Update: I did the recipe. I didnāt really follow any measurements but it came out edible. Parents liked it. Thanks.
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I got dragged to another church sermon. It was Christmas season, so there was a cute little play about a talking lamb and King Herod killing all the babies.
I tried to ask out one of my church friends, but I fucked it up because Iām an autistic moron. At least I have a reason not to go to another sermon.
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Ah yes more tales from āThe Good Bookā, if you had a buck every time a biblical King of Israel suggested infanticide as a solution to their problems, you would have two bucks. It isnāt a lot but it is weird that most Christians call this āthe good bookā but think GTA will turn you into a mass murderer.
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Well, in fairness, The Good Book isnāt trying to get you to behave like the baby-killing king, and GTA is asking you to be a mass murderer. Only digitally, but still. Herod is explicitly the bad guy who you are not supposed to cheer for.
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I donāt know about that one chief, I know a lot of Christians who believe shit that would and have killed more infants than Herod ever could. Also the third most pious state in the US has its highest infant mortality rate (that being Mississippi).
Only towards cops and I bet cops around the world have a higher infant mortality rate than all the Twelve Tribes ever did.
But what if I hate babies more than anything else in this world? What if I am pro-infanticide? Try Devilās advocating this one, Mr. Moral Majority!
Hence why I said TGB isnāt trying to get you to be a baby-killing king, and I was careful to phrase it that way. What āChristiansā try to get you to do is another thing entirely. Not only are they not really āChristians,ā most of them havenāt even read TGB and wouldnāt know who Herod was, but theyād probably think he was a feminist democrat.
Not true. Towards other gang members, and thereās the kill frenzies and other such challenges.
Hence why I said who youāre not supposed to cheer for, just as youāre not supposed to cheer for Darth Vader or The Joker, and yetā¦
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Thanks to you guys Iāve spent like an hour last night reading King Herods wiki pageā¦
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Hey, expanding knowledge never hurts (and Iām looking at you, American Christians, on that one).
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Hey everyone. Itās been a while since I actually posted something here on HMF besides lurking around. But itās also something Iād like to talk about, so here goes.
My boss called. We had a long discussion about what other co-workers think of my job behaviors. At first, itās about not giving enough support, or rather, not lending them a hand in a right way, which lead them to think Iām a selfish person who only picks easier tasks to do. I never saw myself in such way and felt wrongfully accused, so I was pretty shocked, sad, and angry about this statement. However, she also pointed out that I am constantly affected by my emotions. A bad interaction with a customer can make me act out a bit, like cursing and playing loud music through speaker without considerations about others. This is the reason why none of my collogues were willing to tell me that. The monster in me scares them.
Today I discover that I am not the good person I think I was, nor is the online helpful guide I used to be when I was new to this site. Truth is when I am off my duty, I am just a loner troll who returns to cave, seldom socializes and always keeps its distance away from anyone, even those who tries to get close to me. Joining society and working out how to interact with people is difficult.
Anyway, I am still glad she called and thankful for this. It kinda changed my perspective about her being a careless employer. I mean, she could have not cared about it and just let go of me after a certain amounts of complaints. But she made sure that even my co-workers, despite not directly speaking to me, still believe I can change. And you know what? I will. From now on, I will dedicate to help them in everyway I can. And about me being over-emotional and acting out, thatās a lot harder to improve but I will try to as well. Thank you all so much for listening to me rambling. I wish you all a great holiday season! 
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Hang in there buddy. Merry Christmas.
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I lost the love of my life. Iām not sure how to cope with this. I know itās my fault and I feel like a terrible person.
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Iām hesitant to ask, but by ālost,ā which way do you mean? Both possibilities require a different kind of healing.
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Itās a reasonable question. I made some mistakes and she decided we couldnāt be together anymore.
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I donāt know your circumstances but me and the love of my life had split up for a year too, but we found back together and we going to marry this June.
Donāt lose all hope.
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Oh buddy Iām sorry. Better to have loved and lost though than to never have loved. Time heals all.
This wonāt be helpful yet, you need time to grieve, but after that remember there are plenty of fish in the sea. Youāre a sharp guy. Iām sure youāll find another when the time is right.
