🗣 Sessions with Lafayette - Serious Issues Thread

[George_the_Aspie]

I know how you feel. I hope we all do. The quite fascinating thing about this whole pandemic is that everyone is experiencing the same kind of nihilism. That seems inadequate, but I’ve found it soothing when I sink into despair at the current monotony of daily life, to remember that it isn’t just me!

I don’t know what kind of person you are, but I’ve found it helpful to read social-history books: that is, books about how people lived daily life centuries ago. Ian Mortimer’s “Time-Traveller’s Guides” are a good series. Another resource, when I feel desperate, is going “travelling” using Google Earth’s street-view mode.

[TheContractor]

Thanks guys. The other day was an exactly low one. I think you’re right though, reading is a good way to keep your brain going. Honestly, I bought Dune at the start of lockdown and have barely touched it since

Have been trying to find little things to do each day, like watch one new film, or do some creative writing. Something to make that day feel special. Just some days do get darker than others

The forum does help tho and yeah, we’ll all get through this pandemic eventually and things will get better

@v1deost

I recommend Watchmen

I’ve only seen the film, but isn’t that like notoriously nihilistic?

[v1deost]

@TheContractor

I’ve only seen the film, but isn’t that like notoriously nihilistic?

Oh haha maybe it is, im halfway through and enjoy the neat art style more than the story In terms of lighter stuff, there’s the x files comics. They came out with the latest season and are kinda written better than the actual series has been in a while

[Bourbon]

And there’s a violent rape scene where the victim makes some Fucking Questionable Statements about it afterwards, and the 2 lesbian characters are violently murdered in their homes. It’s not something to watch to get you out of a dark place.

[MrOchoa]

I recommend you to watch any Japanese Godzilla Movies, except for the '54 original and Shin Godzilla, those are the best ones but very dark too.

Watch Godzilla: Final Wars, grab some snacks and watch the King of Monsters just wreck shit up. Always cheers me up.

[Quinn]

When I feel like dogshit I tend to watch old episodes of The Simpsons. Always cheers me up.

That, or whatever nasty ass true crime bullshit is currently most watched on Netflix. heh.

[Batata]

An old “friend” of mine recently started talking to me and some of my other friends after almost two years. The reason why we stopped talking is still a mystery to me. He didn’t tell me he didn’t want to talk to us anymore, nor did he just tell us to fuck off, or something. He just vanished one day, and that was it.
He acted differently before that day, though. And let’s just say that he acted more negatively, leading to disagreements and arguing. We found out this was because he started talking to the “wrong croud”.
So now he comes back, like nothing happened, still sharing some of those negative traits from the last times we spoke. Only difference is that now it’s all via messaging and sometimes phone calls. As far as I know, he’s still doing the same things as before, and still speaks to those “bad” people. And a friend of mine is really happy to see him back, to the point where they speak for the majority of the day, and he’s incorporated him to our gaming groups.
Thing is… I’m just not ready, or willing, to talk to my old “friend”. The people he started hanging with put another friend of mine in a really dark place. She was basically depressed because of how they treated her. She trusted them and told them some sensitive things that they eventually used against her, for no particular reason. I hated seeing her like that, especially since others have put her through similar situations before and I don’t want to see her sad like this ever again. And the worst part? My “friend” didn’t care. He let them treat her like shit even when I told him it was blatantly wrong, just because it didn’t happen to him, so it didn’t matter. I guess he thought he should “mind his own business”.
So now I feel uncomfortable when he’s trying to talk to me, especially when I’m with my other friend. I don’t have many friends, so I don’t really want to lose one, but at the same time, I can’t forget about how he acted, and how he simply didn’t give a damn. I just get those thoughts, of just telling him how he didn’t care, or how he left us behind, but I don’t want to upset him because of how he’s in such good terms with my other friend. I don’t want to ruin the fun, but since he’s been forced down my throat, it’s really hard to just avoid him. I don’t know. I wish he would just leave like he did before.

[Bourbon]

So, what exactly does this guy bring to the table that would outweigh him letting a mutual friend get bullied? He knew or ought reasonably to have known it was wrong just within himself let alone with you pointing it out to him. He seems like a garbage boy and any happy social dynamic you’re worried about ruining was already trashed when he showed up expecting you to act like nothing was wrong. People only do what they can get away with and trust me, that friend of yours is watching to see how you react to him. If he isn’t prepared to sincerely apologize and change his behaviour, throw his “friendship” in the dumpster where it belongs.

[Bourbon]

Just came from a seminar about coping with professional life during covid. Apparently I’m already doing all the things the psychologist suggested to stave off the depression. Great…this is as good as I’m gonna feel until this is over…fuck. Sitting here, crying into my leftovers. At least I’m not my colleagues who thought it was all hippy bullshit. Enjoy the nervous breakdowns guys.

[Mini]

I’m sorry to hear that and I hope you get better soon

I’m on sick leave for two weeks now and two weeks to go because of my depression. Since then I had good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel full of energy and the next days I can’t come out of bed. Today I was happy that I managed to wash my hair after four days. At least a little improvement to the recent days. I hope that this lasts a bit.

[Atropos]

@Bourbon @Mini

I’ve had something like that at work too. It was probably one of the most useless thing of my whole life.

I’ve tried a lot to stay positive so far, but I’m really starting to lack motivation for everything. It’s like everything require twice motivation than usual. Sometimes I even end up not being motivated enough to play video games. I never thought I would say something like that in my life

I try to focus on long-term projects to stay optimistic, but it doesn’t really go as planned. I’ve been looking to buy a house with my boyfriend for a long time and I found a perfect one a while ago, but the sale has collapsed recently because the current owner is a jerk. I’m trying to convince myself that’s not a big deal, but it was one of the only things that motivated me lately, so… it sucks.

