I watched “The Dead Never Die” or something like that and I can say, without a doubt, that it’s one of the worst movies I’ve seen. Specifically, one of the worst comedies I’ve seen.
It surprisingly has some famous actors in it, like Adam Driver and Donald Glover, but that’s its most redeeming quality. And sadly, I can’t really say they did a good job.
So in the movie, the Earth moves away from its course and this causes the Moon to act strangely and make the dead rise as zombies during the night. Oh, and it always takes much longer for it to be nighttime.
The setup is… decent if you read it with a summary like mine, but what happens in the movie is awful. The movie takes place in an American town whose name I can’t remember. Some weird lady shows up, and she’s the owner of the cemetery, or something like that. She also prays to Buddha (or at least it’s implied) for some reason and she’s great with a katana, for… some reason, too.
Once the dead come back to life, the movie truly begins. We have three groups of main characters: three police officers (Adam Driver, Bill Murray and some girl), three troubled kids that don’t have names and don’t contribute anything to the move, and Donald Glover and a nerd. The weird lady shows up sometimes, but she doesn’t do anything important other than killing zombies and acting strangely.
All of these characters are idiots, unlikable or uninteresting, with only one exception. Adam Driver is supposed to play a calm police officer, but he comes off as bored and just uninterested in what happened. This is because he “read the script”, which is supposed to be funny, but it isn’t. It’s just a lame excuse for his poor characterization. Bill Murray plays the police chief, who is pretty much a likable version of Adam Driver’s character. He’s calm, but not necessarily bored… until Adam Driver literally spoils the ending of the movie for him. “Hilarious and original”… oh, and the girl, who is also a cop, is “the exception” that I mentioned before. She’s the best character simply because she’s the only normal person in the movie. She’s scared, confused, and succumbs to her fears, leading to her death. She feels like a human being, but sadly, she doesn’t get enough attention and doesn’t do anything important.
The three kids are useless. They just sit and talk about what’s going on, or they run away and never show up again. They are completely unnecessary.
Donald Glover plays a humble hardware store owner who is very likable, but comes across as somewhat foolish near the end of the movie. He dies purely because he literally sits down until the zombies show up and kill him, alongside the nerd. The nerd is somewhat charismatic due to how he’s far too socially awkard, but dies in the same way as Donald Glover even though he had a shotgun which he conveniently didn’t use later. He didn’t run out of bullets, he just didn’t use it so he could die.
Anyway, near the end of the movie the weird lady is revealed to be an alien, just as a ship comes to take her home. This contributes nothing to the plot and it isn’t funny. Adam Driver and Bill Murray then die fighting the zombies, even though they had the upper hand, and then… the movie ends. It has no real ending, as it just suddenly ends without rhyme or reason, and might I add in a very forced manner. But who cares? It’s a comedy, so as long as the jokes are funny, it’ll be alright, isn’t that the case?
The jokes are just bad. It’s all based around the movie being “so bad it’s good” that it misses the point. Those movies are funny because the people behind them tried to make a good movie and legitimately thought they had achieved what they had set out to do. The jokes are forced and don’t make you laugh because you feel ashamed for the actors. They always deliver their lines in such a deadpan, bored fashion, that you feel like even they know how bad the humour in the movie is. Nobody is trying, and other times, the jokes are just so ridiculous, you’re left thinking “who thought this was a good idea”?
For example: there’s a guy with a “make America white again” hat in a café, sitting near Donald Glover. When asked if he wants more coffee, the guy says “no thanks, it’s too black for me”. Glover gives him a cold look and the guy says “I mean that it’s too dense for me” or something like that. I get the joke, but it’s so ridiculous and forced that it doesn’t work. There are many better ways to make fun of racist people, but instead, they took the easy way out. It’s not subtle, it’s not thought out, it’s just the first thing that came to their minds.
Overall, it’s just awful. I don’t know why I didn’t stop watching it halfway through, but I assune that since it had such recognizable actors, I just thought it’d get better at some point. Sadly, it never did.
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doggie.
), and even though you know how it turns out, the tension as they’re pulling off maneuvers that have never been done before is gripping.