well, the moment he uh, stops being a chair, hes kinda gone for the plot for quite a time (for extremely good reasons). meaning hes only human for about 10% of the movie id reckon.
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Oh
Okay
Well at least it’s a good movie then, I’ll add it to my list. And at least its as pretty as usual Makoto Shinkai
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The Super Mario Bros. Movie
It was simultaneously exactly what I expected and more than what I expected and less than what I expected. I really don’t know how to rate it; I’m not over or underwhelmed, I’m just kind of whelmed; I don’t think it’s bad but the audience scores are definitely high on the “power ups” (if you know what I mean)…
First, what I expected: a simple, “come over for cake, Mario”-esque story with Mario characters and references somewhat competently performed (on average across the cast) with way too many of the games crammed in there for good measure. And that’s what I got, sort of. There was slightly more to the story and enough references to flood the streets of Brooklyn but they actually didn’t throw as many of the games in there as they could have. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a LOT of games stuffed in there but they left themselves room to explore different parts of the franchise in (potential) future installments. As for the performances, I also got about what I expected but not quite; Jack Black was the best but almost too much at times, Anya Taylor-Joy and Charlie Day were good, supporting players like Keegan-Michael Key, Fred Armisen and others were enjoyable enough, and Chris Pratt was the worst (BUT not nearly as bad as advertised).
Moving on, there were parts I was really invested in the movie and certainly more than I expected. Just to name a few: the Kart battle, the Luigi’s Mansion intro and the integrated of the performance enhancing mushrooms. Hell, I even liked things like the attempt at war strategy and the prisoner scenes (Lumalee is the MVP btw). However, this is the fastest paced movie I’ve seen since Rise of Skywalker; absolutely nothing is allowed room to breathe or to marinate or to make a mark on the audience. After all, how will we fit in obscure Nintendo reference number 69? You’ll get a heartfelt scene of brotherly love then, snap your fingers, and you get sucked into mushroom world. You get attempts at character development with the main character trying to prove themselves or two rivals becoming friendly then you blink and they’re off an adventure or rocketing out of a giant fish’s mouth. Scenes play out like, “Bowser’s attacking, I’m gonna do this to stop him!” “That will never work, Princess…” “I don’t care, we don’t have a choice, I’m going anyway.” “Ok, good luck. The fate of the kingdom depends on it.” SCENE or, “I don’t know where I’m from… I got sucked into a green pipe as a baby, the benevolent mushroom people taught me there ways and then gave me a crown for some reason… 
Hey! Do want to see Nintendo reference number 420?” You also get scenes like the wedding where Peach and Toad have a master plan to thwart it themselves but there’s time for any of that so you go from her accepting the proposal to the altar or scenes like the Kart battle where everyone just kind of stops fighting and lets themselves get captured because we had to move on to the next scene a couple minutes ago, this one had more than a few minutes to breathe (this also happens earlier when Bowser attacks Ice World but that’s sort of excusable because the penguins were hopelessly outmatched), or not one but two (and possibly even THREE) scenes separated by maybe 15 minutes where everyone thinks Mario died only for him to reappear mere moments later.
So where does that left us/me? On the one hand, I got the movie I expected but on the other(s), I got more/less. I got a movie that’s fun and enjoyable enough but also lacking in a lot of key areas and I don’t even think it can be much more than what it is. The video games aren’t exactly known for story or character development either so the movie actually went a little a little above and beyond there. I got a movie that moves so fast that you’d almost think the characters knew they only have an hour and a half to work with and nothing feels earned because we don’t have time for that and we have to get to the next scene and I’m still not actually sure when Bowser had time to even learn Mario’s name or when any Toad in the Mushroom Kingdom had time to care about him at all either. And that’s kind of what the movie feels like: one long run on sentence that only (very) occasionally has time to even consider somewhat proper punctuation. There’s hardly any bridging or connecting scenes; opting instead for the old “we’ll say we’re going to do something and then immediately do that thing” approach (which sometimes you can get away with but not ALL THE TIME). I got a movie that isn’t really for kids (too much casual murder and (possible) suicide bombings, with a couple expletives thrown in for good measure, for that) but there isn’t enough in there to be for adults either. Sure, even the most casual Nintendo/Mario fan would get at least a few of the references but is that really all it takes to make a successful movie/franchise? And then we have the nerve to turn around and blame the studios and Hollywood for putting out increasingly inferior productions?
Did it look good? For the most part. Sometimes the characters looked a little wonky but it was generally very visually appealing. Did it sound good? Maybe if they throw in the thousandth random pop song for its fifteen seconds of fame it would have been better but, on the whole, not at all. Was it fun? Mostly. I know it doesn’t necessarily sound like it but I did generally enjoy myself. Was it good? Eh… Not really, a fun time does not necessarily make for a good time. Would I watch it again and/or tune in for a sequel, thereby continuing to be part of the problem at the end of the previous paragraph? Probably. It is mid incarnate but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. While there are definitely better movies (just from this studio alone) there also worse ones (just from this studio alone). Will Illumination ever top Despicable Me or explain why the minions conveniently avoided 1930s and ‘40s Germany and didn’t work for the angry mustache model? Doubtful… Despicable Me had a compelling story, fleshed out characters and heart (all things that the studio increasingly doesn’t know what to do with) and the minions whitewashed their own history because they’re too cowardly to fully commit to their own premise.
