I have been a hypochondriac for years so most of the time when I worry about my health it is usually something minor. You just have to kind of take it as it is and know that somethings are rarer than you think they are.
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I just got my first ever job at a nightclub. Four hours in and they throw me out accusing me of laziness, even though Iāve been working non-stop. I was anything but lazy. God, it pisses me off.
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Uh, thatās kinda fucked up.
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Been going through a bout of depression because of relationship issues. The general thought process is me trying to rationalize why all this is happening and concluding that Iām just as disposable as trash.
The nights are the worst for me and have been drinking a little more than usual just to numb myself at night. I do limit myself, but I wonāt lie. I have been hurting.
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Sorry youāve been going through that. I know from my own experience depression is one of the worst experiences you can ever have. Please be careful with drinking. While going through depression itās very easy to get stuck in unhealthy coping mechanism and alcohol can be one of them. Hope things can begin to get better soon comrade.
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Well, as a small update with my previous post: nothing is precancerous. Itās a relief but I still have to do another follow up to schedule removal. Itās definitely a relief to know itās nothing threatening. Thanks again guys for the reassurance
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No problem! My mother is going through something similar with a weird mole thing she just had removed from her elbow.
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Iām going to rant a bit (lot) here so forgive me.
We raised a daughter who was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder and probably a few other things. She learned by about 13 that if life got too hard for her all she had to do was tell the school psychologist that she was thinking of killing herself and she got a mandatory 72 hour stay in a hospital. She was on medication since she was 13 and pulled her first āsuicide confessionā at that same age.
Every hospital stay was ended by the insurance company claiming they werenāt going to keep paying the hospitals and they would send her home. We were given a host of different pills to give her but it always felt like throwing darts and hoping one would stick. She threatened to call the Department of Children and Family Services multiple times because she was forced to do homework or had a curfew, or was expected to attend school. She would sneak out of the house nightly. She invited her friends over to use our house as a make-out location during school. Her and her friends would regularly ditch school and use our house as a place to hangout, smoke, have sex, and do other things.
She began cutting herself around 15 and would regularly blame us for any injuries that were visible. We had regular calls from teachers and therapists about her behavior in school. She would do homework and then throw it away instead of turning it in. By her junior year in high school she had less then 10 credits (you need 36 to graduate).
When she was 16 she decided that she needed to tell us that she was gay. She sat us on the couch and told us the ānewsā and we told her that it was OK. We still loved her. We accepted her. We didnāt think she was wrong to be that way and told her we would support her. She insisted on yelling at us for the next hour. We kept telling her that we accepted her but she just kept saying that sheād rehearsed this speech and she was going to deliver it even if it wasnāt needed. She had convinced herself that we were going to be mad at her for being gay and had worked up her ārebuttalā. We refused to sit there and listen to it so she started breaking things.
When she was just about 17 she reported us to DCFS and a social worker came to the house to determine how badly we were treating her. By the end of that two hour interview the social worker told us that she was no longer worried about our daughter. She was worried about our son because he lived in the same house as she did. The social worker was worried that she would hurt our son (who was only 9 at that time). We later learned that she would sneak into his room at night with a knife and wake him up to tell him that she could kill him whenever she wanted to and there was nothing he could do about it. He is now 21 and still sleeps with a light on at night and with his bedroom door locked.
We met with police, doctors, and therapists about what to do with her and how to deal with her. Everyone agreed that there was nothing we could really do until she turned 18 because she was our responsibility. We spent all of our energy keeping her from getting into trouble. Every pill, everything sharp, anything she could sell had to be kept locked up. When she was 17 1/2 we met with her therapist and started forming a plan to get her out of our house. We bought a manufactured home and moved her into it on her 18th birthday. We made sure she had everything she needed - dishes, furniture, food, clothes, everything. She called me every day for a solid year to yell and scream about how much weād mistreated her and how everything was our fault.
