Not sure if itās a good advice but if you feel ignored by someone, why donāt you try doing the same to them? Just look the other way and donāt even think about that person. Sounds dick-ish, especially since sheās your cousin but why should you be the one feeling ignored? 
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So almost all of my law entrance exams got postponed by a couple of months. Iām having a hard time believing this, they were supposed to happen in May and I was hyped theyād finally end and I would be going to a college, hopefully the one I almost got into last year but anywhere is ok at this point. Iām somewhat sick of studying the same things over and over and over again for THREE YEARS! 
The biggest problem is me being all alone during this and having no friends and not many social interactions, it has started to affect me really badly as of late. I feel this huge amount of pain outta nowhere around my heart area and it sucks, I feel the worst during nighttime while trying to sleep.
The only thing Iām hoping for is they donāt postpone it a couple times more like they did the last two years. The virus cases are declining and almost everyone is fully vaccinated(including me) and it would suck if itās like a replay of the last two years
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Iām afraid of many things, irrationally, but the thing Iām probably most afraid of is death. Not just being around or encountering death, but the specter of my own eventual death. I hate it. I hate the fact that death is inevitable, even personally offended by it. The whole reason why I canāt enjoy life as much as others, indeed barely enjoy it at all, is because knowing Iām one day going to die saps all meaning from anything I accomplish. And it is not lost on me that all of the video games I play: Hitman, Assassinsā Creed, Resident Evil, Dead Rising, Grand Theft Auto, Silent Hill, Turok; they all deal primarily with death. The one other series of games I play that I didnāt mention there, the Batman Arkham series, relates specifically to a character who does not kill. Sometimes I wonder if my obsessive game playing, especially with regards to Hitman, is my way of trying to tame or control, or just desensitize myself to, death.
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Basically a continuation of this post but with an emphasis on how this has effected me mentally.
I no longer feel safe in my own home. Iāve never felt like this before in my life. I feel anger, fear, sadness and guilt all combined and dialed to 11. Partly because I was the one who invited my family out tonight, and now this has happened
The police have finally come around and gotten a statement and done some looking around and taken photos etc, a forensic team is set to come and look around tommorow morning.
Even after half a bottle of Smirnoff I still cant relax, let alone get to sleep (currently 4am UK time). Iāve spoken to my closest friends who have been awesome, but I could really benefit from some kind words from you guys.
I donāt often talk about emotions or feelings, but tonight has fucked me up big time
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Firstly just get rid of that ābc I invited my family out tonight,ā junk. In no way is this your fault. You went out to have a decent time with your family and some jackass decided to break into your home. Not your fault at all.
Other than that I donāt have much except that I hope you can get back to a place where you feel safe in your home. Some judo lessons or some other self defence tools/techniques might accelerate that process, but I know itās normal to feel the way you do, so donāt beat yourself up for having what is totally a normal emotional response to what happened. If you do choose some self defence tools, please get properly aquatinted and trained with them.
I hope you feel better soon. I know youāll get through this. Donāt drink too much Mano. Sending some hugs your way 
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I am sorry to hear about what happened, and I hope you and your family have been alright, physically and mentally at the moment.
Itās late already for you, so if you can, perhaps you should have a day off to sort things and clear some thoughts, or just take a break and not get stressed by the incident. I hope you get well soon and eventually get everything back once the thief is caught.
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Goddamn, I am really sorry this happened. Sadly I donāt have too many words of encouragement. Unfortunately this is gonna sting for a while but YellowZR1 and Yacob are right. I think its best that you stay with a friend or family member for the time being, maybe a week or two and you can talk to us as much as you need to.
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If youāre feeling guilty about this happening because you took your family out, consider: what if youād been home? Thereās no guarantee that whoever it was wasnāt planning on breaking in with you there or not, and that they werenāt armed. Not to make you feel more frightened, but if this was going to happen, so much better that it happened with you and your family somewhere else so that no one got hurt.
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What I wouldāve said, others already have hereā¦ (mainly it might be best to stay with someone you feel safe with if your home isnāt that for you right now)
It is certainly not your fault. Just a freak bad-luck incident. I hope they can find your stuff, let alone whoever did itā¦
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I think we can all share the sentiment that boundaries exist when it comes to our homes to where our homes are designed to keep us safe to some degree. I have a random fear of home invasions just over the fact itās a huge invasion of privacy especially when they are ransacking the place and going through a lot of personal and intimate things.
I donāt envy your situation at all since stuff like this builds up paranoia. Iām not in the position to say I know how it feels cause I donāt when strangers come into your house, but what I can do is say try to find some composure since this is all mentally taxing and figure out what you can do.
They stolen hardware? So fortunately these companies keep track of them. I donāt know if Facebook and Sony keep their systems serial number on their boxes of every system, but Xbox does. I recommend you report the systems stolen. In the event if you donāt get them back atleast you can get them manually bricked so the people who attempt to resell it or use it have a useless piece of plastic.
I hope things get better within time, hang in there, everyone and the forum will be here.
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Fear of thieves has been a thing for me since the very beginning, like, I couldnāt sleep alone in my childhood not because of āmonstersā and āghostsā but āthievesā. Although it never happened to me; canāt imagine how hard is it for someone to actually face this.
Wish you all the best!
