🗣 Sessions with Lafayette - Serious Issues Thread

I promise this is the last update on this situation. So, my parents did end up apologizing and we talked things out, but I’m not ready to forgive them so soon because this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. So, I definitely won’t act like this is the last time they’ll do it. Also, a CPS person is going to visit me at school today to talk to me. Just want to let you all know that I’m safe and that I’m feeling more stable than before.

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This is probably the least serious issue anyone has ever had on this thread, but:

I have a friend I met at the start of the schoolyear, so about 2 and a half weeks ago. We have one class together.

I am kind of interested in this person, like interested in going out with them. Is this too soon to say something?

I’m kind of a newcomer to the whole dating game (I actually have a 0% rejection rate - cause I’ve never asked anyone).

So I am kind of worried this may be too early to say something, but I also don’t want to ruin this friendship, but I also want to go on knowing that I actually told someone what I think of them instead of never going for it. Does this make sense?

Luckily I won’t see her again until Friday so I can decide how best to make a fool of myself lol

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This is the most honest (and relatable) sentence I’ve read this year…
Wish you a lucky Friday!

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Here’s a question to ask yourself in regards to this: if you were to do nothing for a while and ignore your feelings and just be their friend, do you think those feelings would go away? And if they did, do you think your desire to be their friend would go away, too? If the answer to the first question is no, or if the answer to both questions is yes, then this friendship is already ruined, because it’s not real and won’t last no matter what you do. That leads to the whole “friend zone” controversy and sitcom shenanigans. It’s best early on to make it clear how you feel if you think the feelings won’t go away, or if you think you can’t just stay friends with them if you don’t pursue more. On the other hand, if you think you can be their genuine friend no matter if you never pursue them, or you do and it doesn’t work out, then you can try waiting a while to see if your feelings go away, or give it a try and find out early on if it won’t work out and quit that part quickly, allowing you to establish a lasting friendship without issues of uncertainty.

Mind you, this is coming from someone with a 100% success rate with romantic relationships… because I’ve only ever had 1 and I’m still in it, so take any advice I give on this subject at your own risk because I’m only speaking intuitively, not from personal experience.

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I have already asked myself that question. I’ve felt this way about other people before and I can still be friends with them (in fact I am still friends with many of them - and the ones I’m not friends with aren’t because of any feelings).

I am a person who can usually, 90% of the time control my feelings and emotions. So I don’t have a problem with putting my feelings aside if they’re not reciprocated.

So yeah, I can still be friends with people I have feelings for, cause I’ve done it before.

This is the first time I’ve actually felt confident enough to share them though (with anyone. Like I’ve never discussed this type of stuff with anyone in my life)

I actually rarely discuss my feelings or thoughts on anything tbh

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Ok @Heisenberg I don’t want to bother you but I think I need to clarify a little:

I’m not really worried about our friendship from my perspective, I’m more worried about it from her perspective. I don’t want to offend her and I don’t want her to think that I’m only friends for this reason (because that’s not true, I like her on a level that’s independent from my other feelings). I’m probably overcomplicating things and thinking too negatively but hey, it is what it is.

I also have a bit more of a philosophical question for you: do you think it’s somewhat natural to develop feelings for friends? I mean that’s how friendships start, because you like someone and spending time with them, right? You’re not going to be friends with someone you dislike and friendships with no feelings at all are never as strong. Does this make sense? Am I crazy?

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Mate, if you ask her out there then there will only be two answers

  1. yes
  2. no
    And from what your saying she sounds really nice and I’m sure she’ll understand if she does day no and you’ll still be friends im sure.
    Just remember that if you dont ask you don’t get a answer eh?
    Have a good one
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It seems there is not a “natural path” for friendships and relationships. You can be close friends for a decade and suddenly develop other feelings. You can be married for a decade but it changes to a deep friendship while romantic feelings fade.
Anything is possible. If you wonder this could become a relationship and you would be in for that, I think it is worth to ask her what she thinks. And if she says no, it is no roadblock for the friendship you had so far (as far I understand your feelings in the few posts).

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Haha guess that’s true. You can always rely on me to make a simple dilemma way too complicated. Sometimes I wish the brain had an on/off switch lol.

