🗣 Sessions with Lafayette - Serious Issues Thread

[Switcher]

This might seem like bullshit for some of you and like a minor issue but things I need to clarify before writing it all down:

1. Currencies exist, a certain amount of money might seem like nothing for certain states, but for my currency it’s more then enough.
2. Mental health doesn’t revolve only around loneliness and depression, ofcourse.
3. I feel like shit.

So, I bought something from Etsy (unrelated to Hitman), and I spent on it around 60$, the thing is I didn’t got notified that the package arrived, and the local mail office is returning (hasn’t returned yet) the package to the original sender, but since the sender is currently inactive, idk if I’ll get my money back, so it unbelievebly sucks, any advices for Etsy?

[Yacob]

Oh man I’m sorry to hear that. All I can recommend is reach out to the shipper (which you said isn’t possible), reach out to the mail delivery service and see if you can go collect the package or have it turned around, or reach out to Etsy corporate and ask them to fix it.

I don’t know where you live or how you paid but stateside if you use a credit card and don’t receive the item you can dispute the charge. It’s a fairly easy process.

[Switcher]

Yeah, it is quite the shit situation, I ordered the items in August, they arrived in September and I’ve been trying to get them since October, tho I can’t remember if I paid with my credit card or paypal, I’ll try checking through both to see if I can get a refund.

I was browsing for a couple of days trying to get these items I really wanted and at this point I just want my money back, I just want this whole mess to end.

[Switcher]

@Yacob just contacted paypal, hope I’ll get either my order (for real this time) or my money back, the amount I spent equals to a day of work, I just hope it all turns out for the best

[Danger_dog_guy_7]

Lately my dad and my sister (19yo) are constantly fighting over the most minor bullshit things happening in the house. The most pathetic thing is that 9 out of 10 times my dad starts attacking on personality traits. Although fair, since my sis is acting like a spoiled kid, littering all her stuff through the house and leaving the lights and doors open, willingly not eating with us, calling my ma’s food “crap” and then ordering pizza, it is really annoying. Every day during dinner when the family is together it takes max. 5 minutes before all hell brakes lose. Granted, my dad works long days at his job he clearly hates, and my sis does non other than skip class and eat junk food in her bed, but still.

The problem: their frustrations about each other are reflected onto me and my mom. Litterly anything we say after one of their dumb ass discussions is greated with a vicious snub. My sister starts acting like a highclass bitch, walking straight over us and treating us like shit. And my dad takes on the role of a know-it-all, treating us like dumb morons and laughing at us. Me and my mom do nothing to deserve this treatment yet we are the victim of their behaviour.

This is a daily phenomenon. I can understand where they come from but even when theres one second of peace in the house I know theyre looking for a reason to stir up some shit. That puts me and my mom in the same boat, where we are slowly starting to hate the both of them, and looking down on them as pathetic shitheads with no purpose but giving us trouble. I hate to hate my dad atleast, but goddamn they cant help themselves.

[Urben]

Ever tried to seek a lone talk with your dad? I can imagine that could make things better. Not so sure about a typical sister. But you surely know better.

At least you are not the bottom of all this and have your mom who treads you better.
Hopefully these tensions are just temporarily.

[Danger_dog_guy_7]

Oh we had some talk but my dad is the personification of ignorance. Its always someone else’s fault and he does nothing to improve the situation. Same goes for my sister, but theres no point speaking to her.

I still love my dad but sometimes he gets under my skin and its hard to get him back into the love zone.

[Khakiasp]

This is a very difficult and awful situation for you and yer mom. And i hope that this flies over soon for youse two. But in the meantime have you considered “systeem-therapie”, a classmate of mine had this with their family when tensions were this unreasonably high and it helped alot with their home situation

[Nazareth]

Sounds like you and your mother can use a long, no contact vacation away from your father and sister. Sometimes people don’t know what have until it’s gone so maybe some distance might change thier perspectives, although I think your sister might be a lost cause at this point. It can be hard to let family go but sometimes that’s the best thing you can do for them or for yourself.

[Mini]

A new day, new bad news. My brother’s girlfriend’s mother died suddenly today.

Last week the child at the school where I work, now her. It’s not stopping. Earlier this year my best friend had a stroke, my father was diagnosed with cancer, our family dog had to be put down.

Slowly I have no more capacity for it. I had a severe panic attack earlier because I’m afraid that sooner or later I’ll be in a situation like that. That it will happen to my parents too. And this fear is really eating me up. Hardly a day goes by without me crying.

And I no longer dare confide in my friends or even write here in the forum. Because I’m beginning to get the feeling that I’m getting on everyone’s nerves with the constant news of death and illness from my circle of friends and family. I’m afraid that people will roll their eyes and say “Oh no, not again! It’s getting annoying!” But believe me, it gets annoying for me, too!

