I’m OK. Not planning on diving in after her. It can just be tiring is all and venting does help. She very much has a “with me or against me” attitude. She doesn’t really care who she alienates or insults if she’s upset and doesn’t care what bridges she burns either. We’re expecting another call tonight due to a bad car part that she can’t replace on her own (and she feels like we are somehow preventing her from getting it fixed).
I can’t help but wonder why she keeps calling folks she claimed “ruined her life” on a regular. But I’ll leave this here and wish you the best of luck.
So do we. What gets me now is that she treats it so casually. She’ll say things like
I was at my high school reunion and one of my old friends said they’d been in jail and I told her that I was locked up for ten years in solitary, remember when you grounded me for a decade?
like it’s just this matter of fact thing that cannot even be argued. Even telling her that we don’t remember it that way at all just sets her off. I wish I knew why she calls so much. It’s like even with all the accusations she still thinks of us as her parents but the cognitive dissonance is stunning.
Hey. I just want to say a couple things in reaction to your heartfelt post. First, that all really sucks and I’m so sorry all of you have had to deal with this.
Secondly, my partner of 10+ years is bipolar, manic depressive, suicidal, ADHD, eating disorder, imposter syndrome, body dysmorphia, sleeping disorder, you get the idea. All professionally diagnosed, and mostly professionally treated. I gotta just sympathize— it is hard. It is really, really hard.
As I’m sure you know, their brains lie to them, and there’s no way to rationalize with a lying brain. So it’s an impossible situation where the best option is to be patient and kind, but goddamn if that doesn’t get frustrating after a while. I know you know all this. I’m just also venting while giving you my empathy. Stay strong, as the saying goes.
That is exactly what it’s like. Their own brain isn’t reliable and it tells them things that aren’t true and vice versa. Our daughter will yell and scream at us for things that we didn’t do (but which she absolutely believes happened) because her brain is lying to her and she won’t have any control over it. It’s heartbreaking that you know there really isn’t anything you can do about it. She’s learned coping strategies over the decades as have we but they just don’t always work.
I am sorry to hear how difficult and pressue you went / are going through with relatives having the above thoughts.
@schatenjager As a father I salute you, you are doing a great job.
For people who are having the above thoughts, take them to a Cancer Hospital, people are begging to stay alive even if they have money.
I know a person who did this with her relative and is now much better.
Military personal from every country wants to come back alive after war. These thoughts cannot be expressed, just make them realize how important and expensive their life is.
that’s quite irrelevant in many cases.
Just a little vent, after probably my worst and most stressful movie-going experience…
(Not that the movie was bad, I just had a compounding stressful time built up to it)
The commute there
2:10pm for the TMMT movie, I left 5 minutes after I’d planned at 1pm (to get there for 2:00), took a route that was a little slower than predicted… I got off the bus one stop earlier than the stop-caller had said.
So, I walked across a long highway bridge to where I was supposed to be.
Waiting for the next transfer bus took 15 or more minutes, with many busses passing by that weren’t mine. Fnally one came, and I got to the theater 15 mins after it had started…
(Probably only 5, thanks to the tons of ads before it – I arrived as the title card appeared)
finding the seating arrangement
Finding my one seat in a huge packed, DARK theater was really tough. I knew it was 3 rows up and around 5 seats in… i did spot an empty seat that fit that, so I squeezed in and it seemed fine.
Well, 10-15 minutes after I’d gotten there, the family of 4 on my right moved into some front-front-row seats, and a completely different family of 4 moved in beside me instead.
Then, the lady that moved in asked if I was in seat 13 (I’m sure I was?) And if I was moving too, since her husband was supposed to sit there…
I was left extremely confused by both the family moving and her insistence that someone else was supposed to be where I was that I moved out into the aisle to check my ticket.
I was in 13, row C, and that seemed to be where I was before… but I didn’t want to start an argument so I scanned the theater for any no-shows or empty seats – it proved way too hard to see in the dark, and after getting my bearings (enough) I chose to just leave.
I was way too confused and stressed by not knowing exactly where I was supposed to be and the swap-out that occured that I just couldn’t deal with it – I counted my one blessing that it was just a 5$ ticket and I’ll go see it another time, get there way earlier, and claim my proper spot.
Also I forgot my jacket there in the spot I should/shouldn’t have been…
Edit: My dad drove me to the theater and back just now, got my jacket back. They found it and had it put in their lost and found
This was the most stressed I’ve felt in a while, all because of a movie ticket??
Aaaugh. Guess I’m not as in control of my anxiety as I thought…
The journey back was also extremely stressful since busses were equally as late as the trip there… I was restless and needed to get to a ‘safe’ place.
In hindsight, I should have asked a staff member to help somehow, either to find me an unclaimed spot, or get my money back…
I just had a really hard time processing anything in my head I had to get out of that situation…
Also, I looked at the screenshot of the seat arrangement from yesterday and I may have been in the wrong place? Someone was.
I was (I think, I couldn’t see well) 5 seats into the row? [Purple]
The ticket I had bought last night was 7 seats in. [Green]
But as far as I know, there were two people to my left and I was in the only unclaimed seat of the 3rd row…
Uuuugh anyway I’ll need to see this movie some other time, I’ve had a terrible afternoon, I just need to lie down, cool down at this point… damnit
Oh, and What little I saw of the movie looked great. It looks like a 3D sketchbook come to life. Lots of hand-drawn scribbly environments. Super good
You say your life hasn’t amounted to anything yet. I don’t know how it’s been going for you so far, but let’s say things haven’t worked out the way you wanted them to.