She is now 28 years old and has lived on her own for 10 years. She still calls us at least 3 times a week to tell us how horrible her life is. She accuses us of abusing her. She accuses us of keeping her in solitary confinement for a decade. She tell us that everything bad about her life is our fault. I bought a car and had it shipped to her so sheād have something to drive (which she trashed). We regularly send her money or try to help with bills because sheās still our daughter but she is absolutely exhausting to deal with and the constant accusations of how badly we screwed her up is completely out of hand.
There are people who let family members go and cut them out of their lives but we werenāt raised that way. As exhausting as it is to interact with her and listen to her we donāt see abandoning her as a choice. I understand why some parents do though. Itās awfully tempting sometimes.
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I can fully respect your choice even though I may not agree with it. I just hope that if your daughter is jumping into the abyss, you wonāt be so eager to jump in after her. If need be, we may give are lives for the people we love, but I honestly believe that no one is worth giving up your soul for.
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That sounds incredibly stressful. Iām sorry. I know of a family member who was diagnosed with ODD as a 7 year old and by 14 outgrew most of it. Still, even for that time they were a huge handful. Sometimes it felt like talking to wall because there was no way to get through to them - everything was in black and white through their eyes.
Honestly, thereās no real guide or correct way to navigate this type of thing but anyone can clearly see youāve done an exceptional job given what youāve done here. Youāre a good person in a tough situation. I hope venting here has helped you even just a little bit. Weāll always support you here my dude.
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Iām OK. Not planning on diving in after her. It can just be tiring is all and venting does help. She very much has a āwith me or against meā attitude. She doesnāt really care who she alienates or insults if sheās upset and doesnāt care what bridges she burns either. Weāre expecting another call tonight due to a bad car part that she canāt replace on her own (and she feels like we are somehow preventing her from getting it fixed).
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I canāt help but wonder why she keeps calling folks she claimed āruined her lifeā on a regular. But Iāll leave this here and wish you the best of luck.
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So do we. What gets me now is that she treats it so casually. Sheāll say things like
I was at my high school reunion and one of my old friends said theyād been in jail and I told her that I was locked up for ten years in solitary, remember when you grounded me for a decade?
like itās just this matter of fact thing that cannot even be argued. Even telling her that we donāt remember it that way at all just sets her off. I wish I knew why she calls so much. Itās like even with all the accusations she still thinks of us as her parents but the cognitive dissonance is stunning.
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Hey. I just want to say a couple things in reaction to your heartfelt post. First, that all really sucks and Iām so sorry all of you have had to deal with this.
Secondly, my partner of 10+ years is bipolar, manic depressive, suicidal, ADHD, eating disorder, imposter syndrome, body dysmorphia, sleeping disorder, you get the idea. All professionally diagnosed, and mostly professionally treated. I gotta just sympathizeā it is hard. It is really, really hard.
As Iām sure you know, their brains lie to them, and thereās no way to rationalize with a lying brain. So itās an impossible situation where the best option is to be patient and kind, but goddamn if that doesnāt get frustrating after a while. I know you know all this. Iām just also venting while giving you my empathy. Stay strong, as the saying goes.
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That is exactly what itās like. Their own brain isnāt reliable and it tells them things that arenāt true and vice versa. Our daughter will yell and scream at us for things that we didnāt do (but which she absolutely believes happened) because her brain is lying to her and she wonāt have any control over it. Itās heartbreaking that you know there really isnāt anything you can do about it. Sheās learned coping strategies over the decades as have we but they just donāt always work.
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I am sorry to hear how difficult and pressue you went / are going through with relatives having the above thoughts.
@schatenjager As a father I salute you, you are doing a great job.
For people who are having the above thoughts, take them to a Cancer Hospital, people are begging to stay alive even if they have money.
I know a person who did this with her relative and is now much better.
Military personal from every country wants to come back alive after war. These thoughts cannot be expressed, just make them realize how important and expensive their life is.
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thatās quite irrelevant in many cases.
