I don’t mind the cosmetic packs we got with the Freelancer pack, but they really weren’t that enticing to me. So I thought about what kind of pack I WOULD gladly pay money for, and I drew this
I tried to keep the items pretty simple, but let me detail them a little bit.
Tactical Gorilla
I love funny suit unlocks in Hitman. I think a Gorilla suit would be ridiculous but it would also be the kind of dumb stunt that most people would just look the other way at in real life. My first design for this gorilla suit was without a mask like the Flamingo suit, however looking at other suits in the game such as The Arkian Tuxedo I realized that there is no greater requirement for 47’s face to be visible and almost all commercial available gorilla suits include masks. The name is a pun on “Tactical Guerilla”.
Remote Explosive Novelty Phone
Works the exact same way as the regular remote explosive phone, except it plays a midi version of Raffi’s Bananaphone. This design is my original but it is inspired by the actual banana phones that existed in the 90’s and early 2000.
Modified M1 Carbine
This is the rifle that is used by the protagonist in the 1968 Planet of the Apes movie. I don’t know much about guns, but I thought this would be a fun and fitting unlock. If you were to have any licensing issues, perhaps just do a regular M1 Carbine, or one modified in a similar but legally distinct manner.
Master of Fire Matchbox
This is an item I’ve wanted in Freelancer, it’s a match box with 3 uses.
This item works like the Torch item on levels like Ambrose Island, except it can not be locked onto a target and will always be casually lobbed. I also think that this item is consumed every time you put it back in your inventory, the same way the torch loses its fire when you put it away. It should cost 1 item slot in freelancer as it is an extremely situational item, and it logically would not weigh a lot. It is heavily inspired by the 1986 movie “Link” about a murderous chimpanzee, the Matchbox is similar to the one used on one of the posters though I added a Fire logo to it.
The Dirty Ape Proximity Flash Device
There is currently no Proximity Flash device in the game and I can kind of see why, it would inherently be more situational and less useful than the remote triggered Flash device. Which is why this item has a unique feature: It is reuse-able after activating, but it becomes an illegal item. You could potentially use this item to flash multiple targets, BUT you will have to find a way to retrieve it as guards and NPC will consider it an illegal weapon after it has been activated. Normal flash devices cost 2 slots, this item should cost 3 because it is bigger and re-usable. The toy would have its trench-coat closed when placed, and opened after activating. The design is a combination of the classic cymbal monkey and novelty motion activated adult prank toys. I think people would love how tongue-in-cheek a flashing device disguise as a flashing toy would be, and I think making it a retrievable illegal item would add a fun challenge to using it.
If you don’t want to make it a pack, feel free to use any of these item ideas individually.
Here are some suggestions for other things to put in the pack, should you want to make it one.
Vann Pelt’s modified Winchester 1901 Shotgun
I considered drawing this in my back but I’m unsure how well it would fit or the copyright, still its something to consider.
Outdoor Garden decoration: 3 Wise Monkeys
There’s an infinite number of variation of this design, and I imagine 47 would appreciate its teachings.
Indoor Artwork: The Comedian by Maurizio Cattelan
Maybe 47 appreciates modern art, a lot of people do not.
Indoor Artwork: Ecce Homo (Behold the Man) by Martínez and Giménez
The very famous failed restoration work of the classical Ecce Homo, also nicknamed “Monkey Jesus”. Perhaps 47 felt it a waste seeing this classical piece being forgotten in some old German basement.
Indoor Artwork: Number 37 by Ivan the Gorilla
One of the many art pieces drawn by Ivan the Gorilla, though you might have to obtain the rights by the Ivan Foundation if you want to use this.