Sorry to hear this! Maybe your family lied to you because they need you in this time? You could tell them that youāre always there for them but you also need your space to be able to do this. It only works this way sometimes.
But then again: I feel for you. My sister has the same condition and it was very difficult for us other family members to acknowledge this. When I was miserable I was only focused on myself and couldnāt spare a thought for her.
My advice: Take your space, make yourself heard, they will understand (maybe not at first).
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Iām feeling exhausted with all the studying I have to do. Yesterday, I woke up at 7:30 and when I finally got out of my room, it was 21:30! 14 hours of work.
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There is the school Iām in which is the hell itself; god knows why they are this much āexamā based with just so little actual teaching, in an era where science is research based. Youāre not supposed to just blindly memorize things, you have to understand them for the love of god. Itās like you take a 6 year old kid out, show him the wheels and doors of a car and wanting him to explain the engine mechanism to you. Iām thinking of changing it for next year, itās really not worth all the college entry shit they feed you with.
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Then on top that, there is preparation for IOI (International Olympiad in Informatics, call it the computer olympiad). Iām competing nationwide to get into the team. Itās mostly based on lengthy combinatorics classes (I love them, though that doesnāt prevent the exhaustion), lengthier lessons which can get tough (mathematical induction, graphs, data structures) and the hands-on part (coding). Even a low level succession at this can be deeply influential, as most government take olympiads seriously.
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My jumping eyelids are being troublesome. Iāve heard it happens due to stress, lack of sleep, and overusing your eyes (books, monitors). Good news is, I have all the three
It wouldāve been better if I couldnāt notice it, at the very least.
I donāt know what else to say. Iām just heavily exhausted.
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dudeā¦that is a crazy amount of work. it isnāt the point of your post, but you should be proud of yourself, first of all. most people would not commit to something like IOI or just theyād give up. youāre awesome for putting in the hours.
as for the eyelid thing, thatās awfully annoying. is it possible to take breaks in that 14 hour study period? that may help it somewhat. also, going outside has been proven to help eyestrain. so thatās something to consider.
anyone would be totally burnt out in your situation, but just know it wonāt last forever, friend. you have a goal in mind with your studying, so let that be the light at the end of your tunnel. i hope it all works out for you and you are able to get some rest sooner or later, @Hichkas 
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Tonight, our oldest cat Puce (french for flea) passed away.
She was a tiny, light-weight 18Ā½ years old of which I knew her 8 years. The last two years were not so easy for her with declining health, becoming deaf, incontinent, a much younger and wild cat and infants being around her. So it was not a big surprise it was ending anytime soon. Still she was always around us here and still too fit to be put to sleep.
When I moved in here she was very active and a much more successful hunter than the twice as large and four times as heavy tomcat who lives here too (not the much younger cat I mentioned). One night when I slept with an open window in summer, I woke up to a dead bat next to her. And before my time here she regularily brought prey home to gift it to my roommate. Which apart other things was a frog (Idk where frogs are around here), a mouse (Puce was just as surprised as my roommate that the mouse was not dead and began running around the appartment) and a large green parrot, which are roaming Cologne in packs since a few decades.
Originally she was a stray cat (which is why she never had issues digging in trash all the time) and my roommate saved her from drowning. Since then Puce had a deep bound to her. When I moved in she quickly accepted me too. I am a calm person and cats seem to like that alot. I am glad I did pet her yesterday as clearly she had one of her bad days. I donāt know how she felt when it ended, but I found her in a more relaxed pose I know when she is half-asleep.
RIP Puce. 
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my condolences, its never easy losing someone you love. may she rest in peace
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ah, man. iām so sorry.
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damn, you have my condolences Urben. 
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Iām so sorry. Losing a pet is the worst, at least she went peacefully.
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my condolences, Urben. im so sorry to hear of Puceās passing. itās never easy to lose a pet, let alone find them like that. but at least she was comfortable. im sure she felt very loved and appreciated when you pet her last.
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Been there, far too recently. My condolences.
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Iām so sorry for your loss 
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So we recently learned that we wonāt be getting an Intersession week (winter break week) at the end of February.
Itās being taken over by preparations and initial rehearsals for our final two shows in the program.
I donāt wanna sound like an ungrateful actor, but with us finishing one of our shows tomorrow, (and then right back into 9am classes next week), I (and most of us I bet) were really expecting and hoping for this break. Dammit.
(Also one of the shows has less characters than we have actors, so the director added 4 ātrain passenger/servantā characters, who as far as we know right now, doesnāt have any lines in the script. Never heard of a play that has extras who donāt speak. (Unless itās a clear/prominent character choice)
If itās not clear, I am one of those characters.
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My 17-year old cat, Bucky, is dying. I woke up to my mom and dad telling me heās in the process of dying, so I decided to visit him, and I found him on the side of the bed, laying there. im still trying to recover from leaving that room.
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dude. thatās awful. sorry, man.
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I mightāve mentioned this before, but maybe not.
Gossip is so exhausting.
My roommate and I invited over 2 buddies from school to make them dinner, and we (mostly the other 3) talked about the gossip/spilled the tea about everyone in class, all night. What shady stuff people have done, inappropriate behavior weāve seen from othersā¦ ugh. Some of it Iād say is valid, but some of it felt a bit petty.
But damn Iām so drained after listening to that all night. Jesus. Makes me even worried theyād do (possibly even do) that behind my back.
This exact same thing happened the last time they were over too. Means I get to learn about all the gossip since no one tells me anything (and Iām like never involved in any drama), but it is very uncomfy at the end of the night.
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Also I feel really sorry & sad for you guys @Urben and @hitman_guy. Thatās awful news.
My family dogās nearing (or in?) her 10th birthday, so idk how many more years sheās got to go ā sheās still pretty active and exciteable though.
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My birthday is on Saturday. Iām turning 26. Before the pandemic started my dad and I lived with my grandmother so we would always celebrate my birthday with her. She recently passed and I honestly donāt feel like celebrating because she wonāt be there. Even though my dad and I are spending the weekend in Disney World, Iām not really looking forward to it because grandma wouldāve been the first person I wouldāve spoken to about how the trip went. AITA for not wanting to celebrate my birthday even though I paid $8K to go to Disney World in the first place?
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Sorry to hear that. I hope youāll be able to find a way to enjoy your time, but I wonāt give you that insulting platitude that your grandma would want you to, because how the fuck could anyone know what sheād want, especially me. But, if you feel that her memory and presence are strong enough in you to allow you to give attention to your special time, I hope you can bring yourself to do so without guilt or sorrow. Lord knows weāve all had enough of that. Hang as tough, as well as you can.
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I have never had trouble going to sleep and I still donāt, but Iām not staying asleep. Every night since I returned from vacation about 1 week ago has gone like thisā¦
I go to bed at 9 or 10pm and wake up 6 hours later at 3 or 4am and then I am awake for 30 min or an hour and before I get back to sleep. Iām getting my full 8 hours but itās taking 8 1/2 or 9 to do so. Itās really frustrating. Maybe I just need to drink more water before bed bc thatās usually why I wake up. I just donāt want this to become my ānormal.ā If this sleep + nap cycle doesnāt subside in 2 weeks Iāll contact my physician, but in the meantime I welcome any ideas.
Edit* Iām not sure why this came as a reply. Itās meant to just be a post on its own, but I hope you enjoy your trip.
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