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You’re gotten one thing wrong there mate, it ain’t simple, for one you first need to gain enough courage and might to be able to ask in the first place and to accept your fate. Good luck whatever your path you’ve chosen

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as a stupid cunt that has “fallen in love with friends” thrice now, I can tell from my own experience its a proper delusion based on infatuation and admiration of said friend. all ye need is a good old couple of months and youll see it was nothing more than a momentary lapse.

and no, i never confessed to any of these friends, i developed the feelings, realized they were overblown ideas in a lonely mind and corrected myself back into the friendship mindset

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I didn’t ask the question, but this is something I really needed to hear.

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My ADHD and autism is kicking in bad and it’s fucking up my writing hobby. I keep writing a paragraph or so and then delete it because it all sounds weird to me or not the exact way I planned it in my head. I hate this and I know I need to discipline myself but I really just want to bash my head into the wall and die. I can’t finish anything.

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Well, what i normally do is take 5 (or 20!) qland chill out to some banging classical music (whatever you want) to calm myself to try again.

The next step is to just read the text as though you are a very dumb 5 year old and say to yourself "could i understand this? " if so, great! If not, save it in case you need it as a last resort backup, then try and rephrase it to sound as friendly as possible to all type of people.

If all else fails depending what it is, ask for help whether from your peers, your family etc

Ohh, and most importantly, try to remember that it doesn’t matter if it sounds weird or something because YOU made it and so it shall be great none the less.

Have a great one, my rock loving friend

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Cried at work today :pensive:

I was feeling fine I guess most of my shift, but when I got my sandwich out and sat down for lunch break tears just started coming out of my eyes.

I dunno. Today was only a bit more busy than Monday was, where I did hot bar a lot. But today I was shifted between like 3 different stations pretty quickly, and also messed up a few things (used the wrong milk, so had to remake a drink; forgot to note certain drinks as ‘iced’ at the till, so they took longer to make with the mix-up)
Guess some part of me just really didn’t like that. I didn’t mean to get all sad and overwhelmed.

I talked with my shift and store manager and they were understanding about it. Let me take my time where I needed and tap out for a minute if I needed it too (I didn’t later). But apparently Starbucks is notorious for being a very stressful job – especially at the start – and feeling overwhelmed like this is “normal”
…great?

So yeah :disappointed:

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I’m sad to hear that you had such a stressful day today and I hope you were able to rest a little after work :pray:

I guess such jobs require a certain routine, you know what I mean? I believe after a while you will have all these processes in your head and it will be easier for you.

I wish you all the strength to stay strong and be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed sometimes and it’s okay to cry :heart:

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Thank you. I had a little bit of a nap when I got home (I’ve actually been doing that a lot since the start of the month) had a proper lunch and relaxed with some TV, which helped.

I guess I’m just doubting myself a lot and putting a lot of pressure on myself when I don’t realise it. Especially when people around me are so good at it already, and also pushing me a bit to get into that routine as well.
I feel like a broken record, but it really is a lot, and that’s what’s getting me down.

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@TheChicken I hope you’re feeling better today. Sadly, alot of retail jobs like to throw their new recruits in the deep end quite quickly, and expect everyone to carry a heavy workload.You’re definetly not alone in this, I had a few cases of feeling awful after going through a busy shift, even if it was only 4 hours long. But you will definetly get better with more practice, and especially once you feel nice and familar in the store that you work at. It’s surprising how much it can help when you treat the store like a second home, which you feel comfortable in.

Hopefully you should have some more confidence in yourself once you’ve gotten in some proper experience and start to get a real handle on everything.

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Thanks for the advice. The feeling sucks, but I guess I do have to live with it until I can get better at everything and get used to the pace at work. How I’m feeling really depends on the day and how “well” I feel I did.

Also earning money is nice. It’s a decent pay that pops up in my account every 2 weeks or so.
Numbers go up yay

I’ve been having short 1-1.5 hour naps nearly every day coming back from it, no matter the length.

  • Part of that is probably the bit of sleep deprivation I’m putting myself through every night beforehand – the stress of anticipation makes me less excited about getting sleep earlier.
  • The other part of that is definitely the internal stress and tension I keep within myself throughout the day, that I can finally relax after it all.
    • They always want you moving, doing something, to keep things well-stocked and flowing nicely. Though when I’m not doing that, in brief moments where no one’s walked through the door, I’m getting a bit stressed about what I could be doing that I’m not. Sometimes the list of options is too much to parse in my little confused head.

During the summer, my sister got a job as a counselor at a Bicycling summer camp. Nearly every day she’d come home all hot and tired (makes sense, since it was sweltering) and usually napped on the couch.
I didn’t understand it then, but I do now…

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