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John Wick 4 is another elaborate, bullet-ridden, thrilling, and actually surprising entry in the franchise.
It’s been a few years since I’ve seen the 3rd Wick film and even more since I’ve seen the others (only ever seen them once each anyway) so some of the plot of previous events was a little confusing, but it’s not too big of an issue in this action-heavy film.
This film does make me want to revisit the old ones, especially to compare the early action vs this latest rollecoaster of blood.
The choreography is, as ever, amazing to look at. A lot of tight, fast-paced fights and duels between John and other people of various sizes he gets into scrapps with.
Quite a few major fights that are a sight to behold and very memorable. my favourite is probably the Arc De Triomphe roundabout shootout
The cinematography is especially cool at times, with a few scenes being opened with a massive, impressive wide shot.
Lighting and Neon lighting is as cool as ever, bathing characters in an ominous red, or silhouetted against white.
The “money shot” action sequence is probably the one that looks like it came out of Hotline Miami. Defiinitely impressive as hell!
The set design still needs some praise too. Plenty of environments where action or interaction takes place, have really cool framing. Like the set designer always asks, how can we make this room look abstract and striking at all times? Blocky shapes of light in an art room; a spiralling fan of lights in a dank club basement; a perfectly-centered table in front of the Eiffel Tower… ooh yeah…
This movie also lives off of the Rule of Cool.
Probably the most interesting, and “yeah thats just cool” character of the film is from Donnie Yen, who plays a blind assassin. An expert at martial arts, and gun-kata, that can somehow cut someone in 12 places and navigate a shootout easily, with some taps of a cane and quick movements.
Bit outlandish, but it doesn’t matter because it’s cool.
Spoilers but: the bad guy dies at the end, and I gotta say it’ll probably go in my list of best takedowns of villains in films. I found it sooo funny and poetic.
Excited for the Continental show coming later this year, as it’ll be the next big franchise step into the Wick universe.
I’m also very surprised that, given how this film ends, it’s surely the end of the Wick franchise. The marketing made no indication that this would be the case, I expected just another entry. But no.
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Don’t be so sure. Reeves and the director had an idea just in case this one turned out to be a hit as well, and now folks are talking… stay tuned.
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Kill Bill Vol. 1
Loved everything about it, the soundtracks were especially top notch. Hoping Vol. 2 is just as good if not better.
Disney Strange World
I need to wash my eyes.
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Only saw Vol. 2 once and it’s been ages since that, but I remember it being a whole lot different in tone and pace and me not liking/enjoying it as a result (as someone who loves Vol. 1).
But again, that was ages ago and way before I watched a number of spaghetti westerns, samurai movies, and generally learned to appreciate slow burners more. I should really revisit that movie, see how my opinion has changed (or not).
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Just finished Vol. 2 and, you seem to be right. It has a different pace and the atmosphere is incomparable to the Japanese theme I enjoyed in Vol. 1.
The Boss fights were “meh”, the last one especially. On top of that, it went too much into explaining every unknown aspect of the story. One perk of Vol.1 was the ambiguity, which made me eager to continue.
And the soundtracks weren’t quite as good.
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the first movie draws from japanese cinema, the second from hong kong/chinese; your shaw brothers and what-not.
i think the fight against daryl hannah is brilliant. the way she flips out at the end 
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The lame fight with Bill evens it out tbf
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I rewatched the first two Guardians movies in the past 2 weeks in anticipation of the third film coming very soon.
They hold up really well as a special, self-contained part of the MCU I’d say.
The first film I haven’t seen much and it’s been a long while since I’ve seen it. It’s a lot darker and grittier in tone than I remembered it to be – and especially compared to the sequel.
People get knocked out HARD, fights look pretty brutal, the violence just seems darker… Ronan the bad guy is very ominous, foreboding, violent. He caves in some guy’s head (off-camera) for a blood ritual thing.
The colour palette overall is also pretty dark and muted too. The opening scene, the prison, the Kree ship, even Knowhere are all pretty dank-looking.
It’s a great film though of this band of misfits who have to learn to tolerate each other after being forced into a group over a heavy bounty. While there’s a great overarching narrative about a peace treaty between the Kree and Xandarian people (and Ronan who despises this truce) the general plot is a little basic, typical “evil bad guy wants to destroy everything/become super powerful, heroes must band together and stop him”
The sequel is where James Gunn really spins it into his own style, tons of jokes bouncing off characters left and right, some pretty ridiculous stuff, and a very personal, emotional core to the story. (kinda reminds me of how Thor 4: L&T leaned even further into comedy territory - but I don’t remember Gunn getting as much hate for this as Taika did for his film. Weird.)
It’s a lot lighter in tone and colour pallette too. They show this off especially when they arrive on Ego’s planet. Baby Groot offers some adorable moments of levity in all the action, and some fun jokes with the whole group having to protect him or deal with his infantile antics in one scene or another.