On a smallest scale I’d also planned to build a new PC, but it’s fucked up too because of the current stock breaking on components so… I’m really in need of new future projects ASAP

Anyway, I really hope things get better soon for both of you

[Mini]

Today my depression is very extreme. I have done almost nothing. I went to the supermarket and of course had some short walks with my dogs. But the rest of the day I stayed in bed, I didn’t even managed to go to the shower. I feel so… I don’t know… sad… tired…

And I’m so insecure at the moment and small things get me more insecure! An example: Tomorrow I have an appointment for a manicure. I thought that’s a good idea and that doing something for me would help me. But since I made this appointment I don’t know what I want to do. If I’m honest to myself, I want to have longer nails. But I’m afraid that it might is “too much” and people could think it’s “overdressed”. So I should go for a more natural look but that’s not really what I want.

I know it’s just a trifle, but things like that make me totally nervous at the moment and I’m sitting here crying. And as much as I love my job, I’m kinda happy that I’m on sick leave. I have the feeling that I’m not myself at the moment.

[Frote7]

@Mini

If I’m honest to myself, I want to have longer nails. But I’m afraid that it might is “too much” and people could think it’s “overdressed”. So I should go for a more natural look but that’s not really what I want.

A cliche, and easier said than done, but you should do what makes you happy, not what other people might think, especially if you’re not close to these people.

[Atropos]

@Mini

people could think it’s “overdressed”

I think that if I’d made $5 each time someone think that about me, I would be retired on my private island now, so I’m probably not a good adviser but… A bit of change always help me when I feel down. A manicure can be a good start, it only last two or three weeks so it’s okay if you don’t like it that much in the end. Maybe there will be some morons to judge you about that (as always) but… at least you can scratch them with your long nails

[Mini]

Thank you both!

Normally I don’t care about others opinion. Normally I’m not that insecure. It’s just at the moment with the depression, I’m having more thoughts and I’m questioning almost everything. I feel like I have lost my gut feeling

[YourGudBudNel]

I just got the news that my ex, got engaged, just after a month we went our separate ways. Its for the better, it was a continuous loop of affection and fights.

We started dating in July 2018, during college, spent the next 6 months with moments of affection,small arguments and what-not, mainly because her family is very orthodox with their desired son in law. (Religious reasons)

I tried convincing her that, if things work out well, I’ll take charge about convincing her parents.

Fast forward to January, 2019 and after spending some intimate time on the eve of new years, she coldly said that whatever we did was like ‘just friends’.

Majority of 2019 i avoided her, even before the Fairwell, she insisted to click our pictures together, despite me not wanting to. Simple reason, you shatter a glass plate once, no matter the amount of glue or tape, it won’t be back in its original shape in form of trust and love. It still wast enough to win her over.

College ended in March of 2020, she kept pursuing me despite, me blocking her on all forms of social media, even LinkedIn lol but she sent a message via Gmail.

I gave up, talked to her normally, on why is she chasing me? Despite us not having a future, her using me as an emotional support, like whenever she wanted love or talk i was there but when I needed her she was either back in her ‘just friends’ mode or we don’t have a future or something.

Normal talks till February of 2021, for the past 2 months I’ve told her sternly that, find another guy, there is no future for us. She still was persistent with the, you’re my best friend, how can I forget you, I’ll miss you etc.

And boom, just 1 month later she got engaged.

I’m not sad, I’m not crying. I’m just feeling 2% weirded out because of the past moments and 98% surprised, how quick she was to just go away.

With all the time with her, I’ve never felt like I can spend my life with her, take her to my dream destination, show her my favorite hobbies or video games or things that I love. Mainly due to the above reasons, fights, toxicity etc.

Today’s, the 3rd day since this news, I’ve calmed down a bit, but the more I think, the more I feel she used me as an emotional support to talk or get by, and let me go the instant she wanted to.

I know its a phase, but I’m kinda motivated to improve now, get better at things I love and pursue things I like because folks/times can vanish and change at a moments notice.

[Mini]

That sounds like a very toxic relationship (if it really was one, it sounds more like she used you as an affair, to be honest ). It is better to quit such relationships. Let’s better hope she will never come back to use you and hurt your feelings. You deserve better!

I have a little addendum to yesterday:

I did it!! I was so nervous haha, but I really love it!

[Bourbon]

@YourGudBudNel she sounds like a classic abuser. Pity the guy she’s sunk her claws in and run like hell. I know it’s cold comfort but if nothing else, you know what red flags not to ignore next time.

@Mini those look amazing! Depression can be a real asshole and I’m proud of you for pushing it out of the way to get what you wanted

It kind of feels like it’s my turn with Depression Kitty. This time she’s come for my love of the games. I feel pretty shitty and burnt out from work and nothing I post comes out right so why bother. Intellectually I know it’ll pass but I just feel nothing

[TheContractor]

Yeah, those pits where you know nothing is wrong but nothing feels good either are the worst, especially when you know you just have to ride it out. Hope you find something to spark some passion back up and it passes quickly

[YourGudBudNel]

Thanks, @Mini @Bourbon @TheContractor yeah, that’s what I’m feeling. I’m just relieved that a weight has been lifted off me, with every passing day, I feel more confident about improving myself, not for impressing others, but to do things that I like.

Also, about avoiding the list of red flags, man, I think I’ve got wayy too much hands-on experience Thanks again fellas

P.s. @Mini the nail-work is