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I now find myself lying awake, at 3am, justā¦ mentally scared for my future.
Not sure what talking to the internet here might do, but maybe I need a good little vent, or brief self-reflection on this.
Iām feeling some serious imposter syndrome all of a sudden, that I wonāt do good work in our final two shows. That Iām no good, despite (hopefully) making it to the end of the theatre program in late april.
Justā¦ canāt sleep, and I donāt want to sleep, like I donāt want tomorrow to beginā¦
I need a really good hug
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sending virtual hugs to you 
you had mentioned that you got a second chance in your theater program, right? it can be easy to fall into imposter syndrome from that, like āwhy was i almost dropped in the first placeā and etc. (trust me, been there) but the fact of the matter is that youāre still there and it shows you have a lot of drive and talent.
i hope your final two shows go smoothly, Chicken. itās ok to self-reflect, but donāt let these negative thoughts bring your day down, youāre great 
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Thaaanks you guys 
From all of us in class today, we really hope so.
'Cause weāre all fucked up today, essentially.
We donāt feel prepared for the real industry, as our school uses outdated and very restrictive covid protocols, and weāre not being listened to when reaching out about it.
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Donāt we all m8ā¦
Iāve been in the same situation of severe negative feelings. This might not work in your case but maybe try rewarding yourself? I used to buy myself an ice cream whenever I felt I did good and as stupid as it sounds, it used to work.
Wish you do great!
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Iām a 26 year old male. Iām 5 feet 7 inches tall and I weigh 240 pounds. Iām honestly afraid that if I were to reach my weight loss goal I would still look fat. Recent photo of myself for reference.
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Progress can be made! Keep your chin up and get into the gym! It is 90% what you eat but itās so much easier to not eat garbage when youāre getting a work out in every other day. You feel way worse about throwing down needless calories when you know it offsets that 45 min elliptical you just did or that 3 mile run from yesterday. Plus itās an hour or so each day that youāre busy sweating instead of reaching for something yummy.
Iām sure with some discipline you can come way down. Itās a slow road though and itās easy to fall off the path. Gotta make it a lifestyle.
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Itās been a whileā¦ beware, the post is quite long. just bitchin about life, you know.
I tried to be positive in the other post, as positive as I could. Truth is that, I was on the edge; in the darkest, deepest state Iād ever been in as I never couldāve imagined one can get like this. I wonāt go into details but I think the fact that Iām alive has a bit of luck mixed with it. (Or maybe skill issue, I dunno)
From February until early April, everything seemed to be good. I was having quite fun times finally going out to a sport club, my attempts to make some friends seemingly worked (I mean, I was going out with people, I even got invited to a birthday party. That was progress for sure), I went on a long vacation and most importantly, my educational situation couldnāt be better. A few of the forum residents were also helpful during that time with their advices.
I mean, even my parents werenāt in the āAsianā form. What else could I want from life?
All until then that a set of catastrophic events happened, each of them making the next one worse. An emotional chain reaction.
The vacation was the hell itself. Except the single day I stayed with the friend in Izmir, the rest of it was being blamed for nothing on everything. The āfriendsā turned out to be total assholes. I was out there again, alone. Sticking more and more to my laptop for IOI, staying in my room all day as the parental pressures started to grow wild.
At a point, I didnāt want to fail the exam not because of I wanted to succeed but because I couldnāt tolerate them. It doesnāt help when you know the only reason they want you to succeed is, to use it as a tool of flaunt around their mates.
That + hearing āyouāre the best in the worldā since I was 5, made me scared of unsuccessfulness. I mean, true, I was the best in elementary school but that isnāt even close to the point where students actually compete. I was seemingly good enough to get into Sampad, where I found everyone, or at least 80% of em equal to me if not better. I was lost in the fact that, āthere actually are better people out thereā and that was the thing that I had never learnt from them; not just that, I had to be the better one no matter the cost.
A week from the exam, thereās them, my old pal loneliness, the intensity of the studying, not having any irl emotional support of any kind and suddenly this question is sparked: Whatās the point of my life? What am I actually going to do? Will I be happy with my choices and the life I had in the past 30 years later? Thatās right, now Iām in a total existential crisis.
Those around me have always had a Tony Soprano point of view on suicide. Whoever does that is a wuss who canāt deal with his own problems. But at some point you tell yourself, is it worth it anymore? Why should I even care about them?
The failed attempt knocked me down for a week or two. I either deleted or logged out of any account I had, (except the forum which I did the night before) to take a break. From everything. Stranger things? Fuck it. Hitman modding? also fuck it. Studying? you must be kidding me. Sleeping all day? There we go.
2 or 3 days ago, I was feeling a bit better so I called the guy in the UK who practices speaking with me, with a free topic. I talked with him about it and afterwards, I was even better. I tried to clear my mind and answer a few question to make a roadmap for the next few years with a look on a wider timeframe, say 10 years. Now I know a bit better what I want to do that also makes me happy, who am I doing it for and what impact does it have on others. For doing it, Iād try to be a bit more realistic. I still have to deal with my self-problems though I guess having a destination might make it better. Socializing is still a missing piece of the puzzle.
P.S. I gave the exam anyway, a few days after the attempt. Fucked it up bigtime though the results will come in mid July. Nothing to be worried of for now.
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