The idea entered my mind earlier about 47 getting a pet for his safehouse. And I’m not talking a cutesy little pet like the kind he’s had before: a rabbit, a mouse, a canary. I’m talking a pet that matches 47’s nature as a killer. An animal companion that is also, basically, an assassin. Naturally, such pets would be predatory in nature. Thinking it over, I’ve compiled a list of what I think would be the seven most appropriate pets for 47 to have based on having a similar nature.
I love making lists and it’s been a long time since I’ve done one, so I had fun with this. These seven choices are ranked from what I think are least similar to the most similar to 47. Here we go:
- A spider
What better pet for the most deadly human on earth than one of the most deadly creatures found in nature? A spider could be an ideal animal companion for 47; they are easy to care for, don’t get in the way, don’t make a lot of noise, and help control the local pest population, at least down on the insect level. They are also mostly solitary creatures, like 47. They only attack when threatened or when they’ve locked onto their prey.
The problem with a spider is that it’s just not quite a right fit for 47. While there are similarities, the two big aspects of a spider’s role as a killer don’t really match up to 47’s style. Spiders almost exclusively kill with venom. While 47 does on occasion kill with toxic substances, it is not his usual method. Also, most spiders let their prey come to them and then trap them before dispatching them. 47 is a hunter and actively stalks his prey, rather than lie in wait.
A spider, for that reason, would probably be better matched as the pet to a classic female assassin who lures her target to her, such as Eve and the ? lady from Blood Money. For 47, although it would likely be the simplest option from the list to have, there just wouldn’t be enough in common for even 47’s threadbare level of attachment to an animal companion to thrive.
- A crocodile
Yeah, we’re going exotic already with this entry. With a nice, clean lake nearby, this ambush killer would have a conveniently placed home to be a free-range pet for 47. A crocodile can both lie in wait and actively pursue its prey, it has immense strength, precision, and deadly weapons for taking down animals ranging from bite-sized to twice its own weight. It has limited but effective camouflage abilities by resembling a log while partially submerged in water, and it can strike with uncanny speed and use its environment to its advantage, lunging out of the water and dragging its prey back into the depths to drown.
The problems with this arrangement are fairly obvious. Having a crocodile as a pet is almost certainly illegal no matter where the safehouse is located, it would pose a threat to any other nearby human inhabitants and end up getting the authorities involved fairly quickly, it could pose a threat to 47 himself since it can’t really be taught loyalty, and feeding it would be problematic unless deer are frequent visitors to the lake.
While a crocodile’s physical abilities, hunting skills, and patience are all characteristics it shares with 47, it would just be too much trouble to keep as a pet.
- A fish
Now, technically, 47 already has pet fish; there is an aquarium available as one of the decorations for the bathroom down in the bunker. But I’m talking about a special fish that he would keep for more than just decoration. There are many interesting predatory fish that 47 could choose from that might match some of his own characteristics. There’s the Angler, which draws its prey in by distracting them with a shiny bulb. There’s the Archerfish, which spits a stream of water at insects on plants that hang over water sources, knocking them into the water where the fish can eat them, making it a sharpshooter like 47. Then, of course, there’s the classic shark.
I think the most appropriate choice would be the Lionfish. Mostly solitary, it looks fancy, matching 47’s fashion sense, and its spines are venomous, although mainly used defensively. As active hunters, the Lionfish will blow a jet of bubbles at smaller fish to disorient them and spin them around, where they can then swallow the prey fish head-on, making the consumption process more efficient.
Dressed to impress, deadly to mess with, a precision shooter and efficiency-minded killer, and fairly easy to care for with little fuss, 47 might find companionship in the menacingly fancy Lionfish.
- A snake
Come on, you knew this one was going to be here. Snakes are patient, deadly, smooth criminals with style that 47 might find appealing. Sneaky camouflagers who get up close and personal with their targets before deciding to strike, while being mostly calm and able to go extended periods between kills, these scaly bastards match him in a lot of ways.
The cool thing is, it wouldn’t even matter which of the two types of snake 47 decided to get - venomous or constrictor, it fits. A venomous snake not only uses toxin, but their fangs are basically like jabbing a poisoned needle into their target. And constrictors are basically their own fiber wire, strangling and crushing their victims.
47 might be able to bond quite well with these limbless menaces.
- A chameleon
This one might seem a bit odd, but in context, I think it makes perfect sense. Firstly, chameleons are pretty small, quiet, and slow, meaning they’re patient and fairly easy to care for, and 47 would want such simplicity to be a factor.
The chameleon also has two qualities that fall right in line with 47’s skills. Firstly, their world-renowned camouflage ability. We know now that they don’t change colors to blend in, but as a response to their moods. But, when they change to a color that matches their surroundings, it really works. Also, like 47, chameleons are expert snipers. They have a rolled-up tongue in their throats that can extend further than their own body length, which is also very sticky, that they use to nab and eat insects far away from them, and they rarely miss. Their independently moving eyes are also noteworthy, allowing them to keep aware of their surroundings.
Long-distance killers that you’ll never see coming, these little lizards could be an ideal pet for 47.
- An owl
Birds of prey are more closely associated with Assassin’s Creed, but 47 can get in on this too. Birds of prey are efficient and ruthless killers whom you can rarely see coming and against whom there is almost no defense.
Birds of prey are fast, have enhanced vision and hearing, and basically wield knives on their feet and mouths in the form of talons and a beak, respectively. The reason why an owl specifically would be a good match for 47 is because of their unique noise-cancelling feathers that allow them to fly absolutely silently, so no unfortunate field mouse will ever hear them coming. Owls also have superb night vision, allowing them to see what their fellow raptors do not. With enhanced senses better than their contemporaries and being a literal silent assassin, the appropriateness of an owl seems pretty clear.
The drawbacks of having a pet owl, however, while minimal, are still notable. Owls and other raptors are really one trick ponies. Their only real method is to dive-bomb their targets from above, stabbing them to death when they strike, so they’re not very diverse like our favorite hitman. Also. Since owls are mostly nocturnal, 47 would need to let it out to hunt, or at least interact with it, each night. Neither is a deal breaker, yet we must consider all detrimental details.
- A cat
This one should make sense from the get-go. Cats are generally considered to be the apex predators among mammals when humans are taken out of the equation. Nature’s own serial killers, cats of every breed and species have perfected the art of hunting and killing like no other animal besides humanity.
Cats have the most in common with 47 out of all animals. Silent, stealthy, agile, fast, strong, enhanced senses of smell and hearing, and with night vision beyond the human level, capable of navigating heights easily, armed with deadly weapons with their claws and teeth, high intelligence, and fully detached from any emotional connection to their targets. 47 could go exotic, with a tiger or leopard having camouflage and stealth abilities that lets them get close enough to their prey that there’s no time to escape when they strike. But even house cats have a limited camouflage in their favor, with black cats blending into the dark, and some breeds having orange or multicolored fur that would allow them to blend in with the ground when covered in autumn leaves, allowing them to attack rodents and birds before they are spotted.
Being solitary saboteurs, but still liking the companionship of humans, 47 would not only have a pet that’s almost just like him, but one he could form a limited emotional connection to.
Do you agree with the list? Should another pet option be present? Or are they not in the right order? Share what you think in the poll below.
- A spider
- A crocodile
- A fish
- A snake
- A chameleon
- An owl
- A cat
- Other