I especially love the plot to this film, with how it lets the characters bond in wholly new emotional ways. Peter reconnecting with his Dad, Gamora and Nebula hashing out their sibling rivalry, Rocket and Yondu bonding over childhood trauma, Drax and Mantis becoming friends (in their own really weird way). It has a great sense of “found family” cohesion and offers plenty of deep, emotional moments to go against the multitude of jokes.
I’m very excited for the third film, hope to see it sometime next week. Very glad that we’ll be delving into Rocket’s backstory, since they’ve only teased it a few times and he’s such an enigmatic character for someone with such jerkish, asshole-ish behaviour (with some sort of emotional compass on the inside)…
Also there’s some similar moments and “running jokes” I think I noticed that I hope to see continue in the next film. Someone always manages to crash a spaceship into the big bad guy, everyone always has a new animal nickname for Rocket (though Vol. 2 kinda makes it its own long running joke), Peter has some big “legend” about a famous actor/musician/character from Earth, Howard the Duck appears at some point.
Ooh also Michelle Yeoh plays some character I don’t know for like 10 seconds at the end of the movie, wow wow wow. (I think her, Sylvester Stallone, and some other characters are a reference to the OG comics Guardians group (along with Yondu) before they got rebooted into the current mix of characters James Gunn uses)
4 Likes
I just watched Guardians of The Galaxy Vol 3 yesterday and holy fucking shit it was probably the best Marvel movie in like 5 years, I almost cried for like the entire movie because of Rocket’s backstory, I mean I didn’t cried but I was close to for the entire movie, it was so fucking great.
It’s an 8/10 because it’s still the most crowd pleasure shit ever, but like the greatest crowd pleasure shit ever 
9 Likes
It going to binge all of them today then watch it ASAP for 2 reasons:
- because they seem actually entertaining which is a rare thing
- because i know somewhere in the movie there is a Radiohead song and i must know what one it is without it being spoiled, now that i think about it it’s probably just Creep or something.
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65 is a horrible action movie mess that’s at least fun to make fun of.
I loved the part where Adam Driver and the girl get separated in a cave after getting into a dead end, but then Adam Driver somehow manages to escape the dead end he is trapped in, and also the cave off-camera.
It’s got a bizarrely self-indulgent title card, nonsensical compass/map/hologram technology, incorrect use of “Meteors” in the first 10 minutes, and lots of shots of people staring at something off-camera dramatically.
The language barrier between the two characters in the film was a cool writing decision, but the script is pretty dull.
Violent Night is a really fun, goofy action comedy about Santa Claus going total stunt-man action hero on a bunch of naughty home invaders.
It’s cheesy, but knows it. Has lots of scenes of surprising whimsical christmas/santa-related cheer, some genuine some parody, a horrifyingly vicious homage to Home Alone’s traps, some brutal murder, banter, and gore.
Some of the stunts and camera work in the scenes is really cool, I’m surprised the director wasn’t a previous stunt actor himself.
also someone blows up a fire extinguisher by throwing it on the ground and shooting it 
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I don’t even have an urge to see 65, and I love dinosaurs. But I could tell it was stupid just from its premise alone. I would have picked it apart on its idea alone of traveling back in time to the dinosaur era and trying to survive, considering Earth didn’t even have the right atmosphere for humans to breathe in, and the characters would have died in two minutes… then I read what the twist was. Cue eye roll. So bad science was evaded by throwing in a combination Planet of the Apes/Twilight Zone reveal. Gimme a break.
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So you know that the main character isn’t an Earthling? He’s from some other planet in the Milky Way, and ends up crash-landing on an “Uncharted” planet that’s revealed to be Earth
Yeah it’s silly sci-fi stuff, but definitely not the most eye-rolling moment of the film for me lol.
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The old humans are actually aliens who colonized earth and that colony became so backwater that they devolved down to cavemen and then started advancing again and yet can’t find any evidence that shows they were once a star-faring civilization. It’s tired and lame, almost as much as the one where aliens actually created humans as slaves/soldiers/pets but we rose up and overthrew them is. Assassins’ Creed at least had the innovation to make the Precursors not be aliens but advanced human-like primates that evolved on earth and created humans as an inferior species, but they were still just as incompetent as we are and went extinct after thinking they could control us. That whole twist with this movie is just to avoid time-travel nitpicking and environmental survival nitpicking like I described above. I don’t even need to go into however bad the dinosaurs are portrayed, the main characters already make the whole thing so stupid, I could never get any enjoyment out of the film, so I doubt I’ll ever watch it. Shamalan’s After Earth had a less stupid premise.
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Is it really a twist when the title is named after the time period? It’s not like there’s a moment Adam Driver makes a revelation about it like the Statue of Liberty from Apes.
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The twist isn’t the time period, it’s the identities of the characters. You go into it thinking, “how did they get 65 million years into the past, and how do they get back,” only to realize that, uh, that’s not how they got there.
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Maybe I’m an idiot but at no point in the movie did I think there was any time travel element. I thought it was pretty clear that Adam Driver was a humanoid alien who crash lands on dinosaur era Earth, and has to escape before the meteorite hits. A fairly straightforward premise.
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