That doesn’t mean it’s always going to stay like this!
You still have plenty of time left to make changes, to try something new. Why shouldn’t there be a brighter future for you?
You might feel powerless at the moment. Maybe this mood goes away on its own. That would be fantastic. But if it doesn’t, then it might be a good idea to ask other people for help. I’m sure you could find a professional in your area, who can help you get back on track.
Don’t feel like that. My parents stopped throwing me birthday parties and getting me presents from the age of ~10 and I’ve also not went out with the homies since for the past few years, most have left the city. My parents decided that on the day of my 30th birthday, they should have a wake for my grandma so birthday party was thrown out the window.
Next day which isn’t your birthday can be a better one so hang in there and keep on drawing
If it helps, I know how you feel. Last year no one except my wife said a thing about it (except for this forum). I actually called my mom, who is 80 and yelled at her about it. No cards, no cakes, no gifts, not even a phone call. Not only is it depressing, it feels insulting.
But I got over it and you will too. It’s a fleeting feeling that passes fairly quickly.
It all boils down to what you expect from life and how you squeeze that into your day aside from boring adult sutff like work, pay bills, cook, eat, sleep, parenting and so on. (unless some of that means fun to you) Sometimes you have just little time to socialize with others, and there are periods of time where that is basically every day.
Ideally you endure that because it brings you to a point you want to be at. But as life also sucks sometimes, you also do that to not get further away from that.
If you have the free time and are energized enough to do something else you like, just do that! And if that happens to not include other people, that does not need to be bad or wrong.
It is good you speak about this here and Instagram, but you might also want to seek professional help about your feelings to not get into some kind of spiral. I am sure, even though you might be now confused what it is all worth and where you want to get to in life, a future you might appreciate you did such a step.
By the way, I am also yet another here who is not throwing birthday parties. I also have most social contacts online. But for me the Internet is not an escape but another window in life, and while I want to increase the real world social life, the online sphere also helps me at finding people locally with common interests.
People I or you can reach online are also real people, we just mostly have not long enough arms to give the needed, physical hug. The trick is to find at least some where they are!
Suicidal thoughts are neither stupid nor immature. I’ve been in your shoes and honestly, a part of feeling that way comes from parental opinion about suicidals. Mine think they’re scared cowards which wasn’t of any help.
It’s still heartwarming that you found a reason to continue, and I sincerely hope for more of them to stumble upon you
Curiosity: We humans were always curious about what came next and what was beyond the horizon.
Earth is not flat, and the sun is not revolving around us; we know that now.
As gamers, we are waiting to play Project 007, curious to know what Project Fantasy is. Will there be a Hitman 4? Only time has the answer.
As an artist, we want to learn more about our art. More about learning other art. Inspiring people and mentoring trainees.
How will technology be after 100 years? Will it be all VR goggles?
As per Darwin’s evolution theory, we have a purpose in this world as a human being species group.
Unfortunately, the people who lost to COVID could not see what we would learn. Life is precious.
I would actually have to argue against this one. If humans had a purpose, we wouldn’t be curious, we’d just fulfill our purpose and then move on. The fact that we are curious suggest that we are devoid of purpose and are trying to find something to do with our existence due to an inherent lack of it. To that end, for some (not myself), a lack of purpose is a welcome thing, because it allows one no end to possible exploration to find what fits your personal sensibilities.
Sorry, compulsion to respond to that one was too strong to ignore.
Agree, I meant Purpose as a human being group (not individually) - Darwin’s evolution theory
Oh gosh, I wish I had time right now to respond to this, but I’ll do it later if this is still up! sorry
I’ll at least write this little thing
“Continuing” with your life for the sake of a promise, or an upcoming book or game or concert is not stupid at all.
The world sometimes really sucks and that small bit of motivation to see things you like come to fruition is okay!
You are totally worthy of love and support, and I’m sorry you’re not getting that IRL!
You’ve not amounted to nothing though! You’re a talented artist and animator, and you still have plenty of time to put those skills to use!
biiiig fluffy hugs for v1deost
Abbas Kiarostami’s Taste of Cherry beautifully represents how an ordinary incident can change your insights.
I’ve suffered through depression and suicidal thoughts about 2 years ago. It can be caused by multiple things piling up or just a single trigger. I’m sure you’ve heard it a ton already but you are cared about and appreciated. Sometimes our brains can just hate us and fill us with thoughts that deep down we know aren’t true. But I’m confident that while the path ahead will be bumpy you can get through it. And know whether it be friends or family irl or online you’re not alone. I know that’s how I felt in 2021. I felt alone or that I was disappointing, annoying, or a failure to my friends and family. But when I reached out for help and told people how I was feeling and the terrible thoughts I had I saw the immediate response and love from everyone. And considering all the responses in here so far it seems to me there are many people who care for you and we all hope you can be happy.
I’d also recommend if you haven’t yet to find a therapist or psychiatrist. I know going to them helped me significantly get through the rough patch I went through.