Hitman Series: "Incorrect Quotes" Memes thread

I’ve managed to generate intresting conversation between Berlin targets using ScatterPatter’s Incorrect Quotes Generator.


Here’s a link to it if someone wants to use it:
https://incorrect-quotes-generator.neocities.org/

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I used that too for jiao and montgomery a while ago and i got a lot of gold like this


monty walking straight into 47s trap

monty after said trap
and my personal favorite quote i managed to get

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Haha that’s fun! I did it with Diana and 47 and that’s what came out:

Diana: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
47: I wake up at 4:30 AM
Diana:
Diana: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

47: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Diana: I think you mean cards.
47, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

And this one, especially for @Bourbon :kissing_heart:

Diana, pointing: May I sit there?
47: That’s my lap
Diana: That doesn’t answer my question, 47.

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Antics with the Five Fathers:




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Somehow stumbled across a prompt that’s accurate to the actual mission

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I did this with the Partners and The Constant:-

Your prompt:
Carl Ingram: Screams
Marcus Stuvessant: Screams louder to establish dominance
Alexa Carlisle: Should we do something?
Arthur Edwards: No, I want to see who wins.

Your prompt:
Carl Ingram: Yo is Arthur Edwards sleeping or dead?
Marcus Stuvessant: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
Alexa Carlisle: Yeah, so did I.
Arthur Edwards: Okay first of all, fuck you-

Your prompt:
Carl Ingram’s helping Marcus Stuvessant out after they get injured, while the others are watching
Alexa Carlisle: How does Marcus Stuvessant look?
Arthur Edwards: A little better than you, actually.

Your prompt:
Carl Ingram, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Marcus Stuvessant, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Alexa Carlisle, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Arthur Edwards, trembling: What are we playing

Your prompt:
Carl Ingram, banging on the door: Marcus Stuvessant! Open up!
Marcus Stuvessant: Well, it all started when I was a kid…
Alexa Carlisle: No, they meant-
Arthur Edwards: Let them finish.

The First one is my Favorite.

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Sums up Hitman 3

Your prompt:
Diana: I think we’re missing something.
47: Teamwork?
Grey: Cohesion?
Olivia: A general sense of what we’re doing?

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Okay these are my quotes

“Benjamin Travis: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Otto Ort-Meyer: >:O language
Sergei Zavorotko: Yeah watch your fucking language
Albert Fournier: OKAY WHO TAUGHT SERGEI ZAVOROTKO THE FUCK WORD?
Alexander Lelayn Cance: ‘The fuck word’.
Arthur Edwards: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Sergei Zavorotko: Oh my god they censored it
Alexander Lelayn Cance: Say fuck, Arthur Edwards.
Sergei Zavorotko: Do it, Arthur Edwards. Say fuck.”

Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker
Diana Burnwood: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Tobias Rieper: …I did. I broke it.
Diana Burnwood: No. No you didn’t. Father Vittorio?
Father Vittorio: Don’t look at me. Look at Lucas Grey.
Lucas Grey: What?! I didn’t break it.
Father Vittorio: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
Lucas Grey: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.
Father Vittorio: Suspicious.
Lucas Grey: No, it’s not!
Agent Smith: If it matters, probably not, but Victoria was the last one to use it.
Victoria: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
Agent Smith: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Victoria: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Agent Smith!
Tobias Rieper: Okay let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Diana Burnwood.
Diana Burnwood: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Agent Smith: Diana Burnwood… Father Vittorio’s been awfully quiet.
Father Vittorio: rEALLY?!
Everyone starts arguing
Diana Burnwood, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Diana Burnwood: I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Diana Burnwood:
Diana Burnwood: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’
Diana: Thanks fam!
Her Dad: oh no
Her Mom: cries I love you too
Her Brother: Sounds fake but okay
47: A flustered mess
Agent Smith: can i get a refund

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Welcome to my world, now. You’re welcome. :blush:

…Okay, that was cursed, I know. Here’s something less cursed.

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my sitcom stars wazir kale, dawood rangan and vanya shah:

Wazir: Where are you going?

Dawood: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there.

Vanya and Dawood sitting in jail together

Dawood: So who should we call?

Vanya: I’d call Wazir, but I feel safer in jail

Vanya, texting Dawood: Dawood! Help I’m being kidnapped

Dawood: Where are you?

Vanya: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Dawood: I’ll call Wazir.

Wazir, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Dawood: Where’s Vanya? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Wazir: Vanya? Whaddya mean, they’re right next to me-

Wazir:

Wazir: I’ll call you back. hangs up

Wazir: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Vanya: WHO ARE YOU?!

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Grey: What’s up guys? I’m back.
47: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.
Grey: Death is a social construct.

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i live for himbo montgomery

illegal paramilitary terrorists is just another synonym for dumb friendgroup that shares one braincell

i just find the image of orson in golden heels amusing.

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This is Gold :joy:

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Basically what happens in game.

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Your prompt:
Marcus: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Carl: You’re a hazard to society.
Alexa: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Your prompt:
Marcus: Carl, keep an eye on Alexa today. She’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Carl: Sure, I’d love to see Alexa get punched.
Marcus: Try again.
Carl, sighing: I will stop Alexa from getting punched.

Your prompt:
Alexa: We need to get through this locked door. Marcus, give me your credit card.
Marcus: Here.
Alexa, pocketing it: Thanks. Carl, kick down the door.

Your prompt:
Alexa: Carl and I are having a baby.
Marcus: That’s gre-
Alexa, slamming adoption papers on the table: It’s you, sign here.

Your prompt:
Alexa, holding a python: Guys, I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him?
Marcus: You did WHAT–
Carl: William Snakepeare.

Your prompt:
Alexa: What did you do with Carl’s body?
Marcus: What didn’t I do with the body?
Alexa:
Marcus: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

Your prompt:
Vidal: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Your prompt:
Diana: I can explain.
Vidal: Can you?
Diana: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Your prompt:
Diana: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! … And this knife I found.

Your prompt:
Yates: So are we flirting right now?
Diana: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU!
Yates: That doesn’t answer my question.

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Too soon Jiao, too soon…

This certainly fits the dynamic these two have. Strange how relevant most of conversations it generates are. I guess these will have to suffice for all the people who wanted to have Jiao in the mission.

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Omg, Arkadij is a true Slav in every way :rofl::rofl:

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image

There was actually a fourth sentence but it wasn’t meant to be.

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@Bourbon

Web capture_22-3-2021_184649_incorrect-quotes-generator.neocities.org
Web capture_22-3-2021_18478_incorrect-quotes-generator.neocities.org

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