional help and have discussed this with a therapist as they may help you overcome the coin memory trigger and rationalise the trigger/memory in a way that would allow you to resume playing the franchise. In any case, Best of luck. Stay safe.


#11

Don’t say you won’t come back…who knows?

Take care of yourself first, that’s the most important thing to do.

As awesome as Hitman is, it’s just a game and can wait until you get better.

Like said above i highly suggest you to go closer of a specialist (in psychology or schizophrenia) that will give you hints to improve the situation.

Get better and come back to us :wink:


#12

Thank you everyone for the kind words :hugs:

For those mentioned therapists and professionals, I have had this illness for a better part of my life, so I have been through all that already and it has helped, I am very functional and stable have a normal family life, job. Unfortunately though I still have these episodes or cycles where I just get an idea stuck in my head and it just completely ruins me, it can last a few days or weeks and even sometimes months. I get a few of these every year, it’s just something I have to live with. :expressionless:


#13

For some strange reason i understand how you feel. Hope you could learn to conquer your mind.


#14

Just ask @Travis_IOI to put the coin back, I heard he made the game all by himself, shouldn’t be much trouble for him


#15

It’s pretty amazing this is the most unexplainable thing that happened to you in these series, and quite lucky it happened during one of the latest installments. I can’t count the amount of weird shit going on in Hitman: Codename 47 and Hitman 2: SA.
Anyway, wishing you good health and peace of mind.


#16

I’m not schizophrenic, and I’m not saying this to diminish your situation… But there have been times where there might be an upcoming ET, or even a Contract that will just bug me. It will weigh on my mind so much that I lose sleep over it thinking about it so much. Funny as this is, the last contract that bugged me was ‘You and Me Need Therapy’. :laughing: (<— laughing at the irony of the contract title). I had played it, then seen a magician speedrunner do it, then had to go to bed… As I lied there, all I could think about was another way to do that contract. I got to the point I had to get up… I didn’t play the game right away, I came back here (to the forum) and watched another speed-run of it, and they did a couple things similar to what I was thinking of doing… And that sated my… whatever it was, OCD?

If it’s any consolation, I seem to recall seeing that coin too. It stands out because it does seem like an odd place where a coin would be. But if it’s now gone… I could only assume that it would have to have been removed after an update - for whatever reason.

If there’s anything I could tell you to help you - it’d be the following… It’s a game. Nothing in it is subject to real world laws and/or logic, and anything can change at any moment without notice or explanation. Your mind may be stressing over the question of “why?” when it can’t or won’t look at the simpler question of “why not?” Then just accept it. Let it go. There’s a wonderful freedom in not caring about some things.

Please don’t take what I said as being insensitive to your situation. That might just be the way it is and you can’t help it. If this (coin) is the straw that broke the camel’s back - then I’m sorry to hear that.


#17

Wishing you all the best!!! Take care!


#18

Wow, never knew schizophrenia had an effect like that.

Hopefully you can find a way to enjoy it again.

If you ever need support, and others too, you can come to this forum for support :grinning:

Wishing you all the best in life.


#19

Hey! Your post was actually popping up on my phone as a recommendation. I decided to read it and now I’m here with my new account. LOL

Man, to be honest at first I thought you were Crazy!!! I was like “how did such a simple thing affect you”?

But then I realized I might have that mental disease just like you, but definitely not as severe. When I encounter things that are difficult to explain, or things that I’ve tried my best to find the solution but they are just never clear, I go crazy about that. I can"t even focus on work, I can’t even sleep well. My friends told me I’m mental. They said “why does such a simple thing bother you that much”?

I don’t know man, maybe I’m just like you, or maybe I’m just weird. But there 2 things I gotta say:

  1. Hitman is just a freaking game! you can take a break from it then go back to it even years later. Who knows what will happen later on? You might recover from the mental issue and be happy like you were before.

  2. I understand the symptom of the disease, but video game? I thought it’s pretty simple to explain. Whether the coin is there or not depends on the game developer and the glitch. Simple as that. It’s not something like paranormal or supernatural stuff.

Anyway stay strong man. I do hope you recover and play Hitman 2 on day one!


#20

Sounding rather insensitive there mate. Please try and be a bit more respectable of Poliks situation.
Also, Schizophrenia isn’t a disease. Diseases are created from bacteria or viruses. Schizophrenia is a disorder stemming from a mental, chemical or physical cause.


#21

As someone who works in mental health I wish you all the best OP.