🗣 Sessions with Lafayette - Serious Issues Thread

[MrOchoa]

Don’t worry Heisenberg, you’ll meet again

[djsojus]

I wish you lots of strength. It’s never easy to lose a family member. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

[Yacob]

Sorry for your loss. That is never easy.

[zsott1]

I’m feeling very conflicted,that I can’t even explain, I’ll try to put everything in context, but I need to load off a little.

I don’t know the woman who gave birth to me, I have only two (maybe three ) memories of her and neither of them are positive…though one of them isn’t a huge deal if you are older than 5 y/o.
So; this woman just died a few weeks ago.
What you have to know, that I have a half brother, who grew up with her… we are on speaking terms, but ever since I live abroad, we barely speak to each other.
So one day, at work, my boss told me, that my phone is blowing up, I should check it.
Several missed calls from my parents and a message from my mother to call her, because my brother can’t get a hold of me. ( my stepmom actually, but I always looked at her as a mother figure)
I told my boss, that it’s very weird, either my lilbro gets married or my biological mother died. - as a joke
I called her, I’ve joked with it again, but she did confirmed it, that yes, she is dead.
My direct response was: ‘Welp. Anyway how are you?’
After that it started bugging me, that I don’t feel grief, but I should to some extent, at least out of respect. There is a little sadness though, because now I can’t get to know her… yet I had/have no desire to.
After that, this kind of… emptiness turned into anger, then into a giant question mark.
When her autopsy was done, it revealed, that she died of pneumonia.
According to my brother she wasn’t well for months on end, even had a spitbucket filled with vomit and coughed up blood.
She refused to go to see a doctor, instead she bought a cough medicine, saying that doctors would prescribe the same.
In short, she got sick with something minor, very treatable… cured in a few days.Left it untreated for god knows how long; Eventually her lungs collapsed, filled up with blood and choked on it.

It bothers me to no end, that I’m angry at her for dying in very stupid way, yet idgaf about her.

[TheAtlanticTempest]

So I’ve finally realised why my new TV Tropes account was banned with no further explantation; this one mod named Fighteer is a raging asshole.

And don’t take it from me, even Tropers before me have said Fighteer has a history of being an abusive little shit.

Apparently he was also behind the mega-popular Complete Monster and Magnificent Bastard threads being shut down permanently.

Because of this one asshole’s grudge against me, I can’t edit or even message the Moderators again.

[Heisenberg]

An asshole and a loser, with power over other people’s rights and privileges. Seems to be going around.

[Gontranno47]

Hello I don’t know the circumstances between you and your birth mother, but it’s okay not to feel a sense of loss from her death. It sounds like she wasn’t a major part of your grown life, and that’s why this didn’t have an emotional effect on you. But at the same time, she was your biological mother and so often is the case that we want to get to know someone after we find out that’s no longer possible
You don’t have to be heartbroken by her death, it’s okay to just respect that she was here, and be concerned for the way she went. You can have concern for her without needing to be 100% invested. Maybe there’s someone you can talk to, to get to know her better?

And if you can’t get anywhere with that, maybe this could at least be a reminder to reach out to someone you haven’t contacted in a long while

[TheAtlanticTempest]

Well, it took several days of emailing more moderators, but my account was finally approved. Don’t have much big plans with the account, just fixing a bunch of stuff and editing a few media pages.

[Swangtheugly]

Being in a blossoming relationship has been great. This wont be the typical Serious Post. It’s very good, emotional it’s been healing, physically it’s been intense.

They’re always reading my body language, how I react to things. Their form of love and affection isn’t as clear, but I’ve picked up on the behavior to where I can identify it.

But it becomes very clear when they do things that makes me tick. Previous thoughts don’t exist anymore when this happens and they’re always telling me how cute I get when it happens. It’s a moment where I need composure cause the feelings are very intense. They ask me why I do that, and I explain that when I close my eyes and take deep breaths after that it’s just me attempting to regulate myself so it doesn’t go into pure instinct mode where I’m making decisions purely off impulse and desire rather than decisions with thought behind them.

The issue, is they know that composing myself can only do so much. Overload can and will happen, they know how to push buttons and the things that make us tick work in tandem and synergies extremely well. In a way it can be viewed as exploitative. But fortunately when boundaries are pushed between them and I. Consent comes first.

[Freezer]

Found out my boss and another superior call me transphobic nicknames behind my back and keep joking around every time I use the toilet if I sit down or stand up for it.

Also they call me “it”.

This in addition to saying I have no brain cells whenever I make a mistake.

[rattleshnake]

Could human resources maybe help you with that? I’m sorry that people are assholes.

[Freezer]

We don’t have an HR department cause it’s a small company.

But also the last job I had an issue like this at, HR told me it was my fault for not establishing clear boundaries. HR often likes to defend the employer, not the employee.

[MrOchoa]

They are fucking assholes

[EvilGeniusRo]

Wow. Sorry to hear that. The boss no less. I say try and find a new job, a small company with assholes as bosses don’t deserve any employees.

[Gontranno47]

Damn that’s bullying, discrimination and inappropriate workplace behavior all at once, I’m sorry you had to/are having to go through that is there a tribunal or a workplace advocacy group you can go to? Or join a union to get their legal team on it?

Failing that, sue them and see how their small company deals with allegations of a toxic workplace!

[Heisenberg]

What @Gontranno47 said. And if you can, if it’s an option for you, go with the biggest and most well-known law office that you can, so that it gets as much exposure as possible.

[Gontranno47]

And collect every item of workplace bullying you’ve experienced since and from now on, so you have a case file full of them. And once you’re done with the legal route, sell the story to an online journal. I normally don’t go for such an aggressive route, but otherwise they’re free to continue doing it whoever they hire

[Heisenberg]

Plus, it will give any other smaller companies who are doing similar things and believe they’re below the radar serious concerns once they hear about it. It could potentially help others in a similar position. When this behavior is systemic like this, the only way to truly deal with it is full exposure. Otherwise, if it only deals with the individuals who personally participated in the behavior, it still opens up retaliation down the road when everyone moves on from talking about it, once other reasons are thought of to take disciplinary actions against the complainant.

[Urben]

There are also sites where you can rate your (former) employer where you can write that. That can be extra painful for companies that are small and therefore like have few or no other ratings yet.

Though I do not want to suggest such a platform as I think you need to be a bit careful it is a legit one, and my experience is limited to my country. Surely you should keep evidence at home in case the company tries to get such a review removed.

[Swangtheugly]

Today has been the scariest day of my life.

Recently here in Pennsylvania we had a snow storm. This resulting in sleet and ice on the roads especially in my neck of the woods and by extension my partners.

They spent the night with me during this storm out of safety concerns. I took them home earlier this morning so they can get ready for work. Me being the good boyfriend cleaned off their car and got it ready for their short commute. I kiss them goodbye, tell them I love them, and to have a good day I work.

I leave, they follow 10 minutes after, shortly after they leave they get into an automobile accident not far from their house.

They got transported to the ER, and upon hearing this news from their mom my world just shattered. A lot of concerns and worries. I won’t get into the specifics but their mom, step dad and I have been in the ICU for hours. Their mom and I have been spending time with them speaking to them. Letting them know we’re here.

I’ll be spending the night here with them as their eyes and ears for their mom. Just to keep them updated.

But what’s important is they’re stable, and resting.

I love them immensely, so seeing them like this and knowing how they’re gonna beat themselves up over this. I’m just glad they’re still with us.

Hug your loved ones folks and constantly tell them you love them even if you’re annoying about it.