I’m at a point right now where I just want to press pause. I would like to pause life so I can catch my breath, but I can’t and then the next shit comes. And it’s all starting to show psychologically and physically, at least it’s what I guess. I have physical problems that I never had before, for example my skin has dried out so much that it’s cracked. I never had problems with that before. I’m struggling hard with my eating disorder because food is a coping mechanism of mine. And everything feels so heavy right now, I can’t manage even the smallest everyday tasks because I feel like a heavy weight is pushing me down all the time. Depression really kicks in.

I keep thinking “I hope this shitty year is over soon” but of course I know it has nothing to do with the year. Still, there’s this hope of a silver lining on the horizon, that maybe next year everything will be better and that maybe it’s a small new beginning.

Or not and with my bad luck it will be much worse. But I shouldn’t be so pessimistic. I’m just finding that harder and harder to do, unfortunately.

[v1deost]

Venting is completely healthy to do and none of us would ever think less of you for sharing what you’re going through on here. If talking about this helps you, we’re here for you. Even if it’s just to listen. You’re a really nice, funny, and sweet person, Mini. I hope things begin to look up for you in 2023… if not sooner! I’m also deeply sorry that death kind of seems to be following you around so much. My father’s boss is in a similar boat, in that within the last 10 years he’s lost a son, brother, and a cousin. He’s still going though. As awful as it is, it’s normal. I don’t think we ever get quite used to it, but there are healthy ways of coping and dealing with it. It will be ok. Like I said, we don’t think of you as annoying or judge you for sharing. I sincerely hope you feel better soon mini. Sending good thoughts.

[Mini]

Thank you so much for your kind words @v1deost I have the feeling that fate just doesn’t mean well with me at the moment And then I ask myself if it’s just bad luck. And whether this run of bad luck will be followed by another run of good luck? At least that’s what I’m hoping for.

The fact that people have to die is a fact that affects us all. And even though I know this, I ignore it most of the time because both my own finiteness and that of my loved ones frighten me. I want to enjoy life, despite the knowledge that it won’t last forever. But at the moment, all these events inhibit me because the fear and thoughts of death naturally outweigh them.

Fortunately, I have an appointment with my therapist today. I hope she can help me to see more of the beauty again. For example, I am really looking forward to Christmas and would like to enjoy this time right now without being afraid and sad all the time

[Heisenberg]

@Mini

The fact that people have to die is a fact that affects us all. And even though I know this, I ignore it most of the time because both my own finiteness and that of my loved ones frighten me. I want to enjoy life, despite the knowledge that it won’t last forever. But at the moment, all these events inhibit me because the fear and thoughts of death naturally outweigh them.

I feel for you, @Mini. This paragraph here is how I feel at all times, and have for nearly 20 years. I hope you’re able to overcome it, and that any deaths that you’re forced to experience during such time are at least preferable to long suffering being experienced, especially when recovery is out of the question. That’s pretty much all that can be hoped for. Hang tough as much as you can. The only solace I can offer is that nearly every member of the human race has gone through this with you at least once, or will eventually.

[Swangtheugly]

So I’m frustrated with my second job. For context I decided to take up a second job while my main job is lack of a better way to put it in hibernation just to keep myself busy. I wasn’t looking for much outside of a maximum of 30 Hours a week.

Well everything was fine at first til it wasn’t and in the span of a month I went from an average of 28 hours now reduced to a whopping 4 hours. Now as a produce associate who gets paid $12.50 an hour that’s not a lot all things considered with my paychecks since I get paid every Friday being around $46.

Now my issue with this all is not necessarily the money part, but how my manager is going about it. With the excuse being budget meanwhile we have older associates who are receiving disability who want less hours working between 16-24 hours a week. I just wish more optimal distribution of the labor budget was apparent rather than completely sideline a single individual.

[Yacob]

Can you take the shifts of the guys who want to work less? Like is there a trading system in place?

Also look into your states laws for unemployment. Not every state is the same but in many states you can claim underemployment when you are not getting enough hours.

[TheChicken]

[wall of text here as usual]
I need to become tied to a schedule, even on my days off.

I sleep in till 12 often when I’ve got a day off. You might think that’s fine, it’s my day off, I’ve got nothing to do – you’d be right, but man, does it throw off whatever schedule I’ve had planned (in my head) for that day.
The motivation just gets out of whack, and especially now with nightfall happening way sooner, it just sucks. Oop, 5 hours later, it’s dark outside!