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Just a little vent, after probably my worst and most stressful movie-going experienceā¦
(Not that the movie was bad, I just had a compounding stressful time built up to it)
The commute there
2:10pm for the TMMT movie, I left 5 minutes after Iād planned at 1pm (to get there for 2:00), took a route that was a little slower than predictedā¦ I got off the bus one stop earlier than the stop-caller had said.
So, I walked across a long highway bridge to where I was supposed to be.
Waiting for the next transfer bus took 15 or more minutes, with many busses passing by that werenāt mine. Fnally one came, and I got to the theater 15 mins after it had startedā¦
(Probably only 5, thanks to the tons of ads before it ā I arrived as the title card appeared)
finding the seating arrangement
Finding my one seat in a huge packed, DARK theater was really tough. I knew it was 3 rows up and around 5 seats inā¦ i did spot an empty seat that fit that, so I squeezed in and it seemed fine.
Well, 10-15 minutes after Iād gotten there, the family of 4 on my right moved into some front-front-row seats, and a completely different family of 4 moved in beside me instead.
Then, the lady that moved in asked if I was in seat 13 (Iām sure I was?) And if I was moving too, since her husband was supposed to sit thereā¦
I was left extremely confused by both the family moving and her insistence that someone else was supposed to be where I was that I moved out into the aisle to check my ticket.
I was in 13, row C, and that seemed to be where I was beforeā¦ but I didnāt want to start an argument so I scanned the theater for any no-shows or empty seats ā it proved way too hard to see in the dark, and after getting my bearings (enough) I chose to just leave.
I was way too confused and stressed by not knowing exactly where I was supposed to be and the swap-out that occured that I just couldnāt deal with it ā I counted my one blessing that it was just a 5$ ticket and Iāll go see it another time, get there way earlier, and claim my proper spot.
Also I forgot my jacket there in the spot I should/shouldnāt have beenā¦
Edit: My dad drove me to the theater and back just now, got my jacket back. They found it and had it put in their lost and found
This was the most stressed Iāve felt in a while, all because of a movie ticket??
Aaaugh. Guess Iām not as in control of my anxiety as I thoughtā¦ 
The journey back was also extremely stressful since busses were equally as late as the trip thereā¦ I was restless and needed to get to a āsafeā place.
Reflection
In hindsight, I should have asked a staff member to help somehow, either to find me an unclaimed spot, or get my money backā¦
I just had a really hard time processing anything in my head I had to get out of that situationā¦
Also, I looked at the screenshot of the seat arrangement from yesterday and I may have been in the wrong place? Someone was.
I was (I think, I couldnāt see well) 5 seats into the row? [Purple]
The ticket I had bought last night was 7 seats in. [Green]
But as far as I know, there were two people to my left and I was in the only unclaimed seat of the 3rd rowā¦
Uuuugh anyway Iāll need to see this movie some other time, Iāve had a terrible afternoon, I just need to lie down, cool down at this pointā¦ damnit 
Oh, and What little I saw of the movie looked great. It looks like a 3D sketchbook come to life. Lots of hand-drawn scribbly environments. Super good 
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You say your life hasnāt amounted to anything yet. I donāt know how itās been going for you so far, but letās say things havenāt worked out the way you wanted them to.
That doesnāt mean itās always going to stay like this!
You still have plenty of time left to make changes, to try something new. Why shouldnāt there be a brighter future for you?
You might feel powerless at the moment. Maybe this mood goes away on its own. That would be fantastic. But if it doesnāt, then it might be a good idea to ask other people for help. Iām sure you could find a professional in your area, who can help you get back on track.
Stay strong 
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Donāt feel like that. My parents stopped throwing me birthday parties and getting me presents from the age of ~10 and Iāve also not went out with the homies since for the past few years, most have left the city. My parents decided that on the day of my 30th birthday, they should have a wake for my grandma so birthday party was thrown out the window.
Next day which isnāt your birthday can be a better one so hang in there and keep on drawing 
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