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Iām not trying to call you out but I kinda suspect that people who say this donāt know what it is to lose love. But then again, I never fell in love with anybody and Iām doing just fine, thank you! 
But joke aside, I am sorry for your loss Sean.
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I have had my fair share of lost love Mano. It takes time before you feel that way about it. For a while you just want to die or you think youāll never be happy again, but eventually you realise itāll be ok.
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About 3 weeks ago, I had a big falling out with someone I had been friends with for over 10 years. The cause of the falling out was my fault. But she also said some things that I think were out of line. In the argument, I think she got angrier that I wasnāt more emotive. I think she incinuated that my depression wasnāt something that I had, that I donāt appreciate how lucky I am. I had told her of my autism but I think the argument showed that she didnāt actually understand it. I worry Iām making excuses for my own behaviour, but I do feel bad for the argument for it being my fault but for also realising that someone I thought knew me didnāt know me at all.
Really, as of late, I just feelā¦ disconnected. I do perk up when Iām talking to people, but I struggle to really connect properly. I think my default is to try and be positive and praise others. I feel I have no real talent or qualities or skills to contribute, so I try to make up for it with enthusiasm and positivity. But after talking to people, I often feel like all Iāve done is perhaps annoy them or be overbearing. That Iām a burden on other people.
Iām worried that the anti-depressant Iām on, Sertralin, is causing my apathy to get a lot worse. It has made me feel a lot less sad and down, but it also causes me to feel very blank and empty. Honestly, with the type 2 diabetes diagnosis, a part of me just doesnāt care about it. I donāt want to take care of myself, I mean why bother, I donāt like being me. I donāt want to be me.
Iām very tired. Iām meant to do a check up with the doctor this week, Iāll ask them about the medication.
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Never ever, ever mistake positivity or kindness for a weakness or think it is some useless skill. There are so many people in this world who are or become huge assholes because it is so much easier to be a bitter prick than it is to actively want to see the good in others.
If being nice, genuine or not, wasnāt a real skill then I would have been given one of the hundred PR or secretary or receptionist jobs I have applied for over the past year. Either way and I know it is probably the advice you want to hear least (because it is the most obvious) but you may not just simply have found something you are truly good at.
Just experiment and take a chance on a hobby but more importantly just stick with it for a while. You are a Sonic fan; maybe join their art community, maybe take up programming like the Sonic Mania team or even make an abridged series or something to experiment with video creation. The internet can always use more positive people on it, now more than ever.
I mean if they minimised your depression then I donāt think they understand mental illness. If they wanted you to get as angry as they were then all that means is she just wanted to have an argument instead of a mature discussion or meaningful resolution.
Autism or not, not getting as angry as she was is the mature and correct thing to do in any argument even if the other person thinks you should be mutually angry. Anger is another emotion you should never let people feel they are entitled to have.
People are often more forgiving than you think they are even if it never really seems like it. We all really like you, sure you never see our faces but never once have I felt like it is a burden to talk.
I am no medical practitioner but that sounds a lot like emotional blunting, which is a common side effect of SSRIs. That sort of shit is why I never asked to be medicated at all, it fucks you up and if you quit when it is too late then it can fuck you in other fun ways.
Between that and the suicidal ideation (common in children, teens and young adults taking Zoloft) I would recommend you do talk to your doctor and I wouldnāt leave anything out especially the suicidal ideation. They will need that information if they need to reformulate your current dosage or when prepare alternative medication.
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Thank you @Accidental_Kills98, that means a lot. I do want to emphasise, Iām not suicidal. I donāt want to die. Itās more that I just want to give up, stay in bed, never leave the house. You may be right about it being emotional blunting, but I still do get periods of happiness and sadness, Iām not totally cold. I just really donāt like myself, how I look, how I talk, I feel constantly awkward around others, especially in public spaces. I think the problem I have is that the Diabetes is invisible, and so hard to really perceive it as a problem when I canāt see it. I have made big diet changes and started doing more excercise to combat it, but itās going to be another month before the doctor does another blood test and see if my level goes down. Iām at 51, the goal is to hit 41 which would take me out of diabetic range. I just have no idea how much work or time it takes just to go down one point, let alone ten.
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