It’s not that I have anywhere to be, or something to be up for, specifically, but it’s really disheartening to me when I can wake myself up (all tired) at 4am for an early shift, but when it comes to a day off, I just turn off my alarm and sleep as much as my body can handle.
And really, conscious me hates that! I wanna be doing something by the halfway point in the day.
Doodle something, get an early-morning game in of something before I have to walk the dog in the aft, check out that damn audition website I signed up and paid money for and figure out what to film and send in!!

I know I’ve been struggling a bit this last third of the year with my new job (and before that was focused a bit on looking for one) but I’m finally settling into it all and I feel like I’m wasting my time by not having control of this sleep schedule… I guess the main problem is that I do stay up late, but I like being awake and having time to do stuff…

(Yesterday I woke up at 2pm! Partly my fault, but I don’t even remember my 10am alarm that day so, shucks. I had an early morning shift that day, had a nap when I came home, then had a nap in the car on the way to a family dinner which probably didn’t help either – and by the time we got back that night at 10:30, I got my second wind of energy and stayed up until 2am… I then jumped in bed and didn’t feel tired enough to sleep until sometime after 3am, last I checked my clock – I figured I wouldn’t need more than 7 hours of sleep but I guess I was wrong).

Anyway, I’m unfortunately beating myself up a bit about relaxing on days where I have nothing. I just really have a plan visualized of how I want to spend my day – it just gets so out of my control sometimes (unconsciously) – so I need to do better to keep track of that and stick to it.
(I uh, also, definitely need therapy again, as usual… I just keep putting off those emails to people, and then my problems sink to the back of my mind, and I think “oh, what do I have to talk about anyway??”
Ugh I seem to self-sabotage so much it’s frustrating.)

Sorry for the overly-long explanation. Anyway im off to work today, see yall later

[Sean]

Failed a class in my first semester of university. I feel like shit. Actually that’s not true. I just feel nothing. I wish I could say I tried my best, but I’d be lying if I did. I don’t even have that.

[Silvereyes]

I know it is a bit of a meme, but honestly, I always feel a lot worse during this time of year. I live on the coast of Scotland under Edinburgh, and here, we rarely get white snow or such. What we tend to get is constant 1-5C temperature, ice, slush from the ice, and high bitter winds from the sea. Just cold miserable days and I find it difficult not for it to affect my mental state. I just… don’t want to be here frankly. I hate going to work, wanting to go home, then realising I’m going to be freezing in my house because I can’t afford to put the heating on much.

That second job I was doing at the supermarket, the temp job I was hoping that they would hire me on permanently? Well, they let me go, told me on Christmas Eve, did my last shift New Year’s Eve. I mean, they never promised me anything about keeping me, so no real bitterness about it. But I do feel like a bit of a rube, because between this job and my normal job, which I was also doing a few extra hours at to fill in for one of our key staff being off sick, I was doing 50+ hours a week, and I just feel burnt out and exhausted and felt like I got to do very little Christmassy stuff. Guess the extra money is nice, I’m not as broke as I usually am at Christmas time. And I’ve got 2 weeks of paid holiday off my main job after 1 more week, which I sorely need. But good god, I am so eager to leave this job, but now I feel like I’m going to be stuck here even longer now.

[Charlie_Farmer]

@Silvereyes

I live on the coast of Scotland under Edinburgh

theres your problem! (pure 100% British man speaking)

Also, you got this mate, that extra money will be useful (whether to boost your ego or just because of CoL and the bonkers prices of things)

I hope you have a better start to your New Year than that soon mate! Best of luck.

[TheChicken]

Work was an okay affair today.

My manager had a chat with me in my last 20 mins of my shift about how I’ve seemed slightly frazzled recently in terms of the routine of the different stations.
No one’s mad at me or saying anything negative, just something some supervisors mentioned recently, as I’ve been doing a little ‘worse’ than a couple weeks ago, after I’d had a small re-training and I was doing very well independantly.

I’m still doing a good job, he reassured me of that, but I do agree that I’m maybe at 75% or 80% of confidence and efficiency of what I was earlier last month.

We talked, partly it’s about just getting tripped up a bit or not doing the proper order of tasks and that slowing me down. I think I just need more time on those areas so I can get used to them, and he says he’ll personally work with me Tuesday to figure out my routine and see how I can improve even a little.
But also it’s mostly internal stuff with me. Hard on myself, I’m not communicating when I’m feeling overwhelmed, personal pride stuff I think unfortunately.

I need therapy and finding people is hard and not my favourite thing either.
Thankfully Starbucks has programs to help with that, which he told me about, so I’m feeling a lot better about that.
I just have to work up the courage to dial the help line for it.

Doesn’t seem like I’m in trouble here… hopefully… anyway I’m glad I just learned of more resources for therapy which should get me going on that.