Uh wow. I did not anticipate this much input, it means a lot. I’m sorry that I couldn’t reply sooner, because yesterday I was very out of it, to put it mildly
I guess it was less so about the birthday itself, but having it exist as a reminder of time running out, lonliness…and seeing people I loved not really care. It made me examine everything more strongly than I already was. It’s like, if I were gone, would it matter? Have I even done anything worth remembering or made any substantial progress, career wise? It was almost like seeing a preview of that reality. Didn’t help that another job rejection letter came through that day too.
It’s a shame that some of you have felt this way and can relate though, and I’m extremely sorry to hear that. At least we’re not alone.
I’m really glad they were able to help you! That’s great and I hope you continue to feel better. However, I don’t have the funds for that, so it’s just about how to cope with this right now, for me
That’s a great point. I actually mentioned how I felt to my mother (omitting the suicidal part - she has enough problems of her own already), and she said it could help to join some of the local clubs that our community has. Even if it’s something like fishing, gardening, whatever. Simply getting outside and interacting with anyone can improve your mindset, so they say
It meant a lot to hear these things and be reassured that this feeling won’t last forever. Thank you for the responses, @jan342 @EvilGeniusRo @schatenjager @Urben @Hichkas @zubin47 @TheChicken @HerbGamer and to everyone else who liked the post. I value your support a lot and it helped to read your different perspectives and affirmations. Even if I still don’t feel 100%, it’s still better than yesterday. Again, thanks guys. I’m sorry to be annoying about this on here.