Was hoping for a reasonably funny one, but two seperate websites have given me this story:
Honestly I’m more interested in the first page’s “Another Incident On June 1: Florida Man Stabs Roommate Over Groceries” as it sounds a bit less deathy but it didn’t include anything more on that unfortunately. Left me in suspense there
“Fugitive Florida man on bike hoped ‘hideous’ blonde wig disguise would help him evade deputies, police say”
Why didn’t I find this thread sooner?
I mean, yeah, that is pretty good.
The man admitted to drinking two liters of vodka and smoking marijuana starting around 9 a.m. that morning. He was examined at the scene and had no life threatening injuries, the report said. He refused further medical treatment.
Holy, what? How is this guy not dead?
One could say that the 2 liters of vodka drunk at 9 AM was actually a life threatening injury in and of itself…
I don’t know if this one has been posted already but someone just sent it to me 
Oh my gosh that is a revolutionary excuse.
Florida man threatens co-worker with box cutter in argument about Christian music - NBC2 News so it seems my Florida man is religious
“Florida man Jordan Rivera, whose arm was ripped off by 10-foot gator, was peeing in pond because bar line was too long” -24th May
Brilliant